What Lovers Do(3)

I’m … speechless. Really, where does he come up with this stuff? This isn’t a divorce. It’s a breakup. It’s non-negotiable.

“I’ll give you a week.”

He chuckles. “It’s thirty days, Sophie. Call my mom if you don’t believe me.”

“Fine. I’ll call your mom in the morning and tell her we’re breaking up and you’re a week away from being homeless. Maybe she’ll come up with a seven-day plan for you instead of a thirty-day plan. But … I’m out. Come, Cersei.” I march toward the bedroom.

“Have you completely forgotten my mom has MS?”

I bite my tongue. I know his mom has MS. And no money, like her son. I lock the door behind me. “Stupid,” I whisper, pressing the palm of my hand against my head.

I’m so stupid. This is the third time I’ve ended up with a freeloader for a boyfriend. I can’t save all the snakes. It ends now … or in a week.





CHAPTER TWO





SHEP





“Julia’s been licking herself. Should we be concerned?” Millie shoos me out the door along with George and Julia. “Sorry. I have a client coming in five minutes. I don’t want to have to explain this.”

“This?” I walk backward to my car as the dogs run circles around me.

She waves her hand in the air. “You. Our arrangement …”

“I’m your ex-husband. These are our dogs. What was that? Seven words and two seconds?”

She frowns. “Just make sure you talk to the vet.”

“I brought it up to Dr. Stanley at the last visit. She said Julia’s fine; she just enjoys licking herself there. It must feel good. You used to like it too.”

“Don’t be crude, Shep.”

“Factual. Not crude.”

Truth? I’ve never hated anyone, but I might hate my ex-wife. To hide my growing detest, I humor her. Or maybe I humor myself to stay on the right side of sanity.

“Listen…” she checks her watch “…how would you feel about us getting on the same dating app?”

“I wasn’t into role-playing when we were married. What makes you think I’d want to do it now that we’re divorced?”

“Shep … just …” She sighs. “I hate when you don’t take anything seriously.”

I open the backdoor and let the dogs jump in. “Oh, I’m serious, Millie. No role-playing.”

“I don’t want to date you. I want to check out my competition in the area. And let’s be honest, you could use a date. If you reject all dating apps, you’ll never find anyone. And don’t forget, that’s how you found me.”

“I feel like you’re on to something with that statement. An aha moment?”

Once upon a time, I thought Millie was the one for me. No doubt whatsoever. We clicked. Then she did something that felt pretty unforgivable, yet I forgave her. Then she had a fucking epiphany. No-fault divorce, my ass. It was her. All her.

“You divorced me.” I scrounge a toothy grin, my grin of choice for her because I can keep my teeth gritted. “If you want me back, just ask. The answer is hell no, but just ask. I don’t need to be on a dating app to give you a hard swipe left regardless of the competition.”

“Not competition for you. I want to know what women in this area are my competition for other guys.”

“I’m not on any dating apps.” I shrug and shut the back door.

“But you could be.”

“I’m not setting up a profile on a dating app, again, as a favor to you.”

She gives me her poutiest face. To think … at one point I found it cute. “I thought we ended things amicably.”

“We did. That’s why I’m saying, ‘Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.’ I could have said, ‘Are you out of your fucking mind, bitch?’ But I didn’t because we ended things amicably.” Doubling down on my condescending, toothy grin, I get into my car. I’m perfectly capable of finding someone without the help of a dating app. Backing out of the driveway, I wave. A wave with all five fingers, not just my middle one because … “amicable.”





CHAPTER THREE





SOPHIE





Saturday morning, I sneak past Jimmy snoring and drooling on my sofa and leave him a note.

Taking Cersei for a walk. Look for a job and an apartment.

No X’s or O’s.

No smiley faces or hearts.

Not even a dash and my name.

Jimmy has six more days to get out of my house.

God … please let him be gone.

Cersei and I stop for an iced coffee before heading west. We pass Wash Your Tail, a pet wash and bakery that opened a year ago. I’ve never been inside because I’m loyal to one of my patients who owns another dog wash and pet supply store here in Scottsdale. Today, I make one exception due to the sweltering heat. Pulling Cersei toward the store, I open the door and gulp breaths of cool air before looking around.

Pet lovers and wagging tails fill the aisles of the bustling store, so I tighten my grip on Cersei’s leash as we weave our way around the displays.

“Good morning. Is there anything I can help you find? Or are you just looking around and soaking up the cool air?”