Worth the Fall (The McKinney Brothers, #1)(68)

“Huh?”

“When he told you, how did he say it?”

“Well, he wasn’t laughing, but I remember thinking he didn’t seem surprised either. I figured the two of you had talked about it and you’d tell the rest of us when you were good and ready.”

Matt shook his head, trying to understand. “But he told me not to quit.”

“I know. I was there. But men say a lot of things when they’re dying.”

Matt had forgotten Decker was there, so unaware he’d been of anything but the man dying in his arms.

“And don’t quit what?” Decker asked. “Don’t quit the mission? Don’t quit on life? Don’t quit jacking off?”

Decker laughed and raised his bottle to the guys around the pool table, as it all swirled in Matt’s head: Teddy. What he’d meant. Abby. The kids. The guys.

“How are you at pool?”

“I’m okay,” Matt answered absently.

“Come on. Let’s go teach these boys a lesson.” Doug pushed off the bar and walked to the pool table.

Matt followed, unable to sort the jumbled pieces at the moment.

After two rounds of pool and an unknown number of drinks, even his dick was buzzing. No, wait. That was his phone. He fished it out as another round slid down the oak bar. Abby. For a second he considered not answering it, but he was a weak man when it came to her.

“Hello!” he shouted over the mayhem as somebody sloshed beer over his arm.

“I need a drink,” Rocky slurred next to his ear.

“What?” Matt had no idea what she was saying. Shit. He couldn’t hear a thing.

The chick who’d introduced herself at the pool table chose that moment to grab him from behind, almost knocking the phone from his ear. “Come on, McKinney, get off the phone and dance with me.”

There was no music in here. Wait. Maybe there was. The singing of navy songs had begun. Teddy’d loved that.

Matt shrugged the girl off as gently as he could, still making it clear he wasn’t interested. “Abby? Hey, I can’t talk right now. I can barely hear you.”

But he did hear the beep in his ear. He pulled the phone back to see the screen. Call ended. Damn it.

“Smooth move, McKinney,” Rocky said. “You really are losing your touch.”

Matt slammed his bottle on the bar. “Be right back.”

—

Abby ended the call unsure what to do or think. Her heart had warmed at the sound of Matt’s voice on the other end of the line, then instantly cooled with the loud male laughter mixed with extremely close feminine giggles. She wasn’t particularly worried about the women. Matt was too honorable for that. But when had he gotten back? She thought he was still— The cell in her hand buzzed. Matt. “Hello?”

“I’ve been calling you all day.”

“Hey.” She let out a relieved breath. “Sorry. My phone wasn’t charged. You won’t believe—”

“What? Hang on.”

Distinctively female voices were calling Matt to come back to wherever he’d been.

“I’ll be right there,” he said, obviously talking to someone else.

It got noticeably more quiet, and she started to apologize again. “I’m sorry I di—”

“We need to talk.”

There was an edge to Matt’s voice she’d never heard before. Was he angry that she hadn’t answered? Or that she’d called? A sick feeling seeped into her stomach. “Hey, you know if this isn’t a good time, I can call you back.”

“No, it’s fine. Listen, though. I’ve been thinking, and…this long distance thing…It’s not working.”

Abby froze. The beat of her heart, the blood flowing through her veins—everything stopped.

“Look, just listen to me for a second, okay?”

This is what he’d needed to talk to her about. Not that he wanted to be with her but that he didn’t.

“Abby—”

“Stop. Please.” She knew how it would go. He’d try to ease the blow, explaining how it was for the best.

“Abby?”

At least he was doing it over the phone. So much easier than looking in their eyes when they gave their reasons, their excuses. And he didn’t need to know how much he was hurting her. “I understand…You’re busy. It’s okay.”

“What’s okay? What are you talking about?”

“It’s…not working.” Her voice shook and she fought to rein it in. “I get it.”

A long silence followed before he finally spoke. “And that’s okay with you?”

The tension was thick, the silence over the phone line deafening. Don’t care. Don’t want it. If you don’t want them, they can’t hurt you. “I never asked you to come.”

“So, if I said it was over, that would be okay with you?”

Abby scrambled to reassemble the walls she’d lowered for Matt. “It would have to be, wouldn’t it?” She wouldn’t beg someone to love her, to stay with her.

Matt made a loud frustrated sound. “And God forbid you admit that you want me, that you need me?”

He sounded incredulous, like he wanted to end it but he wanted to know it bothered her. Well, he wouldn’t get both.