With This Heart(64)

I couldn’t argue with that.

We walked hand in hand to the Camper and then Beck drove us to the bar. I couldn’t tell if it was the heat clinging from earlier or just me, but I grabbed a glass of cold ice water as soon as we walked into the bar, trying to lessen the headache forming behind my eyes.

The bar was a casual place; mismatched tables and chairs dotted the floor. A stage was set up on one side of the room. A guy was singing softly while playing an acoustic guitar.

Beck and I propped ourselves against the bar and ordered some appetizers. It was too loud to try and have an actual conversation, so we munched on our food and Beck sipped his Fat Tire beer. I didn’t mind the crowd. In a small town like Marfa, it seemed like most of them knew each other. I people-watched until the bathroom called.

“ I’ll be back,” I murmured to Beck before sliding through chairs to the bathroom. There was a long line of girls chattering, but as I stood against the wooden paneled wall, I closed my eyes and just rested. I realized then that I never told my mom about my fever. I wet some paper towels and dabbed my forehead and neck, telling myself I was overreacting, that it was just the desert heat. After using the bathroom, I fluffed my golden waves into submission and then pushed through the crowd to find Beck. Except the sight I was greeted by made my stomach drop.

The spot I’d been sitting in for the past hour was now occupied by a much prettier girl with her head dipped low to Beck. He was smiling and nodding. Her long blond hair fell pin straight down her back, and when she threw her head back and laughed, I thought the appetizers I’d just consumed would make their second appearance on the bar’s floor.

I stood there for a moment, watching them talk animatedly to one another. It was a strange feeling. I’d never had a boyfriend, or even a boy I cared about. Before meeting Beck, I’d never experienced that tight twist in my stomach. The death grip of jealousy.


I took a deep breath and decided I had two options. I could be an adult and walk over to them and join the conversation, or I could save myself the trouble and just wander around the bar. There were back rooms that people kept meandering out of, so I figured I’d check them out.

With one final glance toward the bar, I backed up before Beck could see me and went in the opposite direction. The first archway opened up to a room where people were playing ping-pong. The next room held a pool table and a dart board.

The darts room was less crowded than the other one, so I walked in and sat down on an empty bench near the door. My head felt a little better when I rested it back against the wall.

There were two guys playing a game and then a couple of people waiting for their turn. I had no clue what the protocol was, so I relaxed on the bench and started to watch the current game, trying to forget about my fever and Beck.

It felt good to be anonymous and I didn’t mind if people thought I was weird for sitting by myself in a bar. There were enough people watching the game around me that I didn’t look like too much of a loner.

“ Are you going to play?” a voice asked to my left. I tilted my head to look up into an unfamiliar pair of bright blue eyes. They belonged to a guy standing to the side of the bench, just a few feet away. He obviously didn’t want to encroach on my space without asking.

“ Oh, you can sit if you want, and I’m not sure, maybe if no one else wants to,” I answered distractedly. The guy sat down next to me and I peered over at him from the corner of my eye. He had blond hair that fell a little longer on the top than it did on the sides. His face was handsome with stubble dotting his jaw line. When he sensed me staring at him, he turned to look at me and I smiled awkwardly before muttering, “Are you going to play?”

“ I don’t have a partner yet,” he answered with a small smile. Smooth.

So he wanted me to be his partner. I didn’t think it was a problem, so I told him I’d play him.

“ What’s your name?” he asked, peering at me gently.

“ Abby.”

He nodded and then offered his hand, “I’m Ethan.”

Ethan looked to be in his early twenties, but it was hard to tell in the bar lighting. A small part of me felt guilty for walking away from Beck, but he seemed occupied, so I’d play one game with Ethan.

The two people before us finished up their game and set the darts back into the bucket underneath the boards.

“ You ready?” Ethan asked, standing up and offering me his hand. I took it because I didn’t want to be rude, but it felt strange. Mine fit in Beck’s like a lock and key. But my hand felt awkward in Ethan’s. I tried to look back through the doorway, but Beck’s spot at the bar wasn’t in my view. I chewed on my bottom lip and then turned to follow Ethan over to the dart board.

“ I haven’t played in a while,” I muttered as I picked up three darts out of the bucket.

Ethan gave me an encouraging smile. “Well, what if we practice for a bit?” he offered.

“ Yeah, okay, that sounds good.” I tried to shake out my shoulders and relax, but it was hopeless. My head was dizzy and I felt guilty about leaving Beck.

My first three throws were beyond pitiful. Like a blind monkey pitiful. Two of the darts hit the paneled wall beyond the dart board and the one dart that did hit the board landed on the far edge.

“ Yikes!” I laughed, stepping up to retrieve my darts.

I looked back to see Ethan stifling a laugh. “I think landing them on the actual board is the goal, but you definitely get points for originality.” I smiled and scrunched my nose.