You Are Mine (Mine #1)(52)
“I thought you would be more excited to hear,” Chancellor Zade says. “Are you unhappy?”
When I stay silent, he sits next to me. I glance at the letter he still holds.
“It's not that. I'm pleased she's coming.” But hearing about liberal punishments is too much. Chancellor Zade hasn't done much to me yet, but he could. Father obviously thinks he should. Now the Chancellor holds that power over my sister, as well.
“Are you upset over my power to punish her?”
I clench my fingers together and say nothing.
“If it is, I can assure you she'll come to no harm, just as I haven't punished you.”
I should stay silent. Bethany would be shaking her head at me right now if she was here. “Yet, you have punished me once. I'm sure you have plans for more.”
“You must be confusing me with someone else. I've never lifted hand nor hex to you.”
“You didn't have to. Punishment was delivered all the same.”
He squeezes the bridge of his nose. “Sorry if I've offended you in some way. If you don't mind me asking, how did I do it?”
“How can you forget something so cruel?”
He jumps from the bench. His words harsh. “Forgive me if I remember doing nothing cruel. Please feel free to remind me.”
“Your false congratulations over my new baby sister. Taunting me with the note of her birth and insisting I share it with Cynthia. I would have preferred the customary beating for another sister instead of your false words.”
He spins to face me, dropping his hands to the side. After a moment, he says, “You thought that was cruel?”
“Of course.” But even as I say the words, I can't help but doubt them. He looks so shocked, his face drawn, brows raised, he's earnest.
He kneels on the ground before me so we're about eye level and takes my hands. “Serena, I beg for your forgiveness. I had no idea of you being hurt by my comments. In Envado, a birth is always treasured and my mother taught me to treat those surrounded by a birth with respect.”
I stare at him, unable to comprehend his words. Could it really be? Did he truly not mean to hurt me? Does he really not mean to ever punish me or my sisters? His eyes search mine. I can't help but want to believe him. A small flame of hope lights within me.
“How do I know your words are true and not meant to set me up so the punishment is worse when delivered?”
He hangs his head. His words are barely audible. “What have they done to you?”
After a moment, he lifts his head and gives my hands a squeeze. “I doubt anything I say or do will make a difference on how you feel, but I'll give you what I can. You have my word that I will not intentionally harm you or your sisters. If I do, tell me and I'll fix it.”
His hands are so firm, but giving, wrapped around mine. I don't know if I should believe him. I nod to let him think he's getting his way. At the very least it will give me time to think on it.
With a sigh, he withdraws his hands and retakes his seat next to me. “Is that why the note bothered you?”
“Yes and no.”
“Tell me what else bothered you.”
I hesitate then say, “The note was just a reminder of where I used to be and where my sisters still are. Without me there, I don't know what's happening to them.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” I slump back. He sits without saying a word. “Is it like this in Envado?”
“I hope that my actions have been a good example of what things are like there. Here though, everything isn't just different. It's wrong.”
“Wrong how?”
He looks as if he's going to say something, but shakes his head. After a moment, he says, “It doesn't matter. I have a council meeting I should prepare for, and you probably have some arrangements to make for your sister's arrival.”
“I suppose I have.”
But neither of us move. Cynthia readied a room across from hers, in hopes that Bethany would come. There's not much else to do until she gets here. I wonder what Chancellor Zade must do in preparation for a council meeting. I watch him from beneath lowered lashes. He slouches against the bench, eyes unfocused. Whatever he does must require a lot of thought. What is he thinking about?
I watch him for a minute before building enough courage to ask, “Is it hard getting ready for a council meeting?
His eyes come into focus. “You really want to know?”
I lick my lips. He said he wouldn't punish me. Gave his word. Did he mean it? I steel myself in case he didn't. “I do.”
“Why?”
Why? It's something I've never thought of before, but all my life Father has attended council meetings. Warlocks discuss them all the time, even ones not on the council, though in general terms. Only tiny bits of clues slip out as to what goes on. I want to know more about those little hints. Know why I'm forced to marry when Father says I must. Know why my sisters and I must be punished.
I straighten my skirt. “It seems to me there's a lot more going on than I always thought, and it'd be nice to know. Perhaps attend a council meeting.” I slap a hand over my mouth. After backing as far away from him as I can, I watch for signs of delivering pain. I've never been so outspoken before.