Without a Hitch(59)

“Then spend time with me. We can be friends.”

“Lover, even your eyes fuck me from across the room. There’s no way we can be just friends.”

My body reacts to her sassy lips, but I shake away the lust. “Help me out here, Tilly. Compromise, something.” With a start, I recognize the desperation in my own voice. I’m not sure I’ve ever been desperate for anything in my life.

“I’m Tilly now? What happened to Pepper?”

“You’re still peppery, fiery. But I don’t know. I like Tilly better. Abby didn’t fit.” I shrug off my unexpected insecurities. “I can’t explain it, and you’re stalling. Get to know me, then decide about where things go.”

“You do realize you’re basically asking me to be friends with benefits, and I’m telling you right now, I can’t do it. I fall too fast. Sleeping with you, even one more time, will cause feelings to grow, and once they start, it’s like a forest fire. I can’t control it.”

My face relaxes even as my chest constricts. I like that she’s so open with me. So honest. I could never be that way. Not even with her. It hurts. It’s also terrifying because she just put words to the chaos in my head. Feelings—big, scary ones—are taking root for her even though it should be impossible because she’s right—we don’t know each other, and I don’t do feelings.

Perhaps I should just tell her about Christine and why I need this deal so badly. But as I stare at her, I know it’s not just the deal. Yes, I want that winery. I want to make Christine’s world crumble just like she did to mine, but my need for Tilly nearly outweighs all that hate. Nearly, but not quite.

“I promise to keep my hands to myself.” There goes that desperation again.

She casts an unbelieving gaze my way. I’m not even sure I’m capable of keeping my hands off her, but I don’t admit that. “Colton will be in Vermont for the foreseeable future, correct?”

“Yes,” she draws out while staring at me like I’m trying to trick her. I’m momentarily distracted when she lifts a bite of pancake directly from the serving tray to her lips, and the ungodly amount of syrup she’s drenched it in dribbles down her chin.

I move quickly, before she can protest, before I can think better of it, and tip her head to the ceiling. Her startled gaze watches me intently as I lean down to lick the sweetness from her skin. Her throat bobs as she swallows. My thumb runs in small circles on her cheek.

She’s too damn beautiful.

“So much for keeping your hands to yourself,” she mutters.

I ignore her. “Do you have to go to Vermont as well?” My face is so close to hers that my breath causes a loose strand of hair to flutter around her cheekbones.

She shakes her head but doesn’t try to speak.

“Where will you work? Do you have to be in the office?”

“N-No,” she stutters. “I’ll be working remotely while Colton is on…on sabbatical.”

Gotcha.

“So, you can work from anywhere?”

“Yes,” she drags out, stalling for time. “But I do have a wedding in Denver next month.”

“Here is my proposal, sweet, sweet, Tilly.” Her brow raises, and I release her face. I need to step back and put some space between us so I don’t utterly fuck this up. “I want you to spend the next three weeks with me in California.”

She drops her head into her hands, and I feel her walls go up. When she lifts her face, the floor collapses beneath me. Sadness. Not just sadness, but epic, soul-crushing sadness in her expression has me dropping into the chair opposite her.

I won’t let her go. Not like this. This is not the face of the woman I…the woman I what? My mind goes blank. Fear takes hold as she shakes her head.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” Her voice is small. She stands suddenly and passes me a large bag I hadn’t even noticed.

“What’s this?”

“The shoes. I—I can’t accept them. They’re much too much.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, holding my hands up and making no effort to reach for them. I want to give this woman the world, but I can’t admit it. Christine was a master manipulator. I bought her everything her heart desired, but it was never enough. I’ve never felt so used. Rationally, I know Tilly is nothing like her, but I can’t bring myself to acknowledge the gift.

I’m a bloody fucking mess.

Confusion muddles her face, but it’s better than sadness. I’ll do just about anything to keep from seeing that desolate expression again. It terrifies me. I’ve never had reactions like this before. Not even with Christine, and she nearly destroyed me.

A tear slips free from the corner of Tilly’s eye, and my chest splinters as she flops down into her chair.

Perhaps a stronger man would look the other away. Focus on his goal. But she makes me weak. I can’t bear the sadness, the hollow feeling in my chest, or the constant fear that she’ll walk away. And it’s the only excuse I have for being the giant prick I’m about to be.

“But…”

Forcing my voice to go cold, I stand and turn away from her. I can’t be a bastard to her face. “You also confuse my words for a request. I’m not asking you to come to California with me. I’m telling you to come.” The air becomes thick with tension as I knew it would, but I cut her off before she can curse me out. “You will come with me. Spend time with me. Get to know me. Or…”