What Lovers Do(41)

I have this clawing urge to argue with him, to make some grand point about the level of inappropriateness. It’s unsettling. He’s unsettling.

He’s also fun and spontaneous. Irresistibly sexy, yet effortlessly charming. I like the version of me with him. That’s why the flowers are not okay. He can’t be perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist. And even if it did, I’m at the worst possible place in my life to receive it.

He wins. This time.

“Thank you, Shep. It’s too much, but so sweet, and you’ve brightened my Tuesday.”

“You’re welcome. Millie is meeting me at the park with the dogs tomorrow at five. How does a five-thirty doggy playdate sound?”

“It sounds like you don’t want me to meet Millie.”

He chuckles. “You’re not wrong. And uh … what did you mean when you said ‘we don’t exist?’ Are we dead? Ghosts? What did I miss?”

Biting the inside of my cheek for a second, I lean my backside against the edge of the desk. “I’ve told you my real life is complicated now. You came into it at the worst possible time, in some ways. In other ways, you’re a much needed distraction. An escape from reality. So when we’re together, I pretend it’s not real life. I wouldn’t have had sex with you in real life.”

“I see … I uh … is that a compliment? Or should I feel like you’re embarrassed of me? And did we not use a condom because you had a procedure or because you didn’t think you could get pregnant if you just pretended it wasn’t real?”

I snort. “No. I’m not that stupid. Definitely the former. And yes, it’s a compliment.”

“So sending flowers to your work was breaking the barrier?”

“Exactly.”

There’s a pause. A long pause.

Is he questioning my mental state? I can’t blame him if he is. On a scale of one to ten, my sanity, as of late, has teetered around the three to four mark.

“Okay,” he says.

Again. I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

“Okay, we’re good … or okay you think I’m out of my mind?”

“A bit of both.”

Biting back my grin, I nod several times. “So I’ll meet you at the park?”

“Hypothetically, yes.”

I laugh.

“See you at five-thirty. Gotta go, Sophie. Some of us have real work to do.”

“I have real—”

He ends the call before I finish my protest.

I stare at the flowers. They’re beautiful. For a few seconds, I allow myself to smile and feel good about his gesture.





CHAPTER NINETEEN





By the time I drive home the next day, I have a new driveway. Biting my tongue, I speed-walk past Jimmy to change my clothes, get Cersei and her gear, and practically run to the park.

It’s five-forty.

“Hey …” I say out of breath.

Shep’s in shorts and a red tee with blue sneakers, one of them propped up against the tree at his back. His arms are crossed in a standoffish pose.

“Where’s Julia and George?”

He frowns. “Millie is running late. We should just reschedule our playdate.”

“Because now I’m going to meet her? Or because you’re in a bad mood and won’t be any fun?”

“Yes.” He attempts a half smile. “All of the above.”

I let Cersei off her leash to roam the park.

Shep’s gaze roves over me in my pink jogging shorts, white midriff tee, and white sneakers. Pink-framed glasses, of course. “You look edible,” he says with an odd blend of sex appeal and anger. It almost sounds like he’s angry that I look edible, but I doubt that’s the case.

“I do, don’t I?” I give him the confident grin with the matching response that he would give me if I complimented him.

This frees a bit more of his smile. I’m making it hard for him to stay grumpy. That’s what friends are for.

“Come here.” He doesn’t move, a statue that’s frozen in place, one that can only be admired.

I don’t know why, because I know better, but I find myself taking those four steps to get to him.

Because he asked.

Because I want to.

Because I think a part of me needs this.

He drops his propped foot to the ground. Taking my hands, he pulls me into him until my cheek rests on his chest and his rests on the top of my head. Slowly … so very slowly … he exhales. It’s food to my soul, feeling so needed, so appreciated.

“Hi,” he whispers.

“Fine. Thank you.” I grin.

In the next breath, he stiffens then releases me. “She’s here.”

I step back and turn.

Shep’s feet pound the ground as he takes long strides toward the skinny blonde with fire engine red lips, tight denim capris, and really cute heels. I stay back, way back, just a stranger at the same park. No big deal.

“Sorry I’m so late.” She hands the leashes to him. “I had to drop off some products and the lady was really chatty.”

“Okay.” Shep takes the leashes and greets Julia and George with kisses and pats their bellies before unleashing them to play with Cersei by the tiny pond.