Call the Shots (Swim the Fly #3)(75)

“On second thought,” I say, dropping back into my seat, “maybe I’ll wait until after the appetizer.”





“OH, MY GOD, VALENTINE’S DAY is forever ruined for me.” I step off the bus followed closely by Coop and Matt. We make the left turn and head toward Uncle Doug’s house. I lost the coin toss, so I’m lugging Evelyn’s red suitcase while Coop and Matt are each hauling two small animal crates. “Not only did I go on the world’s most expensive and torturous date — where the tiny bits of undercooked food were served to us over the course of three hours — but then I get home, ready to pass out, and guess who’s snoring like a grizzly bear with a couple of kazoos shoved up its nose? I didn’t freakin’ sleep one minute last night.”

Matt can barely contain his laughter. “You should have done what Val and me did. Ordered a pizza and watched a movie at home.”

“Yeah.” Coop glares at me. “It would have saved you a lot of embarrassment and us a shitload of money. Speaking of which, we’re completely tapped, so you’re gonna have to ask your uncle for the other five hundred bucks he promised us. We still need to buy more props, and costumes, and the editing software.”

“I know. I know,” I say. “I’ll do it today. There’ll be plenty of time since we’re getting there so early.”

“Actually, we don’t have much time at all,” Coop says.

“What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t tell him?” Matt asks.

“He would have just freaked,” Coop says.

“Freaked?” My head’s on a swivel, looking from Coop to Matt to Coop. “About what?”

Coop sighs. “I told Leyna and Hunter to meet us at your uncle’s house at eleven. We’re going to shoot a scene with them and Uncle Doug first before Evelyn and Nick arrive for lunch at around one.”

“What?” I stop dead on the sidewalk. “Are you insane? You just totally screwed us. Why would you do that? We have to keep everything separate. Oh, my God. I’m a dead man.”

“Take a pill,” Coop says. “I left plenty of wiggle room. Leyna and Hunter will be long gone before everyone else shows up to film the humanzee rampage scene.”

“That’s not the point.” I grab my phone and shove it in his face. “Nick’s tracking us, remember? He’ll see our cell-phone signals in the same location.”

“No, he won’t,” Coop mocks. “I told Hunter and Leyna that your uncle was all paranoid about microwaves and they had to leave their phones at home. So chillax. The Coopster has it all covered.”

“Oh.” My tensed-up shoulders relax.

“Yeah. ‘Oh.’” Coop shakes his head. “Sometimes you lack faith, boss.”

I take a deep breath. “It’s still risky, though. I don’t see the point.”

“We’re on a schedule here, dawg. We have to be efficient about these things. When we’re at a location, we need to film as many scenes as we can at that location.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I start walking again. Despite my initial panic, I’m excited to see Leyna. I want to ask her about the picture she sent me. All night long, I kept going back and forth on it. Did she? Didn’t she? I call the photo up on my phone and stare at it again. If it is what I think it is, I’d prefer to keep it to myself. But just in case I’m way off base about this, I’d rather know for sure.

“Okay, question. What do you guys think this is?” I hold my phone out for Matt to see as we make the turn onto Uncle Doug’s street. “Leyna sent it to me last night. I can’t figure it out.”

Matt squints at the screen. “A blurry photo of something hairy.”

Coop leans over to take a look. His eyes go wide as soon as he sees it. “Holy crap, dude.” He bursts out laughing. “Are you serious? You guys don’t know what this is?”

“No,” I say.

Coop shakes his head. “Oh, you poor, naive little boys. That’s a shot of her squish mitten.”

Matt looks at it again. “No way.”

“Yes way,” Coop insists. “What was the message that came with it?”

I click back and read, “‘Happy Valentine’s Day. Hope you’re having fun. Wanted you to see this. Here’s my little muffin. What do you think?’”

Coop is in hysterics. “Jesus Christ, dawg! Could it be any clearer? That’s her muff-in. She’s totally sexting you.”

“That’s what I thought at first.” I pull the phone back and stare at the picture again. “But now I don’t know. . . .”

“How could you think that was anything else?” Coop hoots. “It’s dark, and hairy, and mysterious. Look up growler in the dictionary and that’s what you’ll see. I mean, come on, now. ‘Here’s my little muffin. What do you think?’ No lines to read between there.”

“I know, but . . .” I shake my head. “She doesn’t really seem like the sexting type. And even if she was, why would she send me something like this? We’re not even dating.”

“She’s probably bored waiting for you to make the first move, dude. It’s her way of thanking you for giving her the lead in the movie.”