Call the Shots (Swim the Fly #3)(52)

Nessa reaches over and places her warm hands over mine. And that doesn’t help matters.

At all.

“It’s okay,” she says. “The cards will tell us what the cards want to tell us. Just cut them three times and put them on the desk.”

My eyes are drawn to Nessa’s breast-indicating cross like a magnet. I’ve been trying so hard not to think about this very thing that it’s now all I can think about. And I realize too late that I’m staring. Staring at her boobs. Drawn to them like Gollum toward the One Ring.

I blink hard and point at the necklace to try and salvage this one. “That’s pretty,” I say dumbly. “I didn’t know you were religious.”

Nessa looks down and takes hold of the pendant. “You like it? It isn’t a Christian cross. It’s a way older symbol than that. I wear it to remind me that we are constantly at crossroads in our lives. And that you are always being asked to make choices.”

“Wow,” I say. “Coolish.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re attracted to it,” Nessa says, her expression totally open and sincere. “Why your eyes were drawn to it. Maybe you’re at a crossroads and you have to make a decision.”

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “Uh, yeah, could be, I guess.”

“Well. Let’s find out, shall we?” Nessa gestures at the tarot cards in my hands.

“Sure. Okay.” I cut the cards three times, feeling a little helium headed and jangly inside. “But then we should really get to work. We’re starting to film next week, and I need to have —”

“This’ll only take a few minutes,” Nessa says. “Once we discover what you’re struggling with in your own life, we can weave that theme into the movie. It’ll make the whole thing more meaningful. Trust me.” She closes her eyes and hovers her hands over the deck. “We’ll do a simple three-card spread. First position will tell us what the situation is. Second position will inform us of the problem. And the third card will explain the solution.” Eyes still closed, Nessa deals out three cards and places them facedown in a row. Then she opens her eyes and smiles. “And here we go.”

It’s bizarre, but just looking at those three cards lying there on that purple velvet, the candlelight flickering and dancing over them, makes me feel a little nauseous. It’s like when I go to the doctor and she tells me she’s going to take blood and I get an all-over-body queasiness.

“I don’t feel so good.”

“Just relax and breathe into it. It’s normal to resist self-discovery, Sean. Don’t worry. It’ll pass. Okay, now. The situation is . . .” Nessa reaches out and turns over the first card. “The Ace of Wands. Oh, that’s a powerful one. If I remember correctly.”

I stare at the picture of a hand bursting out of the earth and holding a flaming wand topped with glowing jewels. It certainly looks powerful. “What’s it mean?”

“Let’s see.” Nessa opens her desk drawer and takes out a Tarot for Newbies book. She flips through the pages and finds what she’s looking for. “Here we are. ‘Beginnings. A moment of great opportunity. A time for action. For decision. A new way of life. Transition.’” She looks up from the book. “Does that make any sense to you? Do you feel like something new is coming into your life? Something that maybe you’re afraid to fully embrace? Or to take action on?”

The flipping TV channels again: baby, movie, Cathy’s room, Evelyn. Leyna. Cleavage. “There are lots of new things in my life right now. Can you be more specific?”

“Hold on.” Nessa flips the page and runs her finger down it. “Aha, okay. ‘The Ace of Wands is filled with active male energy.’” She looks at me knowingly, then returns her gaze to the book. “It’s associated with ‘procreation and the seed of life.’” Nessa raises her eyebrows. “What do you think that could be referring to?”

Masturbation. Cleavage. Oh, God. My upper lip starts to sweat. “I don’t know. My mom’s pregnancy, maybe?”

“Really?” Nessa scrunches up her face skeptically. “Are you sure?”

Don’t look at her boobs. Don’t look at her boobs. “Could be.”

“Does that feel right to you? Do you have conflicting feelings about that?”

“No. I mean, yes. Sort of. I think so. I don’t know. Sometimes. Yes.”

“Orrrr”— Nessa points to something else in the book —“it also could have to do with relationships. New relationships. Perhaps something different for you. One you might be resisting. Something recent. Or something that might be just around the corner. Are you conflicted or concerned about your relationships at the moment?”

I cast my eyes around her room for something else to focus on. There, on the wall! A dagger! Think of daggers. And weapons. And armor. Bows and arrows. Staffs. Helmets. Chest plates. No. No. Not chest plates! Back to daggers! Just daggers!

“That card could mean anything, Nessa. I don’t think this is really helping. Maybe we should just get back to —”

“Ah.” Nessa holds up her hand. “We’ve only looked at one card. The other two should clarify things.” She flips the center card over. The head of a blindfolded woman floats over an ocean with two broadswords crossed beneath her. Weapons. Yes. Thank goodness.