Burn Before Reading(39)

"I -" I set my jaw. "I am happy."

Wolf scoffed, so derisively it bounced off the walls. I thought of all my old things stored away in my closet, of my phone empty of texts and calls from friends, of crossing Sarah Lawrence off my wishlist, of my desk crowded with textbooks and only textbooks.

"I - I will be happy," I corrected. "Eventually."

"When?" He asked. "When your dad gets better? When you've decided you've 'fixed' him? When, Beatrix, will you make time in your busy schedule to get around to being happy?"

I bristled. "You're not exactly sunshine and rainbows yourself."

"If insulting me makes you feel good, then fine. Do it. I'll take as much as you want to give, if that's the only way you can take your frustrations out."

It hit me, then.

"You said it," I marveled.

"What?" He snapped.

"My name. You said it.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. "I suppose my pride isn't as strong as your childishness, then."

"For the last time, I'm not a child -"

He rounded on me, coming close again, his fingers playing wildly with his silver rings.

"No, you're right. It's impossible for someone who gave up their childhood for their father to be childish. You're just stubborn. Stubborn and na?ve and -"

We were so close, I could see the golden streaks in his eyes, feel the heat thrumming off his wine-flushed skin. It was so stupid, so wrong, but I couldn’t ignore how handsome he looked, even frustrated. Especially frustrated. I must’ve been seeing things – the pot smoke must’ve done something to my eyes, because I saw him raise his hand, his palm hovering just beneath my jaw -

"Knock knock!" Fitz announced as he walked in, cutting the thick string of our tension. "What's going on in here, hrm?"

In a blink, Wolf backed up from me and settled on the bed. Fitz waltzed over to him and picked up the wine bottle on the bedside table.

"Oh wow, you really chugged down tonight, huh? I guess it's a good change from your usual 'glowering alone in a corner' thing." Fitz fixed his smiley eyes on me. "It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact I told you Bee was coming, would it?"

"Fuck you," Wolf shot.

"So testy!" Fitz laughed, and winked at me. "Don't take it personally - he gets that way around people he likes."

Wolf fisted the collar of Fitz's gaudy shirt and stood up all in one swift movement, but Fitz never lost his smile.

"You're starting to grate on my nerves, Fitz." Wolf growled.

"I'm so tired of seeing you mope around for the past two years. Why can't you just admit it?" Fitz motioned to me. "She reminds you of Mark, doesn't she? The army jacket, the glasses, the head-stuck-up-their-own-nerdy-ass personality. Except this time around, she’s the one who wants to make out with -"

Wolf threw the punch so fast I only heard the smack of flesh-on-flesh. Fitz's head snapped to the side, his cheek bright red, but he turned and came back swinging, the smile never leaving his face. The Blackthorn boys scrabbled over the bed, kicking and punching and blocking. Fitz even laughed, like he was having the time of his life.

I was frozen to the spot, but someone behind me called out; 'Blackthorn fight!', and the stampede up the stairs as people pushed past me to watch was deafening. Fitz put up a good fight - Wolf's lip was bleeding - but his own face was already swelling with bruises. This was for real. Wolf was furious, the fire in his eyes now a towering inferno. People cheered, but I couldn't move, my stomach feeling sick. Why were they fighting? Because of me? If I wasn’t here, would they be -

A lumbering figure pushed through the crowd like a hot knife through butter - Burn. Wolf had Fitz pinned to the wall, but Burn walked over and separated them with his massive arms as easily as a child pulling two dolls apart.

"Enough," He said. Fitz lunged for Wolf through Burn, but Burn held him back, raising his voice for the first time I'd heard. "I said, that's enough!"

The sound echoed, everyone going silent, and Fitz and Wolf went limp. Burn turned to the crowd, glowering.

"Get out."

The party-goers didn't need to be told twice, and feeling somehow guilty, I shuttled out of the room with them. Excited chattering filled the air as we made our way downstairs.

"Did you see that? Wolf fucked him up!"

"I had no idea they didn't like each other - they're like, glued together at the hip."

"Brothers fight too, dumbass. It was only a matter of time."

"I wonder what they were fighting about?"

"What if Wolf gives a red-card to his own brother? How messed up would that be?"

"For fighting him? No way - red cards are always something way worse than that. Something that's super fucked up."

I collapsed on a couch, feeling somehow comatose. Everything Wolf and Fitz said started swirling in my head, until I couldn't make sense of it anymore. I remind Wolf of Mark. Wolf's pained face when he talked about Mark - I knew that look. It was heartbreak. Were Wolf and Mark -

"There you are, Bee!"

I looked up to see Kristin standing there, arms crossed.

"Geez, I've been looking all over for you. Are you okay? I heard you were there for the Blackthorn fight."