Wicked Need (The Wicked Horse Series Book 3)(73)

Her eyes shimmer as she smiles at me brilliantly. She inclines her head to me… a silent gesture of acceptance and pleasure over my words… and turns to race back to the house like a little girl who is having her first Christmas. I watch until she hits the porch. Her dad moves to the side to allow her to come through, and they link arms as they turn to go inside. When the door shuts, I get in the rental car and head home.





Chapter 26


Cat



It’s been a week since Rand brought my father to me. Since that amazing man went out and tracked down the missing puzzle piece in my life. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that piece until it was presented to me.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to adequately convey to Rand what that means to me.

Did to me.

The way it changed me.

Not many people can really understand my background. It’s hard to comprehend what it does to the human spirit… the belief that someone doesn’t want you. I knew my mom didn’t want me, and I only had her telling me my father abandoned me to complete my familial unit.

I told my father everything during his visit.

And I mean everything, even down to telling him about Samuel and how he used me. I didn’t give him vivid details, but I gave him enough that my dad started crying, which made me cry too. He then assured me that he wants me. That even when he didn’t know I existed, he wanted me. That was lovely, and I cried harder.

My dad then pointed out that given my history and not having the most important people to depend upon—that being parents—he said it was no wonder I accepted what Samuel wanted of me as his wife. He thought it spoke to perhaps my inherent need to be wanted, even as vile as the circumstances were. He reiterated to me something that Rand has said on more than one occasion… that I was a survivor.

The five days I had with my dad were not nearly enough. We spent every moment together, just talking endlessly. We had twenty-four years of catching up to do. While my life’s details were not easy for him to take, I reveled in hearing about his. He was a career Army man and a true hero. I apparently have amazing grandparents back in Green Bay that cannot wait to meet me. His wife, Marsha—my new stepmom, so weird to say that—is the freakin’ bomb. We’ve talked several times by phone and she’s everything that my mother was not. I also had a tentative talk on the phone with my new siblings. My brother, Jared, is fifteen and really into soccer. This was an awkward conversation because I know nothing about soccer or fifteen-year-old boys, but in the end, it was okay because he said, “I can’t wait to meet you, Cat,” and that made my day.

Now my sister, Natasha, is a spitfire at age eleven. I do know something about eleven-year-old girls so we talked about music, Snapchat, fingernail polish, and boys, not necessarily in that order, and well… mostly about boys. I did this while my dad listened in on my end of the conversation and rolled his eyes, muttering, “I don’t want to know about this stuff.”

It was a perfect five days.

I was completely reborn, and I say completely because the process started before my dad came back into my life. I realize now that process started the night Rand found me in my car and made me start believing in a better life.

And now I stand outside Rand’s apartment, wondering how I can take this last piece of my life’s puzzle and snap it into place so that my existence will be as close to perfect as a person can hope for. I wipe my hands on my skirt because they’re sweaty from nerves and take a deep breath, trying to will my heart to slow the hell down.

Rapping my knuckles against the door twice, I listen intently. I can hear him walking, hear the creaking of the floor on the other side of the door, and then he’s standing there in front of me, looking better than ever. Blond hair falling over his forehead and he pushes it back, giving me a lazy smile. He stretches his other hand out high to grab onto the doorjamb, which raises his t-shirt up slightly so I get a peek of his stomach. I can’t help it… my eyes fall and stare, and when my tongue pops out to lick my lower lip, Rand gives a husky laugh.

Cheeks red and warm, my gaze snaps back up to his. Amusement shining in his eyes, he says, “Took you long enough to come see me.”

“Well, with my dad visiting and all—”

“He flew out two days ago,” he points out to me, and this is something I know well. It’s taken me two days to get my nerve up to come see Rand after my dad left for North Carolina.

Two days where I tried to prepare the best speech ever to let him know what he means to me, and as I stand here now, I can’t remember a damn word.

It’s gone. Blank. All the pretty poetic words about what he’s done for me and the realizations I’ve come to… just… gone.

So I blurt out, “I think I love you.”

The amusement drains out of Rand’s eyes and his stare becomes very intent, his body going still.

Was that the wrong thing to say? Shit.

“I mean… what I really meant to say is—”

Rand lunges at me, hands going to either side of my face. With a tight grip, he yanks me into him. Our mouths crash together, our bodies press in tight. My entire being sighs in relief and that last piece of the puzzle snaps in with a resounding click.

Or is that my heart finally settling into place now that it finally knows what love really is?