Whispers of You (Lost & Found #1)(22)

Nash snapped the lid of the bakery box closed. “My donuts. Mine.”

“Did someone say donuts?” Jude asked as he strode up, pack slung over one shoulder.

Nash let out a pathetic moan. “Next time, I’m getting two dozen.”

I pressed my lips together to stifle my laughter. “Might want to go for three.”

Jude leaned on the half partition to my cubicle, scanning my face. “You hanging in there?”

I fought the curse that wanted to surface. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate Jude and Chris looking out for me. I did. But asking that in front of two of Holt’s brothers? Not freaking cool. The last thing I wanted was one of them telling Holt that his presence hurt me. Holt didn’t get to know that he affected me at all.

I took a large bite of the donut, speaking around the fluffy dough. “Perfect now that I’ve got this strawberry goodness.”

Nash grinned. “Donuts make everything right with the world.”

Lawson didn’t buy my act quite so easily. His eyes narrowed a fraction as he studied me. I’d tried to cover the dark circles the best I could, but I was no makeup artist. And I couldn’t do anything about the red streaks in the whites of my eyes.

So, I opted to shift my chair, turning back to my screen and willing my phone to ring. That was an awful thing to hope for. That someone was in enough distress to call nine-one-one. But that was where I was at.

Lawson cleared his throat, shifting his focus to Abel. “The team’s meeting at the trailhead. We should have enough officers left to cover incoming calls, but will you call in reinforcements if things look thin?”

Lawson and Nash served on the volunteer search and rescue team for the county with a couple of other officers. Having a law enforcement presence on the team was helpful but could leave us short-staffed.

“Will do,” Abel said.

“Let’s head out,” Lawson ordered.

Nash held his donuts out to Abel. “Guard them with your life. I’m trusting you.”

Abel snatched the box, shoving it onto his desk. “Get out of here before I toss your damn donuts in the trash.”

Nash glared at him but reluctantly followed his brother toward the parking lot.

Jude lingered, his broad frame leaning over the cubicle partition. “Sorry, Wren. I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward spot—”

“It’s okay. I just don’t want Nash and Law going back to Holt with any stories. He’ll be gone before we know it, and I’ll be fine.”

Jude’s eyes shifted to the street.

Unease trickled through me. “What?”

“Nothing. It just sounded to me like Holt might be sticking around for a bit.”

The sweet pastry in my stomach suddenly made me feel a little ill. “He might be saying that, but I doubt he’ll follow through.”

Jude leveled me with one of his patented stares. One that screamed: Don’t bullshit me. I fought the urge to squirm in my chair. “What? It’s not like he’s ever stuck around before.”

“Wren. This could be good for you both. A chance to clear the air. Then, maybe both of you can move on.”

His words were like an ice pick to the chest, each one a carefully placed blow. He didn’t mean to inflict the pain, but he had.

“I have moved on. Holt didn’t give me any other choice. And he sure as hell didn’t give me a chance to clear the air when he bolted with nothing but a half-assed letter. So, excuse me if I’m not eager to rehash how he crushed my damn heart when I needed him the most.”

I spun to face my computer screen.

“Wren—”

“I’m working, and you have some lost hikers to find.”

Jude was quiet for a moment. “Okay.”

I heard his footsteps retreat, each one shoving the guilt swirling inside me a little deeper. Jude didn’t deserve my anger. He, Chris, and the Hartleys had stayed. Were there for me through it all. Gran, too.

An ache spread in my chest as her face flashed in my mind. How she’d forced me out of bed for long walks each day when all I’d wanted was to let the covers swallow me whole. She’d never wavered, and I’d eventually started to get better. But it hadn’t changed the fact that I was walking around like some hollow half person. Because the life I’d thought would be mine, the one I wanted more than anything, had been ripped out from under me.

“Bit that boy’s head off,” Abel said, staring at his computer monitor.

“I know.”

“You’re gonna have to face him at some point. And Jude’s right about one thing. It’s time for you to move on.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at Abel. “I have moved on. I have friends. A job I love. The perfect house.”

“What about someone to share your life with?”

“I date. I just haven’t found the right person yet.” My entire body revolted at the idea. I’d told myself time and time again that it was because I’d spent so many years planning that life with Holt. But that when the right person came along, I wouldn’t feel that way.

Abel turned to face me, arching a brow. “You pick apart every man who’s ever taken you out. The ones who might be a match? You won’t even look their way.”

“What are you talking about?”