When August Ends(70)

“Yes. That’s Heather,” I said, continuing to rock the baby as I walked over to Olivia.

She held the frame in her hands. “She’s gorgeous.”

I cringed, because I knew exactly what Olivia was thinking—that I’d become smitten because of Heather’s looks and there wasn’t any substance to our relationship. I could never make her understand the connection we had, and any effort to convince her she was wrong would likely be futile. Plain and simple, she didn’t know Heather.

Olivia placed the photo back on the desk. “I hope you know what you’re doing. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” I said.

“I just think back to myself at twenty. I didn’t know my ass from my elbow.”

“She’s twenty-one—twenty-two in a few months.” I laughed under my breath because I knew that didn’t make a lick of difference in her eyes.

“Oh, excuse me,” she mocked. “Well, you know what I mean.”

“Look, I might have agreed with you before I got to know her. In fact, I believed for a very long time that there was no chance for us because of her age. But people—they’re not one size fits all.”

Olivia nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wonder if you might be better off with someone closer to our age at this point in your—”

“I’m not in love with someone closer to our age. I’m in love with her. So…”

“Love?” Olivia repeated.

Shit. I was shocked that it had come out so easily, but it had.

“Yes. I didn’t plan on this. It just happened.”

I could have gone on and on, but I didn’t want to insult Olivia by admitting I hadn’t ever experienced what I felt for Heather before.

I needed to nip this conversation in the bud.

“I was a shitty husband to you,” I told her. “I still live with a lot of guilt over that. I really did think there wasn’t any hope for me. But Heather awakened something. The future seems brighter. She could kick my ass to the curb tomorrow, and I’d still be a changed man—not that I want that to happen. I want to be with her, and I want to be the type of man she deserves. I feel like I can admit this to you now, because you’ve found the person you were meant to be with. I hope we can both be happy, Liv.”

She searched my eyes. “Just because I’m happy with Kirk doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to see you in love with someone else, you know. I’ve never seen you like this—certainly not with me—and that stings a little. But I’ll have to get over that, because ultimately, Noah, I want you to be happy, too. I mean that. I hope this isn’t infatuation on her part, because you deserve the real thing.”

“Thank you.”

She looked down at the baby, still asleep in my arms. “Well, we’d better get going. I’m gonna need to feed her soon.”

I carefully handed Sam back to her mother. “Thank you for coming by.”

“I’m glad you got to meet her. I’ll call you soon.”

She’d started to walk away when I called after her. “You’re doing a great job, Liv. Sam is really lucky you’re her mom. I’m proud of you.”

Olivia turned and gave me a wobbly smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

After she left, I thought about what she’d said. A part of me had expected things to change when Heather went away to school. In fact, I’d been bracing for it. But after nearly eight months apart, we’d grown closer. The best part of every day was our nightly phone call. I had tried to give her space, but the more I pulled back, the more she sought me out. Physical absence had somehow made our relationship even more solid. Our conversations were deeper, more intimate. I wanted her more each day and was bursting at the thought of seeing her again. I knew it had to be soon, or I was going to lose my mind. During Christmas, I’d gone to visit my mother and brother in Minnesota. Then, during her spring break, she’d gone home to visit Alice, and I’d stayed here. She’d been begging me to come to Vermont. I could have gone to visit her but had specifically stopped myself in an effort to give her the space I’d thought she needed. But I had started to think my efforts were in vain. I missed the hell out of her. It was time.

Jesus. I’d just admitted my love for Heather to my ex-wife but never to Heather herself. I’d held that in long enough. Telling her I loved her was long overdue.

It was the middle of the day, and I was pretty sure she was in class. Still, I wondered if she’d pick up if I called. The need to get this off of my chest felt urgent.

To my disappointment, the phone just kept ringing. When her voicemail picked up, I left a message.

“Hey, baby. It’s me.” Scratching my head, I said, “I, uh, guess you’re in class. Figured that would be the case but thought I’d give it a try. Anyway, I have something important I need to say to you. So when you get home, give me a call. It can’t wait till the regular time. Hope you’re having a good day. Talk to you later.”

I reached over to the framed photo of Heather.

I’m a damn lucky man.

Feeling antsy, I decided to do some much-needed food shopping since I didn’t have any work scheduled. Bonnie was due to have her babies anytime now, and in the meantime, she was eating double. I needed to replenish my supplies.