Boys Like You(50)

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Juliana Ston e

Sure, there might have been a bit of touching— okay, I knew that most of her was as soft and sweet as her mouth— but nothing else. And I was cool with that.

Monroe was different from any girl I had ever met, and I’d be a liar if I told you I hadn’t thought about what it would be like to be with her. To hold her and look in her eyes when I was inside her.

But what we had was more than just the physical stuff.

We talked for hours about pretty much everything. Music.

Books. Family.

She told me about her brother. About the kind of kid he’d been, and for me, to be the guy she was willing to share all that stuff with was huge.

I felt like the king of the world, and for a while there, I felt like nothing could touch me. That’s what this girl did for me.

But being a king and flying high meant that the fall could be epic. And in my case, epic didn’t even come close.

It was Friday afternoon, and I’d come to town with my uncle to pick up a few things at the hardware store. We were nearly done with the gazebo but had run out of plywood trim for the base, and we needed to buy more paint.

Once we stored everything in the back of his truck, my uncle ran to the bank and I walked a block down to the convenience store to grab us a couple of Cokes.

The girl behind the counter was someone I recognized, but I couldn’t think of her name. Candy…Candace maybe? She was 206

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a year behind me in school, and I tried not to stare as she tugged her top down so that her boobs were nearly falling out. It was kinda hard not to. They were massive.

“Hey, Nathan. How’s your summer going? I mean, I know it’s probably hard and everything…and…”

I shrugged. “It’s going.”

I tossed a pack of gum on the counter to go along with my Cokes.

“I heard you and Rachel broke up.”

I nodded but didn’t answer. I didn’t know the girl, not really, and it’s not like we’d ever had a conversation before, so why the hell was she chatting me up about Rachel?

“I hear Trevor’s the same. Not really improving. That’s gotta be weird, you know? It’s almost like he’s stuck or something.”

Annoyed, I ran my hand through my hair and rolled my shoulders. “I really don’t know.”

And it’s none of your business.

The bell jingled behind me so I knew I wasn’t the only one in the store anymore. I cleared my throat, a “let’s get the freaking show on the road” kind of sound, but this girl was dense.

She rang up my order. “So, are you and Mrs. Blackwell’s granddaughter like, you know, dating?”

Jesus. I handed over a five dollar bill. I gave a non-committal nod that she could take whatever way she wanted. Was she ever going to shut up?

“That’s gotta suck,” she said.

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My head shot up, not really understanding her angle or her need to talk about my social life. “Why the hell do you care?” I said sharply.

Surprise widened her eyes and she stammered like an idiot.

“You know, uh, because she doesn’t live around here. I mean, she’s going back to wherever it is she’s from, isn’t she? New York, I think someone said? And well, if you guys are together, then you won’t really be together anymore and…”

Right.

“Thanks for pointing that out.”

It’s not like I hadn’t thought about it every damn night for at least a week. Monroe’s parents were coming in a few days and then…well, then she was going home and I had no idea how I was going to survive without her.

Pissed off, I grabbed my stuff from the counter and turned around without answering.

I turned around and nearly ran over Trevor’s mom.

Holy. Shit. I wasn’t ready for this.

She was even thinner than when I’d seen her at the hospital, and trust me, Trevor’s mom was already skinny; she didn’t need to lose weight. The purple dress she wore looked like it was two sizes too big.

Her eyes were sunken, kind of like the skin around them was too thin and bruised, and I looked away because there’s no way I could look into them. Jesus, it felt like someone had just punched me in the gut.

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I couldn’t see her pain. Not now.

My chest made this weird whooshing sound, like air had just been let out of a tire.

I think my heart stopped. Or maybe it was just the weird sensation of my stomach rolling end over end before falling all the way to the floor.

My fingertips started to tingle, and black dots flickered before my eyes.

“Nate, you don’t look so good.” Brenda Lewis watched me closely, her thin lips trembling, her hands running up and down her thighs nervously.

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t say a damn thing, because my tongue was stuck at the back of my throat and those spots flickering in front of my eyes made it hard to concentrate.

“Shit,” I said, shaking my head to try and stop the roaring in my ears. What the hell was wrong with me? “I’m sorry,” I managed to say, though I wasn’t sure she heard me. Or maybe the words had only echoed inside my head.