Without a Hitch(84)

She glows with pride, transforming her from beautiful into the magical goddess I know her to be.

“That is oddly specific,” John chuckles.

“You wouldn’t believe the things that happen behind the scenes at even the most exclusive weddings. The shoe and uncomfortable dress were a recent experience for me.” She winks, and I notice how John and Doreen relax around her.

“Well, you’ve most certainly found your calling, dear. Love looks good on you.”

Tilly’s fork pauses halfway to her mouth.

When I see it begin to shake, I lean forward and place a hand on her thigh. “It does, doesn’t it?” I agree and give Tilly a gentle squeeze.

“It looks good on you too, Lochlan.” John’s words cause a riot in my chest that I try to ignore as he continues speaking. “When we met last year, you were an angry, bitter young man. I don’t know if it’s time or Tilly, but if it is her, the influence she has on you is astounding.”

“Oh, no. Lochlan has always been amazing,” Tilly interrupts, always my defender. “It has nothing to do with me.”

Doesn’t it though? My inner voice screams.

“I’m sure that’s not true, my dear,” John insists.

I clear my throat more loudly than necessary. He could expose secrets I’m not ready to face with Tilly just yet. “I’m afraid he’s right.” I move my hand from her thigh to the back of her chair. “You have softened me with your magical ways.”

Her eyes crinkle at the corners, and before I can stop myself, I lean in to kiss her temple.

“Your wedding will be the event of the decade.” Doreen beams. “And just imagine how beautiful their children will be. Oh my, I’m sorry. Do you even want children? I of all people should know better than to force that question on people.”

“Yes,” Tilly says as I watch her expression change.

“Dory, they’re not even engaged yet. Don’t push. Remember how much you hated that when we were dating?”

Tilly deflates under my arm, and she won’t look at me.

“Oh, I know, but the wedding planner and the hotelier, John! Can you even imagine that event? It will be gorgeous.”

“We’ll make a great team. All the events we coordinate together will be amazing.” Tilly smiles gracefully.

I know she’s alluding to our future working relationship, but the flutter in my chest begs me to make it true personally as well. “We do make a great team,” I amend as I attempt to contain the wild thoughts invading my head.

Tilly’s head tilts as she takes me in. She’s becoming quite adept at reading me, even with a mask in place. It comforts me more than I’m ready to acknowledge.

The evening continues with my attention divided between the here and now and the what-if s. The chef quickly and gracefully managed a delicious four-course dinner at the drop of a hat. But it’s Tilly who holds court for most of the meal, regaling us with tales of bridal baddies and other odd wedding mishaps without ever being overbearing. The Rosses are drawn to her warmth, her kindness, her magic, and I wonder how I’ve ever survived these dinners without her.

Something Tilly said once rings in my ears like the buzz of a fly you can’t catch. “I need the happily ever after. I deserve the happily ever after, and I won’t settle for anything less.”

If I can’t give her the happily ever after, I’ll lose her. And what will become of me if I do? My heart weeps, and it’s the most painful thought I’ve ever had. The internal war of my past and present collide as Tilly and our companions laugh at her stories of love and lunacy.

Love and lunacy. That’s what life is. You’re either blinded by love or torn apart by lunacy. How in the hell is there no other choice?





C HAPTE R 32

TILLY

“A re you sure you’re okay?” My voice trembles and I twist my fingers together in my lap waiting for his response.

Lochlan shut down during dinner. Outwardly, he was present. He answered direct questions, he laughed halfheartedly at all the right moments, but there was darkness behind his eyes and an aloofness that told me his mind was somewhere else.

He watches the night sky for a second from the window of the town car Doreen insisted we take before turning toward me. “Yes, darling. I’m good. Everything went so much better than I could have ever expected. I do believe Ross will have a counteroffer any day now.”

“Then what’s troubling you?”

My phone rings, interrupting the moment. It’s almost eight on the West Coast, but it’s nearly eleven for everyone in my life. I dig through my large bag and pull it out to find Colton flashing on the screen.

“Shoot. It’s Colton on FaceTime. I should answer.”

“Don’t let me stop you.” He smirks.

“You have to remain silent. This”—I wave between us—“is still temporary.” Lochlan’s expression goes hard, but I cut him off. “I know it doesn’t feel that way, but nothing has changed. I can’t give up my dreams, and you can’t…well, you have your reasons, but I’m not willing to put Colton in the middle of anything or put friendships and familial relationships through undue stress for something that has an expiration date. So please…”

“I won’t say anything,” he grinds out through clenched teeth.