Worth the Fall (The McKinney Brothers, #1)(39)

Matt eased off the gas as he exited the interstate and turned toward the Naval Amphibious Base, Little Creek.

A thick forest bordered both sides of the service road he’d driven so often he could practically do so with his eyes closed. His mind wandered from the pavement in front of him. A glance at the dashboard clock told him it’d been fifteen hours since he’d seen her, touched her. He’d spent three hours trying to rationalize calling her, and now he questioned the wisdom of it. He’d told himself hearing her voice would ease him, allow him to focus on what was important.

What was important. That’s where he hit a fork.

He smiled, picturing her all flustered and surprised on the other end of his call. He wanted to see that in person. God, she felt so far away. Was far away.

But Teddy was dead. The familiar pain that had lessened in the past days flooded back. And then he’d gone and said he’d call her tomorrow. Royally stupid. He needed to let it go. He needed to take a step back, steer himself around the fog she created. He needed to think. But the farther he got from her the more his stomach cramped and the thicker the fog became.

He pulled up in front of building C and got out of his truck. Right now he needed to prove he was ready for work. Matt walked down the hallway toward his CO’s office. The door was open, as usual, and he knocked twice on the frame.

“Come in,” replied a familiar voice.

Matt entered and stood at attention in front of the man behind the desk. Lieutenant Commander Bill Crawford was a friend as well as his commanding officer.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s back.”

“Lieutenant.” Matt saluted and dropped into the metal chair across from him.

“You ready to stop being an *?”

Matt had vehemently argued the medical ruling, calling it a load of shit. More than once. “I’m ready, sir.”

“Ready to what?”

“I’m ready to stop being an *,” Matt said. “Did that just make your day?”

Bill’s face broke into a grin. “Gotta get my kicks where I can.” He stacked the papers spread on his desk. “Heard you took a little trip after I kicked you out.”

“Sir?”

“Have a nice vacation while I sat here doing paperwork?”

He had a flash of Abby’s lips after he’d kissed her. Abby’s smile. The kids’ laughter. “It was fine.”

Crawford leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers over his chest. He tapped his index fingers together in his classic thinking position.

“Is there something you wanted to ask me, sir?”

“You’re coming up on what? Twelve years as a SEAL?”

Matt didn’t answer. Bill knew exactly how long it’d been since he’d been at his side for the majority of it.

“Any thoughts on your future?”

Shit. Yeah, he had thoughts. They involved being the best damn Navy SEAL he could be, for as long as he could be. Because that’s what his friend had asked of him. What Teddy would be doing himself if he were here. “I’ve got no plans to do anything different.”

“You’d make a great trainer. You’re experienced. You’re patient.”

“Maybe when I’m old like you.”

Bill smiled at the standing joke between them, then sobered. “Matt, you’re one of the smartest men I know. The things you see tactically in a second that no one else sees all day…” He spread his hands and put them back together. “I don’t need to tell you you’re still a SEAL even if you’re not assigned to an operational team.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Becoming an officer is still on the table. You know that.”

“What are you, my f*cking career counselor?”

“No. I’m your friend, damn it. And I seem to remember you tossing around some ideas a few years back.”

Matt broke his friend’s hard gaze and looked around the office. “That was a long time ago.”

“Before Teddy Wilson died.”

Crawford had been there. Not at his side when the kill shot hit, but he’d been on the op, and Matt didn’t need any reminders. He had enough nightmares as it was. “Is there a point here?”

Bill watched him in that quiet way of his until Matt wanted to squirm. He was one second from asking if they were done—

“Go by medical, check your gear, and get some sleep. You leave at 0300.”

Matt stood, not asking what or where. He didn’t care. He was back with his team. Back to the adrenaline-laced job he loved, where he planned and executed without emotions and memories wreaking havoc. Back where the intricacies of special warfare kept his mind busy enough to block the nightmares. Much like being with Abby. But this is what he did. What he’d promised to keep doing.





Chapter 14


Abby drove through the iron gates toward the ivy-covered buildings that comprised Rawston Academy’s lower school. The kids in the backseat buzzed with the excitement of a new school year. She was low on buzz. Matt hadn’t called. Not the next day, like he’d said, or the five days after that. Out of sight, out of mind. Nothing new and not a huge surprise, but exactly why she wished he hadn’t called in the first place.

“Mom, balloons!” Gracie squealed.