Wife Number Seven (The Compound, #1)(19)

Blood? I bled?

I managed to hold it together long enough for Lehi to walk into the small bathroom and close the door, then turn on the shower. But I couldn’t contain the bile rising in my throat after seeing the small pool of blood on the ivory sheet. I hobbled to the sink, thanking God that it was outside the bathroom, then ran the water before heaving my dinner down the drain.

I knew that I had pleased Lehi, but my body felt like it had been robbed of something sacred, and I felt a tremendous sense of loss.

Once my heaving had stopped, I rinsed my mouth with water and wiped my private areas with a washcloth, then threw it in the garbage knowing that the blood had stained it permanently.

The man and women were still groaning in the background. I couldn’t take it anymore. While the water still poured from Lehi’s shower, I found the remote. I stared at it, wondering how I could turn off the sight of the sinful people on the screen. I fumbled with it again and again until finally I found the power button and it turned off.

The silence was freeing and peaceful. When his shower had ended, Lehi joined me in kneeling at the side of the bed and saying a prayer to our Lord, thanking him for our celestial union and for the consummation that had bound us together.

When he joined me in bed, I was surprised that Lehi welcomed me to sleep beside him so that his chest warmed my back. He stroked my back with his hands, easing my muscles and the racing thoughts of my brain.

“You’re a lovely girl. Do you know that?”

Trying hard not to tremble, I mumbled, “Thank you,” and stared at the wall.

“I’m going to take very good care of you.” He kneaded my shoulder with his fingers, making me uncomfortable.

“I know.”

“Do you have any questions, you know, about what we did?”

I hesitated, unsure if I should ask what was on my mind. But that tiny little brave voice in my mind took over. “You said you’d missed me being tight, but . . . we’ve never, um . . . we’ve never done that before, so—”

“Oh.” He laughed. “All of my wives have birthed babies. They’re not as tight as they once were. It’s been a while since I’ve been intimate with a virgin. Almost three years, I think, with Aspen.”

“Oh, I see.”

“It’ll get easier for you, don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

“And next time, I’ll have a surprise for you.”

My heart raced, not sure I could handle any other surprises. Our entire encounter that evening had been shocking enough.

“Oh?” I asked, feigning interest.

“Have you ever worn makeup, Brinley?”

“You mean, on my face?”

I hadn’t, although I’d always been fascinated by the women of the outside world. Their lips so pink, all kinds of colors on their eyelids, their rosy cheeks. It had never been allowed, but I’d always been slightly envious of those women.

“No.”

“Well, I know you’ll enjoy it. I’ll buy you some when we go into town tomorrow. You can even pick your first colors.”

“All right.”

Lehi had yawned into my neck. “Time to rest. Good night.”

But I hadn’t sleep much that night. Like the movie on the screen, our encounter had played through my mind over and over again, making me wince and cry.

I was in no rush to do that again, but had somehow known it wouldn’t be long before I’d be forced to relive it. At the time, I didn’t know how many times I’d be expected to perform those acts during our stay at the motel, but I took solace from the fact that once home, he would have the opportunity to lay with the other wives, as well.

? ? ?

In the three years we’d been married, my private area had never throbbed at the thought of Lehi’s touch, or in response to it while he was touching me. Never. Not once.

But my dreams of Porter had left a pulsing that was agonizing and enticing all at the same time. When thoughts of sex with Lehi forced the throbbing to disappear, I was disappointed and left wanting.

I wanted Porter to touch me again.

But for him to touch me would be the greatest sin imaginable.

I was Lehi’s, bound to him for eternity. I could jeopardize everything I was raised to strive for—a place in the celestial kingdom with our Heavenly Father, with my husband, and with our children.

Porter Hammond knew better than anyone that the prophet could have you removed from our community in an instant. He was proof of that. I didn’t want to end up like Porter. I had to be more careful, more in control of my thoughts and dreams. And I had to stay away from him, no matter how tempted I might become when waking from a dream where his lips caressed my thighs, where his fingertips lightly touched the swell of my breasts, and where my private area throbbed with my desire for him.

I had to clear Porter Hammond from my mind. No matter how good he tasted in my dreams.



Chapter 8

“Are you sure you won’t come with me?”

I stood at Rebecca’s doorway, silently begging for her eyes to meet mine. Weeks of avoidance were making me paranoid. Rebecca spent more time with Leandra and less time with Aspen or me.

I was losing her.

“No, Leandra needs me. I’m sorry.” Rebecca closed her dresser drawer and rose to her feet. Her gaze briefly darted to mine, then she looked back at the carpet.