While I Was Away(37)

Adele stayed quiet for a long time. She wasn't sure how to respond. It made her feel better – having someone claim they believed her – but also made her feel worse, at the same time. It just confirmed that she had in fact been somewhere else, and now she couldn't go back.

Before her body could work up the necessary energy to cry, though, she saw a familiar face in the crowd. She groaned when it was followed by two others, and she watched as her brothers wandered over to her table.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

August ignored her, leaning over to shake hands with someone who recognized him from ESPN or CNN or whatever channel it was that covered his hockey team. River broke off and went around the table, saying hi to Zoey before stealing her beer. She laughed and slapped his wrist before playfully chewing him out. Only Ocean paid attention to his sister.

“Checking up on you,” he answered her. “Zoey told me you were coming out tonight. I think this is a bad idea.”

“I didn't ask for your opinion,” Adele snapped back.

“We're only looking out for you. We only want you to be safe,” he insisted.

“This isn't keeping me safe, Ocean. This is stalking me. I'm just gonna have a beer, then I'm gonna go home.”

“Have you been doing your physical therapy?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Have you been seeing that shrink?”

“Psychiatrist, and yes. Twice a week,” she assured him.

“What does he think of all this attitude you've got now?” Ocean asked. Demanded. That's all he did anymore. Wanted a bullet-point rundown on everything she was doing, everywhere she was going. As if he was suddenly entitled to know everything that happened to her.

I go into a coma for four months and suddenly I owe the whole world something.

“He thinks I'm clinically depressed. He also thinks I suffer from delusions, post traumatic stress, and a couple other even scarier sounding afflictions. He has a mile long list of meds he wants to put me on, and I hope I get them soon, because then maybe I can just become a zombie and not have to deal with you anymore.”

Adele was suddenly very glad her other brothers weren't paying attention. River was sensitive – he hid it well, but he really was, and her words would've caused irreparable damaged. August was a hot head, he would've yelled right back at her and created a whole scene.

Ocean, easily the least deserving person of her anger, was also the best equipped to deal with it. He was strong, and he was smart, and he loved her more than just about anyone else on the planet. She watched him while she pulled her lips between her teeth, chewing on them to help stave off her tears.

“I'm sorry,” he finally sighed, and he slid around the table so his arm was pressed against hers. “I know ... I know we're too much. It's all too much for you. And I even tell myself to leave you alone. To give you space. But you see, when you spend four months thinking you might never see your best friend again, it's hard to let them out of your sight.”

The tears couldn't be stopped then. She sniffled and snorted and wiped at her face until he handed her a cocktail napkin. She laughed at the tiny size, which made him laugh. Ocean rarely laughed, which was a pity, because it was a beautiful sound. She mopped up her tears and leaned against him.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

“Not even half as much as I missed you, kiddo,” he whispered back.

“Let's not be this way,” she breathed. “Not tonight. Let's be old us, okay? And we can just talk to each other about anything and everything.”

“I'd like that.”

“But you have to go first,” she laughed. “I was gone for too long, I don't have anything to talk about.”

“Okay,” he chuckled and rubbed at the back of his neck. “So how's life back with Charlie?”

Ah. Of course he immediately went there.

“It's fine,” she said. “And he told me about how you tried to beat him up.”

“Snitch.”

“He wasn't cheating on me, Ocean.”

“Is that what he said? Because I saw him and that -”

“We'd broken up.”

He was silent for a moment.

“Come again?”

“The night of the crash – that's why we left the party early. We'd decided to break up. I was going to tell everyone about it in the morning, but ...” she let her voice trail off. She'd never seen that next morning.

“Do you actually remember that? Or did he tell you that?” Ocean checked. She rolled her eyes.

“I remember some of it, and I'd also texted Zoey about it after it happened. It's still in my phone.”

“Jesus, why didn't he say anything to us?” he growled.

“Oh, gee, I wonder ... maybe because he figured you'd think he was lying and would beat him up?” she guessed.

“I wouldn't have -”

“You literally tried to.”

She had him there.

“I still think he should've told us.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “But he was upset, too. And scared. And he knew things were already hard enough for mom and dad, he didn't want to stress them out anymore. He's a good guy, Ocean. Not the guy for me, but a good guy, nonetheless, and you should probably apologize.”