Whispers of You (Lost & Found #1)(48)

Redness crept up Amber’s throat. “You would protect him over me? I’ve served with you for years. I’m trying to keep the people of this town safe.”

“You need to take a break and get some perspective. I’m giving you paid time off tomorrow. Get your head on straight. If you can’t, you and I will be having another conversation altogether.”

Her cheeks puffed out as Amber struggled to get her breathing under control. Instead of saying anything, she whirled and stormed out of the office, knocking into me on her way past.

My gaze followed her as she charged through the desks and out the front door of the station. My insides twisted themselves into intricate knots. They pulsed and cramped with grief for everyone involved. Joe. Amber. The endless stream of people the shooting had marked.

As I turned back to Lawson’s office, I took him in. He leaned over his desk, his head resting on one hand as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

I stepped inside and quietly shut the door. Taking a seat, I studied the man who had been like a brother to me for my entire life. “What can I do?”

Lawson didn’t look up. “I wish there was something.”

“She’s hurting.”

“I know. But I can’t have her going out and doing something stupid just because she’s in pain.”

I made a humming noise in the back of my throat. “You’re right. And Joe doesn’t deserve this town being on his case. He’s already torn up because of how people around here treat him.”

Lawson straightened, sitting back in his chair. “If you can see that, why the hell can’t the rest of Cedar Ridge?”

I let out a long breath. “Because it’s easier to think there’s a bad guy. An outsider. Someone to look out for. But the truth is we all had a part in what those boys did.”

Lawson stared at me, not saying a word.

“They needed help, and they didn’t get it. We’re supposed to be a community. We look out for each other. People knew they weren’t getting the care they needed at home. But no one stepped in.” I swallowed hard. “I’ll never forget what they did. That terror. But it’s not as simple as two rotten apples. People made them that way.”

A muscle in Lawson’s jaw ticked. “You’re right. I’ve had some minor trouble from Joe, but nothing that would suggest this.” Lawson was quiet for a moment and then seemed to come to a conclusion. “I’m gonna have a word with him.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but Lawson held up a hand to stop me. “I’ll do it out of uniform. Invite him to dinner. Seems like he could use a friend.”

My mouth curved. “You’re a good man.”

He grunted. “Don’t go spreading that around.”

Laughter bubbled out of me. “I hate to break it to you, but the rumor’s already out.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He motioned for the papers in my hand. “Those for me?”

“Abel’s end-of-the-month reports.”

Lawson took them from me. “You’d better go tell him to take lunch. If he doesn’t get fed after paperwork, he can be a real bear.”

I winced and glanced over my shoulder to see Abel muttering to himself. “That ship might’ve already sailed.”

Lawson chuckled. “Hurry. Maybe you can turn it around.”

I did exactly what he instructed, all but running back to our cubicles. “Paperwork dropped off. Why don’t you take lunch?”

Abel eyed me suspiciously. “I packed a lunch.”

“Well, it’s a beautiful day. Why don’t you eat it outside and enjoy the sunshine while things are quiet?”

“Fine. Text me if things get busy,” he huffed.

“Will do.”

I held my breath until Abel disappeared into the break room to get his lunch. The air slowly left my lungs as I turned back to my computer screen. Abel could be prickly as a cactus when he wanted to be, but his heart was ooey-gooey goodness through and through. No crankiness could hide that from the world.

Tapping out a rhythm on my desk, I surveyed the area. There really wasn’t anything to do. We were all caught up on paperwork. No more reports needed to be filed.

My mind started to drift to last night. To the lake. To Holt. How he’d silently watched over me for the past decade. That familiar war of longing and anger took flight inside me. I never knew which one would win out on any given day. Lately, the anger was hitting hard but in short bursts, while the longing was settling somewhere deep in my bones, showing no signs of leaving.

My hand moved to the mouse, and I clicked on solitaire. Anything to distract me from that stormy sea of emotion. I moved the cards around on the screen in a half-hearted attempt to beat the computer.

The phone on my desk rang. In a split second, I’d minimized the card game and was tapping the button on my headset. “Cedar Ridge police, fire, and medical.”

“This is Calvin Dwyer at 65 Alpine Drive. I just heard two shots across the street. I think at the McHenrys’.”

My blood turned to ice. Gretchen. It was the only thing I could think for a full second. Her smiling face filled my mind. The way she had the ability to see the positive side of everything—even the hell we’d been through ten years ago.

“Hold on, Mr. Dwyer. I’m dispatching officers now. Please make sure your doors and windows are locked.”