Dream Me(29)
LeGrand was funny and entertained us with crazy stories about his world in the sheltered South of the uber wealthy. He rarely had anything nice to say about it, but at the same time he definitely took advantage of all the perks that came with it.
“Walk away if it’s so terrible,” I only half-kidded him. This was on a day when he’d just bought the most expensive tennis racket we carried—signed for, of course, using his dad’s account.
“Maybe I will one day.” It was the only time I ever saw the little smirk disappear from his face. But I knew he’d never walk away. People who get used to money don’t know what to do without it.
Alonso was a good listener but still too shy to participate much in conversations that included me, a girl. He didn’t have an eye contact problem with LeGrand, but he never looked me directly in the eye, not even once.
One day, after I shooed them out of the clubhouse claiming there were things they could work on even with Alonso’s taped ankle, they dragged two chairs out on either side of the net and playfully hit the ball back and forth until Mattie Lynn yelled at them to get the chairs off the court and go home if they couldn’t think of anything better to do. I was glad she did it because otherwise I would have had to put a stop to it myself. But I was happy for the company of LeGrand and Alonso. They made the time at work go by faster and distracted me from the frequent headaches which lasted longer and longer into the day. I hoped Alonso wasn’t picking up on the smell of alcohol I frequently detected on LeGrand’s breath, even though I didn’t see how he could miss it.
I was living my days just for my nights.
BABE’S BLOG
Zat’s there for me every night. I no longer have to find him; he always finds me. We sit together on the beach and watch the sunset light up the sky in a riot of pink and red swirls. We visit the giant redwood forests of California; icy cold Lake Tahoe with its crystal blue water, nestled in the Sierra Nevada mountain range; even the craggy red cliffs of the Grand Canyon that suck the breath from your lungs and make your heart pound. We watch the Fourth of July fireworks I once saw at the National Mall in Washington DC.
Whatever it is, wherever we go, Zat can’t get enough. He wants to go somewhere new every night but when I ask him why we can’t go someplace I’ve never been before, he doesn’t answer.
The morning after our first kiss, I wake up in such horrific pain I’m sure I’ll see a lump on my forehead when I look in the mirror. The pain is so awful I barely remember the kiss which preceded it—only that there was one. It occurs to me right then I might have a brain tumor. Maybe that explains the dreams, the crippling headaches. I burst into tears, sure that I’m dying when my mom walks in my room to wake me up for work.
“Baby!” she runs to my bed where I’m sobbing. “What’s wrong?”
“I have an awful headache,” I blubber. “I’ve been having them every day but this is the worst.”
“Why didn’t you say something before?”
“I don’t know. They usually go away after a while.”
“I’m going to call the doctor right now. See if they can get you in today.”
I’m so convinced I’m dying, I agree to see the doctor. I’m also scared to death that somehow whatever the doctor does is going to be the end of me and Zat.
__________
The doctor’s a nice older guy who immediately puts me at ease. He asks a lot of questions about my family history. Does anyone in my family have migraines? Yes, my father did but he grew out of them. When did he start getting them? Around my age. When did he grow out of them? About five years ago although he still suffers from an occasional attack. The doctor does some neurological tests, making me follow his finger with my eyes and stand on one foot and some other stuff, before he pronounces that I’m most likely going to inherit Dad’s migraines. He gives me medication so the headaches won’t ruin my life, and I leave with a prescription to be filled if needed.
I’ll bet nobody before has ever been so happy to get the diagnosis of a lifetime of migraines. I’m not going to die and I get to keep Zat in my life!
That night I tell Zat about the headaches.
“Why didn’t you tell me before, Babe?” Which is the same question Mom asked.
“The only thing that gets me through the day is looking forward to being with you at night. I didn’t want to ruin things between us. And anyway, I never have a headache when I’m with you, only when I wake up.”
Zat gets real quiet and the smile falls from his face.
“I’m doing this to you, Babe. It’s my fault.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! You’re what gets me through it. I just have migraines which run in my family.”
But the next three nights, Zat doesn’t come to me and I can’t find him no matter where I look. Each morning I wake up, exhausted, discouraged, but free of any pain. I don’t bother to fill my prescription. If headaches are the price I have to pay to be with Zat, I’ll suffer in silence.
__________
According to Mai, Captain Phillip’s is a great restaurant where you can get fresh seafood year-round. It’s supposedly a little expensive. I’ve never been there.
Comments:
Sweetness: okay, so i’m really bummed for you that you have to have these headaches for like your whole life. i get a headache sometimes when i’m having my period and that’s bad enough. i can’t imagine having them every day.