Ella's Twisted Senior Year(32)

She drops down right next to me, in the middle seat. Already this is going better than the last time we were in here alone. “Okay, so, there’s not many movie options tonight. I was thinking maybe we start a new TV show.” She looks over at me expectantly. “It could be our thing. We can pick one with a lot of episodes and watch them all over time.”

“That works for me. I’m all about finding more ways to spend time with you.”

Her chest rises as she draws in a deep breath, her lips puckering into a smile. She swallows. “We’re gonna end up making out, aren’t we?”

The timid look in her eyes makes my head spin. My heart struggles with my head in what I should say that won’t scare her away. “We don’t have to.” And I mean it, I do, but I know disappointment seeps through my voice.

She leans over and runs her fingers across mine. I turn my palm up and her hand slips into mine. “I want to,” she says. “I don’t know why exactly, but I want to.”

I take her cheek in my hand and tilt her lips up to mine. This kiss is different. It’ sweet and longing, soft and pressing.

She leans into me, crawling into my lap. I welcome her with open arms and I take her blanket and pull it over both of us. She smells like flowers again, and I breathe her in deeply, like I might never get to be this close again.

“This is fun,” she murmurs against my lips.

“Mmhmm,” I mumble back, kissing her open mouth. I slide my tongue across her lips and she shudders in my grasp. It is the cutest thing ever. We melt into each other, kissing like we’ve been doing this forever. Like I already know every inch of this girl. She’s still the same girl I’ve loved my whole life. We’re just a little more complicated.

Some TV show plays on the flat screen, the glow reflecting off her creamy skin. We slide down the couch until we’re lying side by side, feet intertwined and hands tangled up in each other.

I run my hands through her hair and kiss her hard, our tongues tasting each other.

“This is the best day ever,” I whisper against her neck.

She crawls on top of me, resting her elbows on my chest while she peers into my eyes. Something sad flickers across her features and I run my hands up her back. “What’s wrong?”

She wets her lips. “I don’t know how to stop hating you,” she says softly.

“What does that mean?” She’s on top of me, her boobs pressing against my chest, her lips just inches from mine. I taste her lip gloss. How can she still hate me?

She shakes her head. “I guess I hated you so long, it’s hard to come down from that. Like, one minute, I want you really bad. The next, I’ll look at you and remember all the years of hating you. I used to get physically sick if I saw you in the hallway at school.”

My heart drops to my stomach. I brush her hair out of her eyes. “Ella, I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to hurt like that.”

She lays her head on my chest and wraps her arms around me. “I know. I don’t hate you anymore. It’s just hard. This feels right and wrong at the same time. Does that make sense?”

I stroke her arm and watch the steady rise and fall of her head on my chest. “Yeah, I get it. It is a little weird.”

“I just—how can we know this is real? Seems like we’re making out just because we can.”

I must take too long to reply because she looks up at me, fear stitched across her face. “Are we something? Or is this—nothing? I mean, I’m fine either way.”

I chuckle and kiss her forehead. “I don’t think you’d be fine either way. I wouldn’t.”

“So what does that mean?”

I’ve always loved you.

The words lodge in my throat so I think of a safer thing to say. “Maybe we should take it slower. We started as friends on Monday and by Friday we’re hooking up on the couch. Maybe. . . and it kills me to say this, but maybe we should slow down?”

Ella shakes her head. “I don’t want to slow down. You know how long I wanted for you to like me back?” She grins and it’s a huge turn on.

“So then what are we?” I ask.

She presses her lips to the space below my collarbone. “We’re us.”





Chapter 18





Now that Ethan and I are comfortably in make out territory, the weekend flew by faster than that tornado destroyed my house. We spent the entire time hanging out in the rec room, making up for lost time. April wanted me to go prom dress shopping with her but I’d lied and said I wasn’t feeling well. Actually, it wasn’t that much of a lie. The idea of being away from Ethan, even for a few hours of trying on dresses, made me physically ill. So it was kind of true.

It feels like nothing can ruin my Ethan high until Monday morning when we arrive in the school parking lot. I’m still finishing off my donut holes and Ethan reaches a massive hand into my bag, stealing one.

I slap it away. “You already ate yours, fatty.”

“But the donut holes are so good. I should get these next time.”

“Yeah, you should because I don’t like sharing.”

Ethan’s smile reaches his eyes and the moment of silence that follows makes us both lean forward. Then he blinks and pulls back, drumming his hands on the steering wheel.