When You're Mine (MINE #3)(24)
A laugh roared from his mouth. “I already have.”
Moving on is a simple thing,
what it leaves behind is hard.
~ Dave Mustaine
Five weeks later …
Looking out over the calm cool water, I pulled in a breath of fresh air. The smell of honeysuckle and pine tickled my nose, but the sweet smell of summer was tainted by the pain in my chest. I thought I’d already experienced the worst heartbreak of my life, but absolutely nothing compared to the pain of losing Barrett. Walking away from him had been the hardest thing I’d ever done. I think about him constantly. It’s all I ever do.
Every tear.
Every step.
Every breath.
I may have moved everything I owned down south, but I’d left my heart behind.
When I purchased my first home four months ago, it was the smartest and craziest decision I’d ever made. It was just as shocking to me as it was to Maddie, that I decided to settle down here. The A-frame style home had been built in the early seventies, with floor to ceiling windows covering the entire back side, providing a view I would never grow tired of. The sunsets and sunrises alone were worth the price I paid for this prime piece of real estate. The late afternoon sun had just begun dipping below the line of trees surrounding the massive lake, painting the southern sky and the dark water below it with every brilliant color imaginable. I powered on the dock station next to me, selecting Bartender by Lady A. I hit shuffle then went inside to swap out my tea for a glass of red. Moments like this I thought, maybe losing him wouldn’t be so bad after all. I had his memories to keep me company.
Would they ever be enough?
The inside was just as charming as the outside; open floor plan with a massive kitchen and living room. The previous owner had done some recent renovations so almost everything was new. Hardwood floors, cabinets, and appliances. I even splurged on some new furniture, donating most of my old stuff before leaving Boston. It felt good to own my own home. It felt good to take steps towards the future. But it hurt like hell to leave him behind. Walking back out onto the deck, I found my phone vibrating across the glass table.
Maddie.
“Hey, bitch?” I answered.
“What up, hooker?” She always had a way of making me smile, even when I didn’t want to.
“Oh you know, chillin’ while I listen to them ole country songs.”
She chuckled. “So you like the playlist I added, huh?”
“Girl… I love it.” In addition to helping me get settled into my new life and being the best damn friend a girl could ever ask for, Maddie had also given me a house warming gift. Two gifts actually, a vintage bottle of wine and an iPad, along with a speaker dock and every Apple accessory you could possibly think of. She’d loaded it down with a ton of my favorite songs, including a few special playlists like Girls Gone Wild where I could find songs by Katy Perry, Iggy, and Adele. Then she had an Old School playlist that had songs by greats like Otis Redding, Al Green, and a few other R&B legends. There were tons of great songs on there. But Pay the Tab had been on repeat for days. I can appreciate any genre of music, but I never really connected with country before now. Some of these songs were fun and uplifting, but some were powerful and moving, comforting me in a way I didn’t think possible.
“I thought you would. Ok, I talked Katy and Cora into comin’ with us tonight, so get your ass over here right now.”
“Meh… I don’t know. The sunset just started. Not sure I want to move from this spot. The music is good… the wine is close… and I don’t have to wait in line to go to the bathroom.”
“Look, this is ridiculous. I’ve invited you to lunch at least a dozen times, begged you over for dinner here at the house, and each time you turn me down. I love that you are workin’ your way to a new and improved you, but I need my best friend back dammit.”
Aside from the few times she stopped by to help me unpack or a quick chat on the phone, we hadn’t spent very much time face to face. The place where I’d carved out my own heart was still so raw and fresh. I had a feeling Maddie would see right through me. It was her job to seek the truth and the woman was damn good at her job. I wanted to tell her everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What can I say? I’m a work in-progress.
Aren’t we all?
“Hello?”
“I’m here.”
“Are you sure you’re ok? I know I’ve been really busy with opening up this firm and all, but anytime you need me sweetie, I’m here. You know that right?”
I swallowed past lump in my throat. “I know.”
After she told me to be there in no less than one hour, I took my time, finishing off my glass of wine. As Kiss You Tonight began to play, I watched the clouds slowly put the sun to sleep, along with all of my sweet memories.
“What time are we leaving?”
“Soon.” She twisted her wrist to look at her watch. “Holden should be home soon. We have time for a drink or two. He’s DD.”
“Wait, I thought this was girl’s night? Why is Holden DD? Katy can’t drink, why doesn’t she drive us?”
“Because Archer doesn’t want to let his pregnant fiancée out of his sight for one damn second that’s why. Katy thinks it’s sweet, and I love the man to death, but he can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. I thought Holden was possessive, but he doesn’t have shit on Archer Brooks. The only way he would let Katy come with us was if he or Holden drove. Holden is way more laid back.” The first time I met Archer Brooks was at Maddie and Holden’s wedding. The guy seemed intense as hell and I thought for sure sweet Katy had bit off far more than she could chew. But somehow, she’d managed to tame the elusive beast, and in doing so, earned herself a real good man. Even if he was a little over protective, he loved Katy fiercely, and you can’t fault a man for that.