Watch Me Fall (Ross Siblings, #5)(57)
Why? Wasn’t she tired of being afraid? Wouldn’t it be a wonderful, miraculous thing to actually show what she was feeling at the precise moment she felt it? To not have to hide it, not be ashamed of it, not think it was wrong and she was the worst human being on the face of the earth for feeling it? A silent moment ticked by, desperation churned inside her, and she turned just in time to see the door click shut.
It would’ve been a mistake anyway.
Starla snuggled into bed and pulled the covers up to her ears, keeping her cell phone clutched in her hand and close to her ear in case it rang. She fell asleep almost instantly, but her nightmares were bloody.
Chapter Seventeen
Julie jumped as Starla barged in the front door, a hand fluttering to her chest. “Jesus, you scared me!”
“Sorry.”
“Where the hell have you been? It’s the cowboy DILF, right? Told you that you would—”
“I don’t have time to chat, Jules.” Starla barely threw her a glance as she made a beeline for her bedroom door, but she did notice Doug’s snoring lump-like figure on the couch with no modicum of absolute disgust. His booty call must have come to her senses and booted his ass out. If only his sister would do the same. “I’m out for a few days. I don’t know for how long.” For good would be awesome, she added silently. Maybe this stint away from normal life would be a prime time for her to explore other housing options.
“What?” Julie followed in her footsteps. Starla snatched a duffel bag from the top of her microscopic, overstuffed closet and began throwing things into it. A few pairs of jeans, a few T-shirts, and underwear. She could survive without makeup or elaborate hairstyles for a few days, so she left nonessentials. Out at the curb, she could hear Jared’s truck rumbling through their thin walls as he waited for her. “I don’t get it. What’s going on?” Julie prompted when Starla didn’t answer her.
“Like I said. I’m staying somewhere else for a few days.”
“But you’re coming back, right?”
“I guess.”
“You guess? The hell does that mean?”
“It means I might search out other options while I’m away.” Might as well tell Julie now while this was barely a blip on Starla’s emotional radar. Right now she gave less than half a shit what Julie thought.
“You can’t f*cking do that.”
She stuffed a few more shirts in. They didn’t want to go, so she stuffed harder. “Oh, I f*cking can.”
“You’re half the rent on this place. I can’t do it by myself.”
On that note, Starla stood straight and turned to face her roommate for the first time. “Tell that f*cking slug permanently attached to our couch to start fronting you half the rent. He’s been here for months, time for him to start earning his keep.” Julie’s eyes narrowed. Starla turned back to her task. “Besides that, I might be kind of jobless at the moment. For who knows how long.”
It was the first time she’d really thought about her job. They could keep Dermamania running while Brian was down, of course—they’d been doing it without him for weeks. It just didn’t seem right, and she wasn’t sure anyone would want to. He would want that, though, wouldn’t he? When he woke up to learn they’d all been slacking while he lay in the hospital recovering, he’d kick their asses when he was able.
When. When. When. Not if.
“What happened to your job?”
She didn’t feel like telling the story. Zipping her bulging bag closed with no small amount of effort, she swept her gaze around the room to see if there was anything else she needed. Phone charger, laptop… She damn sure didn’t want to have to come back here. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll let you know something soon, okay? You’ll still get my half of the rent for now, but consider this your notice.” With that, she grabbed the clothes she planned to change into and headed for their cramped, shared bathroom. She couldn’t go to the hospital wearing Jared’s stuff. While she was in there struggling into jeans and T-shirt, she heard the mattress squeak as Julie sat on the edge of her bed. Starla barely glanced at her as she came back out of the bathroom.
“This is really f*cked-up, Star.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You owe me more than this.”
“Sue me.” Starla heaved the bag strap up over her shoulder, turned and walked out of her room. Annoyingly, Julie followed her through the house as she made for the front door.
“You know I’m never going to get Doug to get a job! You know that.”
Starla stopped at the front door, her bag bumping against her hip. It felt like there were boulders in it. “Then throw the f*cker out on his ass and find someone who will, Jules! I have brothers too. Damn if I’d let them lay up in here. And you know what? None of them would need to. Because they’re productive f*cking citizens. He’s not my problem anymore. He’s yours.”
As if on cue, Doug’s head jerked up from the couch pillows almost mid-snore. “Tryin’ to f*cking sleep over here.” He punched the pillow back into shape and flopped over again.
Starla regarded his listless form coolly for a minute and looked back at Julie. “Good luck with that,” she told her, then banged her way through the front door as loudly as possible.