When I'm with You (Hope Town #3)(32)
“Tell me,” he says with seriousness. “When you f*cked up the first time, did you do it to protect her or because you would rather be a little punk?”
“Nice,” I grunt, finishing my second banana. “I pushed her away because not only was she way too f*cking young, but also because I wasn’t ready to see what was right in front of my face.”
“And now?”
“And now, I’m not just ready to see it, I want it more than I want my next f*cking breath.”
“Well, son, if you ask me, I think you have everything you need to know right there. We’re men, we’re going to f*ck up, but the beauty of finding that one woman meant for you is that no matter how much you f*ck up, she will always be there to help make it right. So it’s up to you to do what you can in order to right the wrong turns you made and then spend the rest of your days doing everything in your power to only make right turns.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
He laughs some more. Fucking *. “Let me make it simple for you. Find out what you want from Ember. Look in your future, picture her completely out of it, and ask yourself if you can live with that. If not, work your ass off to prove to her that no matter how badly you f*cked up, you’ll do anything to make it up to her.”
“Easier said than done.”
“It’s pretty f*cking easy when all a good woman ever really wants is the unconditional love of her man.”
I stare blindly out my front window, looking into the woods that surround my property while rolling his words around in my head. “Her dad is going to kill me.”
“Nah, he knows that would hurt his girl too much. He’ll make sure he doesn’t leave any marks that can’t be covered up.”
“Not helping,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
“Learned my lessons a long time ago, Nate. Lessons that hurt with so much vicious pain that sometimes I still feel the tug of them. But one thing I will never take for granted is that love, true love, is always worth fighting for even if you’re fighting the one person who holds the key to taking all that pain away because, in the end, love conquers all, Nate.”
“No one said anything about love, old man,” I respond without conviction because it would just be a lie. I’ve loved that girl since I lied to her face and broke her heart.
“You didn’t have to,” he softly says. “I’m here if you need me, son. It won’t be easy, but don’t give up until you’ve won.”
“Never,” I say, this time having no trouble with the conviction in my tone.
I hear the call disconnect and I drop my phone down before collapsing on the couch with a deep sigh. With one more sad look toward my crotch and tented sweats, I start to plan.
MADDI HASN’T STOPPED SMILING AT me since she called my mom and asked her to come to my house and bring lunch for us. Nikki, sensing this moment should be between a mom and her daughters, left shortly after that call.
While waiting for her to show up, I busy myself in the bathroom to brush my teeth again and go about freshening up in the attempt to feel just a little more human before I bared my soul for not just my sister, but my mother as well.
Hell, it could be worse … it could be my father too.
“Sweetie?” my mom calls into my bedroom with a soft knock on the door.
“Come on in, Mom,” I respond with a smile that only grows when she pops her blond head through the crack in my door.
You would never guess that she’s in her mid-fifties. My mom still doesn’t even look a day over forty, if that. Her blond hair doesn’t hold a single gray, and her freckled skin is wrinkle free. She’s the most beautiful woman I know.
“You okay?” she asks, walking into the room and shutting the door. I’m silently thankful for the privacy, something she clearly sees judging by her next words. “I sent your sister home, honey. Now, give me all your worries and let me make them better.”
A sob bubbles up before I can stop it, and I step into my mom’s arms. She holds me while I get it out, maneuvering us until she is leaning against my headboard and she has her loving arms wrapped around me.
Sometimes, no matter how old you are, the only thing that makes you feel like you can manage all the things spinning around you helplessly is to have your mother’s arms wrapped around you.
“Is this about Levi?” she hedges.
“No … yes. God, I have no idea how to even answer that.”
“Well,” she says and pulls back to look into my eyes. Her light brown eyes full of love and understanding. “Give me everything and we can pick it apart and figure out what needs to happen next.”
“Directions … I need directions,” I mumble through my sniffles.
Her blond brows pull in slightly and a small frown hits her lips. “Directions to what, baby?”
“How to follow my heart.” I hiccup.
Her frown disappears instantly replaced with a wide smile. “Then directions we’ll find.”
I drop back into her arms and give her everything, not leaving a single detail of it out, and when I finish, I don’t feel any less confused.
“Oh, my sweet girl. You always, even when you were a tiny baby, overthink any and every challenge placed in front of you. That is something I’m afraid you came by honestly. Your father was the same way. Overthought everything and let his fears and insecurities overrule what his heart was screaming.”