Watch Me Fall (Ross Siblings, #5)(56)

“That’s not what I mean at all.”

“I’m f*cking terrified!” she burst out. “Regardless of how I feel about Brian, he’s one of my best friends, and he’s in the hospital fighting for his life. And I—this was the last place I can remember where I felt safe. With you.” Tears trickled from her eyes despite all her efforts to control them. When she’d been trying to decide where to go tonight, all she could remember was the way he’d taken care of her cut the first night she’d made dinner for him and his girls. His concern and his strong, gentle hands. She’d needed that again, oh, how she’d needed it, and she hadn’t thought much beyond that basic longing.

“I’m glad,” Jared said softly. “I’m glad you came here. There’s nowhere else I would want you to go. Will you stay?”

“I can’t put you in that position. You have Ashley and Mia to think about.”

“Let me worry about that. I’ll work it out. You have enough to worry about right now.”

“It would only be temporary.”

“Of course. I know.”

“Just until they catch him.”

“If you say so.”

“As long as that’s understood.”

“Good,” he said, stepping by her and walking toward the door. “Come on. Breakfast is probably cold by now.”

She ate mechanically, drank mechanically, barely tasting a single bite. Her thoughts were a thousand miles away…or rather, six miles away, at the hospital where Brian lay. She’d told everyone there to call her the minute something changed, but still she wondered what was happening. In either their grief or their excitement, they might forget about her. Later, she would go visit, try to bury her own pain and be there for Candace, who was in much worse shape than Starla could even imagine. But now her adrenaline rush was depleted and a crash imminent. The shower and food had only made that more apparent. Even the strong black coffee Jared had made couldn’t combat it. She was sinking, and fast.

His wary gaze had remained on her the entire time she ate. “You look like you’re about to roll out of your chair,” he said now, and drained the last of his coffee.

She watched the muscles of his throat constrict as he swallowed. “You would be correct.”

Standing, he reached for her empty dishes. She would’ve helped, but she was too tired. Once he’d deposited everything in the sink, he walked over and took her hand from the tabletop. “Come on. I’ll show you where you can sleep.”

Not with him. He wanted to protect her, but he was distancing himself. She didn’t even care. Starla dragged her weight from her chair, wincing as everything on her body ached. Tension had had its claws in her for so long that she hurt all over. Would she even be able to sleep? “What are you going to do today?”

“Nothing now.”

At that, she dug her heels into the living room carpet. “No way can I expect you to drop everything and babysit me. That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m not dropping everything. I’m taking the day off. It’s no big deal.”

“But…” Helplessly, she gave up. It would be useless to argue with him. He seemed pretty bullheaded, and the set of his jaw was as obstinate as ever.

“I don’t want you to be afraid or worry about anything for the next several hours. I just want you to sleep. All right? There’s plenty of stuff around here I’ve been meaning to do, and my dad isn’t going to miss me for a day or even two.”

“Okay.” Actually, she was relieved. She didn’t want to be a burden on him, but she welcomed knowing he would be around if she needed him.

Needing him was a concept she didn’t want to examine too closely right now.

He led her to a closed door at the end of the hall, opening it to reveal a tidy but obviously rarely used guest room. She turned a frown on him. “Why doesn’t one of your girls take this room?”

“They like sharing a room. Freak out if they’re separated.”

“Oh. I’d have killed to have my own room when I was a kid.” She stepped inside and glanced around. “This is great. Thanks.” It was twice as big as her bedroom at home, and the bed with its flowery comforter and fluffy pillows looked heavenly. She couldn’t wait to crawl in it.

“When you wake up,” Jared said, his hand on the doorknob as he edged his way out, “we’ll go to your house so you can pick up whatever you need. Okay?”

She hadn’t realized just how relieved she was until he said that. Not having to deal with Julie? Not having to deal with Doug? Shit, she might never go back. Might ask him if he’d charge her rent and just let her live here. She would try not to be too much of a menace and, hey, she could be a built-in babysitter. And a cook! Right.

For the first time since finding Brian in the parking lot, she allowed a tiny smile. But the immediate guilt, the audacity that she could have anything to smile about while Brian was in such pain, only made her eyes well up again. She turned away quickly and drew back the covers so Jared wouldn’t see.

Stay with me. Don’t leave me. I don’t need anything, except to feel safe again.

“Well. Sleep tight,” Jared said. She wanted to look at him, see the concern in his blue eyes all for her, but was too afraid of what her own expression might give away.