A Thief of Nightshade(31)

She hugged her arms across her chest and willed back the nausea that crept up on her in small, slow waves.

“That’s why you didn’t want me to ask your father permission to marry you ...

why you reacted that way when I said what I did to the kids.”

She didn’t realize how hard she was shaking until he pressed her to him. After a long silence, she said aloud the secret she’d been harboring for nearly two decades.

“Grant

was

finishing

up

his

doctorate. He came home for his residency and noticed that I wasn’t eating right, had lost weight and was running a fever. When he asked what was wrong with me, Father lied and he knew it. Grant asked me in private and I couldn’t lie to him. I tried to, but I couldn’t. The look in his eyes ... he already knew and I ... God, I didn’t want him to know. I hated to hurt Grant. Telling him what had really happened changed him.” Her breath hitched and it took her a moment to regain her voice. “He confronted my father and agreed not to report him under the condition that I, along with Brooke and Harry, went to boarding school; said that is was in everyone’s best interests. The family name had more worth than the mud it would be dragged through if the press got wind of Father’s ... indiscretions. I’m sorry, Jullian, I didn’t want you to know.”

Jullian slid one hand through her hair and held her at the nape of her neck, cupping the side of her face with the other.

She didn’t want to look at him. She didn’t want to see the same look she’d seen on Grant’s face. She didn’t want to feel like damaged goods anymore, but like so many times in the past, she couldn’t ignore the feeling of helplessness or fear that always seemed right on her heels. And death.

Every time she thought of the past, something died anew in her. Everything alive and well in her soul withered and something—something dark and ugly— took its place and held her tears at bay.

“I love you, Aubrey, unconditionally, and there isn’t anything about you that I don’t want to know.” The dragonfly’s wings shimmered, catching her attention.

Jullian placed his palm over it and it felt as though the necklace warmed to his touch. He looked up, tears in his eyes, and cleared his throat. “How Grant can still look at himself in the mirror, how he doesn’t lose sleep over this, it’s—”

“And exactly how do you know that I don’t?” Grant’s voice made them both jump. He’d come in from a side door and stood to Aubrey’s left. She turned around and watched her brother set his drink on the coffee table, his hand shaking as he brought it back to tug nervously at his collar. “Do you think that choice was easy for me?”

“It should have been,” Jullian growled. “There’s only one choice I could have made. Then again, I don’t give a damn about society or appearances or anything else you seem to value.” Jullian lowered his arm to circle Aubrey’s waist.

“Really? That’s what you think of me? That’s how you sum up everything outside of your narrow point of view?

You know, Jullian, I swear there are times I question if you’re even from this planet.

Do you have any clue what a trial would have done to her, to this family? And to what end?”

Jullian let his hold on her loosen. He tilted his head slightly, his voice a near-whisper, he was so angry. “That wasn’t your decision to make ... and to what end?

Did you ever consider that perhaps more than your family reputation needed to be protected?”

Grant scoffed, “Why do you think my father never came to visit them? Why do you think Brooke never lets the children spend time alone with him? Aubrey wasn’t the only one affected by this, but it doesn’t do any good to have it continuously brought up. It’s better this way. I don’t expect someone like you to understand.”

That did it for Jullian. Usually even-tempered, always serene, he snapped. He grabbed Grant faster than Aubrey could comprehend what was happening. His fist made contact with Grant’s face with a loud, wet smack, smearing blood across his lip and cheek. Jullian held a twisted knot of Grant’s shirt in one white-knuckled hand.

“Jullian!” She came up behind them.

“Let him go, please.”

Jullian hesitantly let go of Grant.

“You don’t know the first thing about me. I understand all about your privileged upbringing and

your

self-serving

existence. You think you’ve done the right thing. You think that what’s important is what serves your family legacy, but allow me to let you in on something Grant—a legacy is only as worthy as those who carry it and you’ve placed that power in the wrong hands. You were an adult. It was your responsibility to protect her, not your family name. Instead you shoved everything under the carpet and ran like the arrogant coward that you are.”

A knock sounded at the door she and Jullian had come through. It was Brooke.

“Ya’ll all right in there? What’s going on?”

Jullian watched her brother with a bated glare as he answered.

“We’re all fine. We’ll be out shortly.” A few seconds later, Aubrey could hear Brooke’s voice coming from the far room, muffled, but no longer within earshot.

Grant wiped the blood from his mouth with his sleeve. He looked at Aubrey. “You’ve mistaken my actions for pretentiousness and it isn’t quite that simple, but if hating me gives you peace, then you have my full permission.” He stopped and wiped his mouth again with the heel of his hand; there wasn’t any blood left, but the move seemed more related to pride than cleanliness. Grant’s lower lip quivered. “There isn’t anything, anything, that I wouldn’t do for you, Brooke or Harrington. I don’t always make good decisions, but I did the best I could.”