You Are Mine (Mine #1)(87)

Grabbing a nearby chair, he hauls it next to me and sits down. He clasps my hands in both of his. My breathing quickens. As much as I like the contact, it's unusual. What's this about?

“Serena. I think I've found a way for you to not be owned by your Father again.”

A puff of air escapes me. I don't want to think on his death. I lean back in the chair, our fingers trailing away from each other. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said.”

“You're giving me to someone else?”

“No.” His face grows stern. “Never.”

He's tarnishing me. I'm surprised he hasn't done so before now. But if it's my choice, what do I want? If his plan doesn't work, I want to be with him as long as I can, to the end. If my becoming tarnished works, I'll be like Katherine. Her life is hard and she has things easy for a tarnished. But if it will save his life, it would be worth it. And better than being back with Father.

“You can think on it. It's your choice. Stay with me or not,” he says. “If possible, I would like your answer before the ball.”

I nod. “I'll think on it.” My voice feels tiny. “If this is what was going to happen, why did you accept me in the first place? Why not leave me with Father?”

“I wasn't going to accept you. It goes against what I wanted.”

His mention of being previously engaged comes to me. That was what he wanted. It must be what he still wants. To spare his life for an Envadi girl, perfect for him. Is his previous choice still waiting back at home or will he have to find a new one?

“When I saw how your Father was treating you...” Several moments pass before he can unclench his jaw to speak. “Still, I didn't want to force you into being stuck with me. I only brought the lawman to help me keep the Chancellor title and everything that came with it. Except for you. But I'd talked to others before I came to the meeting to try and decide how to handle it.”

“Wait, why did you want the title? And what other people did you talk to about it?” Most warlocks would want it just for the power and money, but Zade's different. Why haven't I thought of it before? His work on the council, the way he keeps secrets, things he's said. Oh. He's— “You're an Envadi spy.”

The muscles in his face tighten, but he says nothing.

“It's true, isn't it? I can see it in your face.”

“You can't tell anyone.”

“Who would I tell?” Though I can't be the only one that knows. Others must have guessed.

“Your sisters. Katherine.”

Perhaps I do tell them a lot, but not this. “I know how to keep a secret. Aren't you a bit young to be a spy?”

“This is my first assignment. It wasn't even supposed to be. I was going to watch my Dad at the tournament. Help him get as far as he could and gather information. But then he got sick on the way here and I had to take his place. He and my mother aren't here because he's still sick.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

His shoulder's slump. “I don't know. I hope so.”

“You weren't supposed to be in the tournament?”

“No.”

“Then how did you do so well?”

His cheeks turn the familiar shade of pink. “I've been trained since I was little. Best in my class.”

“Probably best in more than just your class judging from how well you did at the tournament. I mean, you won against Thomas.”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to kill him, it just happened. One minute everything is fine, the next I attacked instead of blocking and he was dead. Just dead. It was only supposed to knock him out, instead I killed a man.”

I cup his cheek with my hand. His scruff scratches against my palm. My heart aches for him. “You didn't do it on purpose. I can't imagine what it must feel like, but I'm grateful you did. You've been kinder to me than he ever was.”

With a deep breath, he opens his eyes. “I'm glad for that, at least. When you finally came out to meet me, you were clearly terrified of him, though tried to hide it. Now I know that terror was justified. But then—” he shakes his head, “you looked just as terrified of me.”

“You would have been as well if your future owner was so much bigger than you, and belonged to a country everyone says is barbaric.”

“I can't do anything about my size, but I hope my barbaric ways haven't bothered you.”

Warmth grows within me. I smile at him. “Not in the least.”

His gaze pulls me. I move toward him. Is he going to kiss me again? I want him to. Breathing becomes more difficult.

The door opens. Zade's salmon-colored spell zaps away as he leans away from me. I sigh. Of course he wasn't going to kiss me.

“Are you ready to dress, sir?” Chadwick, his manservant, says.

Reality washes back over me. The ball, dresses, my sisters, and the one I want to avoid, but can't: his death. Those are the only things going on, not another kiss. I should be focusing on how to help, not kissing. I sit back in my chair and shake myself. What's wrong with me?

“I'll be up in a moment.”

“Very good sir.” He leaves, closing the door behind him.