Warrior (First to Fight #1)(43)

She doesn’t say it, she doesn’t really have to, but I can tell a part of her pain was caused by me.

“I promise you this, Liv. I will always be there for him. That’s one thing that you won’t ever have to worry about again.”

“Thank you,” she says, her voice thick with emotion. “And I know I said it before but I’m sorry for not trying harder to tell you. For being a coward, basically. There was so much going on after my dad’s heart attack, then dealing with Cole’s surgeries. To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement. That doesn’t excuse it, but that’s all I’ve got.”

“Like I said, you don’t have to apologize. How about we consider this a clean start? And don’t consider this as anything other than a self-serving offer. I was a jerk to you.”

“Deal.”

Cole shifts against my chest. “When do they start talking?”

“He could start any time now. He’s mostly an observer though, so I think it could be a while,” Olivia says around a yawn. “I’ve been trying to get him to say Mom for weeks, but he hasn’t.”

“I’ll have him calling me Dad in no time.”

“Fat chance,” she says, grinning at me.

“Time for bed. I’ll put him down and then come help you up if you need it,” I tell her when Cole starts to fuss.

She sighs. “Ben, seriously, you don’t have to do all of this.”

“Complain one more time.”

“I’m just sayin’—”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Fine. If you want to be stubborn and unreasonable, you go right ahead. Sleep on the couch for all I care.”

We head upstairs where she breaks off to her bedroom and I go to the kid’s room. He murmurs as I lay him down in his crib, but settles back into sleep. I make sure the monitor by his bed is on and take the other set with me. I pull his door closed a ways and find Olivia in the master bath.

I’d dumped my shit in her closet so I go and retrieve my toothbrush and a change of clothes. She doesn’t say anything when I come back in the bathroom shirtless, but I don’t miss the way her eyes flicker over my bare chest. Shoulder to shoulder, we brush our teeth. All the while she’s trying to ignore me in the mirror which makes me want to smile. I’m such a dick for enjoying her nearness so much.

She finishes and rinses, high-tailing it out of the bathroom like she couldn’t wait to get out of there. I follow and plug my phone into the outlet beside her bed in case Logan has any updates for me. The more time that passes, the more I worry they’ll never catch the *. I won’t feel comfortable until they do.

“Do you want me to get some blankets for the couch?” Olivia asks after grabbing some clothes from her dresser. She hovers in the bathroom doorway, clutching them to her chest.

“Don’t need ‘em.”

Her brows furrow. “Are you sure? It can be chilly sometimes.”

“Not sleeping downstairs, Liv.”

Her eyes flicker to the bed. “You don’t mean you’re going to sleep with me.”

“I do and I am.” I pull back the covers and slide in. The scent of her curls around me and I can feel every muscle relax and tighten at the same time. That scent has haunted my dreams for f*cking months.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” she says timidly.

“I’m not gonna try anything. You’re in too much pain for that right now.” I let the implication that she may not be in so much pain later hang in the air.

“You would be fine on the couch.”

“I’m going to be fine right here.”

We have a little Mexican standoff as she glares at me from across the room. She huffs, spinning around to the bathroom. When she comes out in a pair of shorts that barely cover her ass and a skimpy tank top that leaves not a whole helluva lot to the imagination, I almost swallow my own tongue.

Maybe sleeping in the same bed wasn’t such a good idea.





MOVEMENT WAKES ME and I’m thankful that I’m in my own bed this time. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I see Ben beside me thrashing on the bed. His muscles are coiled beneath his skin, sweat sheens his forehead and his heart beats a visible pulse in his throat. As my nerves calm, my mind races to catch up. I don’t know what to do. I’ve heard of PTSD and the resulting nightmares, but I can’t remember if I’m supposed to touch him or wake him or what. A crying baby, I can handle, but I don’t know what to do to help the man beside me. Ben comes awake with a jerk, his eyes finding mine in the darkness.

He doesn’t say anything, he just pulls me down and fits himself against my back. Finally, I ask, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” He gasps for breath. “Just give me a few minutes.”

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if it’s smart to have him hold me like this when everything is so messed up. The only thing I do know is that I want to take his mind off of whatever horrors he just relived.

“Does that happen often?”

“Nah, not really. Talking about it yesterday must have brought back the memories is all.”

Sadness wells in my chest. Without thinking about it, my hand moves to cover his around my waist. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”