Wildfire Griffin (Fire & Rescue Shifters: Wildfire Crew #1)(41)

Wystan did not seem able to talk about anything at the moment. He’d gone a very interesting shade of red. His pale eyebrows stood out as if they’d been drawn on with chalk.

Her stomach lurched as she suddenly realized exactly what hints he might have been trying to drop. “Um. Wystan, are you making a pass at me?“

“Absolutely not!” Wystan spluttered, looking even more horrified. “I’m not—that is, I don’t—even if that sort of thing was an option for me, you’re—no. Just no.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good. Because that would be awkward. I like you a lot, but not that way. I’d hate to think that you were pining over me or something.”

“I am not pining over you,” Wystan said, emphasizing the I oddly. “But if, hypothetically speaking, someone else was…?”

“Oh no,” she said, even more dismayed. “Joe kept trying to persuade me to go bar-crawling, but I thought he meant with everyone. Was he actually trying to ask me out on a date?”

“I am exceedingly bad at this,” Wystan muttered. He cleared his throat. “Edith, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Go ahead.” It belatedly occurred to her that there were a lot of things that she didn’t want him to ask about, so she added, “I mean, as long as it’s about sex, that is.”

Wystan choked again. “Edith, I’m an Englishman. Don’t do that to me.”

“Well, why did you bring up the subject if you don’t want to talk about it?” she asked, baffled.

Wystan threw his hands in the air. “Because I’m trying to hint that if you’re attracted to someone, you should simply go ahead and tell them that directly!”

“I would,” she said, even more confused. “You thought I might have a problem being direct?”

“After this conversation, definitely not.” Wystan rubbed his eyes. “Your directness is refreshing. But it would be even more delightful if it was aimed at someone else.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Let me try to be as blunt as you, though I confess it does not at all come naturally to me.” Wystan drew in a deep breath as though steeling himself. “Edith, are you attracted to someone in the crew?”

She hesitated, but she was tired, so tired, of keeping secrets. This one was at least harmless. It couldn’t hurt to share it with someone.

“Yes.” A tiny amount of weight seemed to lift from her shoulders as she admitted it. “Actually, I am.”

He looked even more relieved than she felt. “And the reason you haven’t said anything to him is because of a certain power differential?”

She blinked at him.

Wystan sighed. “I am going to need to have a long lie down after this. Edith. Don’t you see why I told you about Tanner and Leto? Even though Tanner is Leto’s squad boss, they have a relationship. It all works fine. Nobody minds, not even Buck. You shouldn’t let your relative positions stop you from approaching…the person we’re discussing.”

Pieces finally clicked together. He thought she was intimidated by the fact Rory was squad boss. That was so far down her list of problems, she’d never even considered it before.

“It doesn’t bother me,” she said truthfully. “I mean, it’s not like he would be abusing his power over me or anything. I’m a grown woman. I can give consent.” She sighed. “I’d be enthusiastically consenting.”

Wystan was looking at her oddly, as though this conversation wasn’t going at all how he’d thought it would. “Then what’s stopping you?”

She looked down at her feet. “He doesn’t feel the same way about me.”

Wystan muttered something that she didn’t quite catch. The last few words sounded awfully like, “…strangle that idiot.”

“Sorry?” she said.

“Never mind.” Wystan massaged his forehead as if he had a headache. “Edith, have you asked him?”

She bit her lip. “You’ve just seen how bad I am at talking about these things appropriately. The last thing I want to do is offend him.”

“If we are both obliquely referring to the same someone, which I am fairly certain we are, then he definitely won’t be offended.” One eyebrow quirked. “Edith, I’ve had nearly this exact same conversation with him. Believe me, your attraction is very much mutual. He hasn’t said anything to you because he thought you might feel pressured.”

Excitement rose through her body, too powerful to contain. Her fingers rippled against her thigh. The best she could do was try to keep the motion small, so Wystan wouldn’t notice.

Wystan was Rory’s friend. They shared a cabin. If he said that Rory liked her, it must be true.

Of course, she realized with a slight lurch, that meant that Rory liked the version of her that he’d seen. The one who was quiet and smiling and still. Not her true self.

Then again, it wasn’t like she could show her true self anyway. And if it was the choice between being repressed and stressed all day long, and being repressed and stressed all day long while also spending every night having fabulously hot sex with a sinfully attractive firefighter…well, she knew which one she’d pick.