When I'm with You (Hope Town #3)(33)

I lift up and move to cross my legs, facing my mom as she mirrors my position.

“What changed?” I ask, searching her eyes, having a hard time picturing the strong and confident man I know like that.

“Your father did.” She laughs. “Well, I think it might have been a little of my stubborn will mixed with his and his steadfast determination mixed with both our fears and endless love, but in the end, it was the same result.”

“I’m not sure I follow,” I return.

She laughs again, the sound like little bells ringing, and my heart lightens some.

“You know that your dad and I didn’t have an easy start. I was insecure and feared many things because of the way I was raised. Your father, well, he had many similar feelings, but also had some stupid, misguided beliefs that I was too good for him and he would ruin me. Silly man.”

I gasp, thinking about just how similar that sounds to Nate’s and my situation. “And … what changed?” I ask again.

“He woke up. I didn’t give up. He didn’t give up. A lot of the same, but it was just our love being too big to ever ignore.”

I look down at my nails, picking at my polish, but I don’t speak.

“And a lot of sass,” she continues.

I throw back my head and laugh, feeling lighter.

“So this isn’t about Levi, exactly, but more about you and Nate?”

I nod, still not looking up.

“Sweetheart, look at your mama.”

Instantly, I give her my eyes. She’s still smiling. “Nate’s a good boy. He has a huge heart and isn’t afraid to laugh. He’s one of those live big and live loud people. I’ve watched him grow up from a baby into the man he is today, so I can say with certainty that he is a man worthy of your love. But I can also see how Nate, being the man he is, took the youthful, innocent love of a just turned eighteen-year-old young lady and panicked. His age difference doesn’t seem like a big deal right now when you’re both in your twenties, but then, that difference was a bigger deal to a lot of people.”

“He said he would ruin me.”

“Baby.” She sighs. “Nate’s seen a lot of bad things happen to people who loved each other completely. He might have been young, but he was still around while each and every one of your father’s friends fell and fought for their love. He’s seen his sister go through terrible things for love. Watched Lee and Megan fight for what they have. If I had to guess, that boy is afraid of what could happen if he was to give in to what his heart is saying.”

I frown and think about what she’s saying. It makes sense. No one in our ‘family’ has had an easy go at falling in love, but they all took on that beautiful war and won.

“So what do I do now? How am I supposed to listen to my heart when it’s been broken to bits by the one and only man who holds the power to fix it.”

“That depends. He hurt you, and I understand it, baby, I do, but in order for you to follow your heart, you have to forgive him. You just said it yourself; he’s the only man who holds the power to fix the hurt.”

“And what if this is just a game to him? What if I am just some conquest?”

She reaches out and takes one of my fidgeting hands in her own, rubbing my knuckle with her soft thumb.

“Make him prove to you that isn’t the case. Open your heart, cracks and all, and give him a chance to validate what you feel. Don’t give up on him, even when it hurts, because you could be throwing away something truly beautiful.”

“God, that’s terrifying.”

“That’s because love is never easy, sweetheart. But it’s worth every single bump, scratch, and crack in the end. Now, sit back here and tell your mama all about this lollipop dance.”

I toss my head back and laugh.

By the end of our chat, my heart feels a little less heavy, and I know that I need to give Nate a chance. If anything, we need to sit down and talk.

But first things first—I need to break things off officially with Levi. There is no way, even if I hadn’t been thinking and working toward this moment for weeks, that I would feel good about waiting another day when it is clear we have no future.

After the heavy conversation in my bed, I pulled my mom to the kitchen and settled in to catch up with her over the lunch she had brought.

Chicken salad sandwiches, my favorite.

The rest of our early afternoon time is spent with her curled up on the couch in my studio, watching me get lost in the heartbreaking canvas I had started the day before. I was so tuned in to what I was doing that I had completely forgotten she was still there until her soft voice broke through my tunnel vision.

“Okay, sweetie, give me a hug. It makes me feel good to see that dark cloud hanging over your head starting to clear away. Promise me that the next time you need me, you’ll pick up the phone?”

I don’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her and agree.

“I love you, Mama.”

“I love you, my sweet Ember.”





MY PHONE HAS BEEN GOING off for the last few hours, annoying, but easily something I can tune out when I’ve hit that sweet spot in my painting. I hit that magic spot while my mom was still here, and I haven’t stopped since, even with the lingering hangover that still haunts my body.

More often than not, when I’ve hit that spot, not a single thing can tear my focus away. Everything is falling together like magic and the once blank canvas is now beginning to look exactly how I envisioned.