Whispers of You (Lost & Found #1)(55)

I breathed deeply. As I let the air out, I imagined pulling on a mask. One where people wouldn’t ask me if I was okay a million times today. One where everyone would forget that I’d let shock completely take me under yesterday. As far as I could remember, there had barely been anyone in the office by the time we left. My greatest performance would have to be with Abel.

“What are you doing?”

My gaze snapped to Holt. “What do you mean?”

His finger circled the air in front of my face. “Erasing everything you’re feeling. Hiding from the world.”

Of course, he saw that. He’d always seen it all. Every single time I found myself drowning. Except the one time I needed him the most.

“Sometimes, the world doesn’t have the right to your feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re hiding. Just that some emotions are only for the people you trust most.”

A flash of pain streaked across Holt’s face. “You did that the first day I saw you.”

I didn’t look away. Not from Holt or his hurt. “I did. But I didn’t keep anything from you yesterday. You saw it all.” I’d let my walls tumble to the ground and left myself raw and exposed.

Holt’s hands framed my face. “Thank you.”

I leaned forward, brushing my lips against his. I couldn’t fight the pull to soothe Holt. It was too strong.

His forehead pressed to mine. “We should go in there.”

“I know.” But it was the last thing I wanted to do. In this moment, I wanted to hide—somewhere there were no shootings or cruelty or pain. Where everything was easy, and life always worked out.

Holt sighed as he let me go, turning off the engine and climbing out of his SUV. I reluctantly followed suit. His hand found mine the second I was out of the vehicle. I squeezed his fingers and then tried to let go. He wouldn’t release me.

“Holt,” I hissed.

He glanced down at me. “You’re not hiding us, are you?”

My jaw went slack. “No, but I don’t need anyone knowing my business either.” Because if he decided to leave, Holt wouldn’t have to face countless nosy people around town. I would.

“You’re right, it’s none of their business.” He still didn’t let go of my hand.

“Holt…”

“Not going to pretend I’m not in love with you, Wren. Missed touching you. Sometimes, I’d be walking and swear I felt your hand in mine.”

Everything inside me jerked as if I were in a car, and the driver had slammed on the brakes. It was a painful lurch that demanded attention.

“Oh.”

It was the only thing I could say.

Holt dipped his chin and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Yeah.”

He held the front door to the station for me but still didn’t let go of my hand. I didn’t try to shake it free. As we stepped inside, my skin started to itch at the feel of so many eyes on me. I did my best to ignore the sensation as Holt led us toward Lawson’s office.

Clint and Amber were talking in hushed tones as we passed. Clint’s gaze zeroed in on our joined hands. His eyes flashed, but he didn’t say a word.

My stomach churned, but maybe it was better this way. Rip the Band-Aid right off. He could find someone that actually suited him.

Holt came to a stop outside Lawson’s closed door and knocked.

“Come in.”

Holt opened the door and ushered me inside, still not letting go of my hand.

Lawson looked exhausted—stubble coating his face and dark circles rimming his eyes. But when his gaze caught on our hands, his mouth curved. He was polite enough not to say anything, though.

Nash was not.

“Holy shit.” Nash let out a hoot from the couch. “It’s a Christmas miracle in the middle of spring.”

“Nash…” Holt warned.

“What?” Nash asked with mock innocence. “I can’t be happy for my brother?”

“You are welcome to your happiness, but you are not welcome to give Wren a hard time.”

Nash’s gaze went from Holt to me, a devilish grin playing on his lips. “Little Williams, you don’t look too rested. Could someone have kept you up all—?”

Lawson threw a pen at Nash.

“Ow! That was uncalled for, big brother. I could report you to HR for an abusive work environment.”

Lawson shook his head. “Good luck with that. Morning, Wren. Holt.”

“Morning,” I said, my cheeks still fire engine red.

“We wanted to see if there were any updates,” Holt said, bringing us back to the point.

All humor fled Lawson’s face. “We don’t have much. A figure in a black hoodie, fleeing the McHenry home and heading into the woods.”

Holt glanced between Lawson and Nash. “This one’s different. The other was through a window. This is up close and personal.”

“Someone’s getting more comfortable with killing,” Nash said, shadows swirling in his eyes.

Nausea swept through me at such callous disregard for human life. “The officers were right? Mrs. McHenry didn’t make it?”

Lawson shook his head. “They called it at the scene.”

I didn’t know if that was a kindness given that Mrs. McHenry wouldn’t have had anyone left. I had to hope that she and Gretchen were together somewhere and that they were at peace, even if it was far too soon.