Warrior (First to Fight #1)(40)

I ease myself down, careful of the wound in the fleshy part of my waist. There hadn’t been much internal damage, just an entrance and exit wound that hurt like a bitch. The bump on my head had gone down a great deal, thankfully. The skin there had already patched together for the most part, and I’m able to cover the unsightly bald spot with the rest of my hair. The gunshot wound to my shoulder was the worst, and the sling I had to wear was decidedly uncomfortable. I would be in for a few months of physical therapy to regain full movement in my arm.

Despite all of this, every time I look at Cole, I’m grateful it hadn’t been worse.

Ben returns with a handful of stuff, which he sets on the side table. He had barely said two words to me while I was recovering unless it was related to my care or to Cole. He only left my side to fetch me contraband food or sneak in the baby. He was worse than Jack and Sofie put together, and that’s saying something.

“The ride must have put him to sleep. There was no waking him,” Ben says offhandedly.

I’m unsure how to respond. This new Ben is completely foreign to me, even more so than usual. The elephant in the room has made any interaction with him decidedly uncomfortable.

“I doubt that’ll last long.”

Ben makes a noncommittal sound as he opens a pack of gauze.

I eye it suspiciously. “What are you doing?”

“You need to change that dressing. Lie on your side for me and take off your shirt.”

Once upon a time, he said similar things to me. Soft whispers in my ear about how he wanted me to act for him. How much he liked the way I undressed for him. Things that not only lit my body on fire, but made his eyes go dark with need. Unfortunately, this is neither the time nor the place and those moments have long since passed, no matter how much my body protests to the contrary.

“I can do it, Ben. You don’t need to stay. Really.”

He doesn’t respond, merely presses against my uninjured shoulder, so I ease down on the couch. He pulls my shirt up for me, careful not to touch the bandage.

I bite my lip and keep my eyes averted as he removes the old dressing. I’d made the mistake of looking while one of the nurses changed it before and, truth be told, I could do without seeing it again. I don’t know how I’m going to manage when Ben leaves, but I’ll figure something out. If the last year had taught me anything, it’s that I’m stronger than I think.

He applies cream to the wound with the gentlest hands, and I use the distraction to study him. When he showed up at the party, I hadn’t known what to expect. How could I? I still don’t know what I’m going to do about him. After Dad died, I had hoped to keep things in their assigned boxes.

His brow furrows as he concentrates on applying the new bandage. His blonde hair has gotten longer at the top, but he still keeps it sheared short on the sides. To make matters worse, he’d grown out his beard. His strong jaw wears it well. And, from the kiss the other night, his beard is surprisingly soft. So much so that I had to resist the urge to cup his face in my hands and feel just how soft.

Ben pulls my shirt back down and stands. I cough to dispel the sudden tension that clogs the room and makes my skin run hot. He leaves the living room with my old dressing. Feeling vulnerable and oddly morose, I bundle up in an afghan and curl into a ball on my uninjured side.

I’m deep in thought when Ben comes back. He snags the remote from the TV stand and comes to the sofa. Lifting my torso, he slides in between me and the couch then rests my head on his lap.

“What do you wanna watch?”

“Erm, I thought we’d had the conversation about you not having to stay. Besides, I thought you were pissed at me. You have every right to be.”

“We didn’t have any conversation because you don’t have any say-so in the matter. And yes, I am pissed. For the time being, I’m going to be here until I’m certain that you and my son are safe. That’s the least you could do considering what you’ve put me through.”

I feel the blood drain from my face. I try to sit up so I can express my objection, but his insistent hands keep me pinned to the couch. “Ben, I’m so grateful to you for stepping up with Cole, really. I’m really happy that you want to be in his life. But like I told you before all of this happened, I don’t think we should—”

“This has nothing to do with our relationship,” he interjects. “It has to do with the fact that you were attacked twice and almost killed. If you think I’m going to leave you alone after that, you’re f*cking crazy. Until this person is incapacitated, dead, or rotting behind bars, I’m going to be here. No one, no one, f*cks with my family, and whether we are in a relationship or not, you’re blood to me. You’re my family now, and I will do everything in my power to keep you and my son safe. For the foreseeable future, that includes my staying here.”

“But—”

“No,” he says firmly. “This is nonnegotiable, Livvie. You do not realize how close I came to losing both of you. How lucky you are that the bullets only did minimal damage and the police came in time. I don’t talk about it much, but I’ve seen people not be so lucky and…” he pauses, clears his throat. “Sorry… but I won’t risk that with you. Or with Cole.”





OLIVIA SPUTTERS, BUT I put a hand over her mouth. “There’s really no use in arguing, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”