You Had Me at Halo(5)

“I’m afraid it’s going to be necessary. But don’t look so frightened; they’re not too bad. Just a bit extreme. Now just let me have a peek on the computer and I’ll see what’s available.”

Tyrone was right: She should’ve just kept her big mouth shut. In the past Holly had been an achiever. Good marks at college? No problem. Getting accepted onto Baker Colwell’s graduate program? Easy. But dying and getting sent to heaven? Must try harder.

“Ah, well isn’t that lucky.” Dr. Hill seemed to be talking to himself. “There’s an immediate opening. It’s so much better if you don’t have to wait.”

“W-wait for what?” Holly finally dredged up the courage to ask.

“Wait to go back to earth to confront your past life of course.” Alan Hill shot her another strange look. “Miss Evans, have you read any of your rulebook?”

“You mean you’re sending me back home?”

“That’s right. Only for two days and it’s just to help you deal with your recent death. You see right now you’re still bound to the earthly plane by your issues. But as soon as they’re resolved, you’ll be more receptive to moving up through the levels.”

Holly stared at him. “This is amazing and look—I’m sorry about all the rude things I said before. I guess I was a little bit fired up, but this is beyond anything I could’ve hoped for.”

Doctor Hill looked a little bit concerned. “So you do understand what you’ve got to do?” he checked. “This isn’t just for a social visit. You need to get your issues sorted out so you can be purged.”

Holly reached over to his desk and grabbed a pad and pen. “That’s right. So let’s see...Obviously I need to find out how I died and then I need to let everyone close to me know what really happened so that they understand I loved them and would never purposely kill myself.” She looked up and grinned. “They’re my earthly issues and once I sort them out I can kiss Level One goodbye and see my parents.”

“Er yes.” He still looked a little bit surprised. “And I must say it’s nice to see so much enthusiasm. Some people aren’t quite as keen. Though since I’m almost ready to send you back, it’s probably good you’re so excited.”

“Are you kidding? This is brilliant. I still can’t believe I’ll see Todd again. Oh and this means I’ll hear his proposal.”

“Actually.” He started to cough. “The thing is—”

“Because.” Holly hardly heard him as a grin spread across her face. “I’m sure a lot will be forgiven once I get that ring on my finger. I mean wait until you see the size of the rock—I’m not just talking big, I’m talking enormous...Oh and I hope my roommates haven’t moved my stuff out of the apartment yet.”

“Miss Evans—”

“I mean, my rent’s paid up until the end of the month, so—”

“Miss Evans.”

“What?” She blinked at him in surprise. “And why are you shouting?”

“Because it’s the only way to stop you from talking.”

“Oh.” She winced. “I’m sorry. I tend to talk a lot when I’m excited.”

“Yes, but that is the thing.” Dr. Hill gnawed on his bottom lip and looked a bit uncomfortable. “You know, you really should’ve read the rulebook, because it would’ve made this a lot easier.”

“Made what a lot easier?” Holly demanded, not liking the way he was avoiding eye contact. That couldn’t be good.

“Miss Evans, you’re not going back to earth as yourself, because your human body is now officially dead.”

“That’s right,” she agreed. “I just saw myself in the coffin. That’s why you guys need to nod your head or twitch your nose to give me a new body.”

“Indeed we do,” he agreed. “When a soul dies, the human body can still function for up to two days, so when we send people back for a manual purging, we use a body where the soul has gone but the flesh hasn’t, so to speak.”

“Ew.” Holly felt her whole face wrinkle in disgust. “That’s revolting. And it means that I could go back as anyone. A tramp, an old woman, a dog...”

“Technically that’s right,” Dr. Hill said. “But on the bright side, you’ll be pleased to know it’s not that random. I’ve managed to find you a body that’s almost the same age as you, and even works for your old company. Isn’t that wonderful?”

“I don’t know.” Holly cautiously peered at him from under her lashes. “What’s her name?”

“It’s not a her. It’s a him. And his name is Vince Murphy.”

Holly’s spine stiffened. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m a girl. You can’t put me in a guy’s body. Especially not someone like him. How will I be able to find out what happened to me? Speak to Todd? Get my engagement ring? I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry.” Dr. Hill shrugged. “But that’s the best I can do for you.”

“No.” Holly folded her arms in front of her chest and shot him a mulish look. “This is ridiculous. You can’t send me back as a guy. There must be some alternative. How about more inkblots? Hypnosis? Anything.”