Worth the Fall (The McKinney Brothers, #1)(36)

A shirt and shorts lay on top of the dresser for the ride home tomorrow. Everything else was packed. Matt’s jaw clenched. He couldn’t even stand the idea of her packing the car by herself. How on earth was he going to feel when she was alone, too far away for him to get to her if she needed him?

And this was just the beginning.

He paused in the doorway and listened to the sounds he could have gotten used to: Abby’s voice over the sound of running water. A stool scraping across the tile floor. There was a muffled “I need to spit,” then a scream. Gotta move when someone spits, he thought with a stab of regret.

Gracie bounced out of the bathroom and caught him by the legs. He limped along, dragging his foot and the girl attached all the way to her bed. He shouldn’t get her riled up at bedtime, but he couldn’t resist flying her through the air and dropping her with a bounce. Because this was it, the last tuck in.

She settled back, growing uncharacteristically quiet, her big brown eyes searching his. He swept wayward curls from her cheek and tugged lightly on her ear, wiping away the serious face and replacing it with her dimpled grin. He forced himself to smile back even as her words echoed in his mind. I wish you were my daddy.

No. He couldn’t be her daddy, because she deserved a daddy who would be there to tuck in his little girl every night.

She sat up and hugged his neck.

“You’re queezing me,” she said when his arms came around her.

“Am I?” Matt paused to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Well, I shouldn’t squeeze a ladybug. She might fly right away.” He tucked her in tight and placed a kiss on her forehead before he completely lost it.

On the other side of the room, Annie didn’t say a word, just watched him with solemn hazel eyes.

Yeah. She knew. That’s why she’d kept her distance. Smart. Keep those instincts, baby girl. Matt slid one of her braids through his hand. “Good night, princess.” He clicked off the lamp and passed Abby on his way out.

He slumped onto the couch and rested his forearms on his knees, studying the various colors of the shag carpet. At the sound of shuffling feet, he glanced up. Jack stood in front of him, wearing his favorite Spider-Man pajamas, which were two sizes too small.

“Hey, bud. Ready for bed?”

Jack also studied the very interesting carpet. “Yeah.”

Damn, I’m going to miss this kid. “Remember what I told you?”

“Yeah. Ball close, head down.”

Matt reached out and ruffled his hair. “That’s right.” He smoothed it back into place and cupped the back of the boy’s head. “And look after your mom, okay?”

“Okay,” Jack said, back to carpet studying.

“You have my number, right?”

“Yeah.”

He’d made sure Jack put it in a special pocket of his suitcase before dinner. Just in case. “You can call me anytime. I’ll always answer.”

Jack looked up, fighting to control his trembling lip. “Even when you’re being a soldier?”

The knot around his heart tightened. No. He wouldn’t always answer and Jack was smart enough to know it. “It might take me a few days, but yes. Even then.” Matt pulled him in for a hug, and when Jack gripped his neck so hard his little arms shook, he closed his eyes and fought the burn of tears.

“Jack.” Abby spoke softly from the door. “You ready for bed?”

Jack slowly released Matt’s neck and stepped back.

“Keep your head down.” Matt’s voice sounded thick and scratchy to his own ears. He stood, squeezed Jack’s shoulder, and walked to the sliding glass doors. How the hell did men do this? This wasn’t even his family and it was tearing his heart out. He stared at the dark night, replaying every minute of the past week, until he saw Abby’s reflection in the glass.

“He asleep?”

“Almost.”

Matt didn’t turn around, because when he did there would only be one thing left to say. He watched her raise her hand to touch his back then drop it to her side. So brave and independent, so capable, yet small and fragile. When he couldn’t put it off any longer, he turned to face her.

She bit her lip, seeming as much at a loss for words as he was. Her eyes flicked around the room before finding his. “Thank you for dinner.”

“You’re welcome.” He wished one of them could say something, anything, that would ease the churning he felt in his gut. She’d been wrong. There were things to say. He just didn’t know what they were. Or maybe he did and he just couldn’t say them.

“I better go. You’ve got a long drive tomorrow.”

She rubbed at the faint line on her finger. “Yeah.”

He followed her to the door. “You sure you don’t need anything taken to the car?”

“I’m sure. It’s mostly done.”

He nodded, opened the door, and they both stepped out. Was there really nothing left to say? There was something between them and they both knew it. Were they really just going to walk away from it without a word?

“Thank you. For everything. I…” She dropped her gaze to his shirt before raising her eyes back to his. “You know, I haven’t heard them laugh so much since…probably ever. It was good for them. You were good.” She smiled, a disappointing fraction of what he usually got and her eyes slid away from his. “Anyway, they were happy this week, so thank you.”