Virtuous(61)

Then he pulls my hand away. “I can’t.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“Why did you stop me?”

“I can’t take any more.”

Suddenly, I’m swamped with regret and dismay. How long can a vital, virile man like him deny his desires? How long before he loses interest in the traumatized woman who can’t give him what he needs?

“Whatever you’re thinking right now, knock it off.”

His terse tone takes me by surprise, and I try to pull away from him.

He holds me closer. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it that way. I can tell you’re putting thoughts in my head that simply aren’t there. I’m not thinking about anything other than how much I love being with you. I swear.”

“But you want more.”

“Of course I do, Natalie. You’re sweet and gorgeous and sexy and smart. I’m only human. I want you. I’ll never deny that. But I’m on your schedule here.”

“How long will you wait for me to get over my issues?”

“I don’t expect you’ll ever completely get over what happened to you. Who would?” As he speaks, he runs a finger over my cheek. “There’s no timetable. We’ve known each other a week, and I’ve loved every second I’ve gotten to spend with you. The physical stuff is only part of it. I like talking to you as much as I like kissing you. I can’t wait to introduce you to my family and to spend this weekend with you. I can’t wait for everything with you. It doesn’t matter if it takes a week, a month, a year… I’m not going anywhere for as long as you want to be with me.”

I have so many emotions swirling around inside me—and so many questions. “Could I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You told me not to believe everything I read, and I’m trying to do that.”

“But?”

“You’ve had a lot of girlfriends, women…”

“I like women. I’d never deny that either.”

“You like to have sex with women.”

“Yes.”

“A lot of sex.”

“Sometimes.”

“But not with me?”

He leans his forehead against mine, his chest hair tickling my breasts. “I hope someday you and I will have a lot of sex. I hope someday you and I will start and end each day wrapped in each other’s arms. I hope maybe someday, you’ll be able to do whatever you want with me any time you want to do it and know that you’ll always be welcome and safe in my arms, in my bed, in my life. And because I know when all that happens it’ll be extraordinary, to say the least, I’m willing to wait. For as long as it takes, I’ll wait.” He kisses me. “I’ll wait for you.”

“Flynn… How can you say that? You have no idea what a mess I am.”

“You’re not a mess. You’re beautiful, and I adore you. Something terrible happened to you, but that doesn’t define you.”

“It has. For the last eight years, it’s defined me.”

“That doesn’t mean it has to forever. There’s so much more to you than that one incident, and I’m going to help you see that. If it takes the rest of my life, you’re going to see what I see when I look at you.”

I reach up to caress his clean-shaven face. “Does it scare you to feel that way about someone?”

“It scares the hell out of me, but not for the reasons you think.” He pauses before he continues. “It scares me that you don’t feel the same way, that you’ll try to leave me rather than trusting that I’m sincere when I tell you I truly care about you and I can see my life unfolding with you by my side. I can see it.”

“I do feel the same way, and it scares me, too. How is that possible when we just met six days ago? If you had told me last Friday, I’d be on a private plane, half-naked with a guy—any guy—I would’ve said you were crazy. But now… Now it doesn’t seem so crazy.”

“No, it doesn’t. Sometimes these things just happen, Natalie. Does it make sense? Not really, but does it matter if it makes sense when it feels so good?”

“Has this happened to you before?”

“Never. Not like this.”

My heart beats faster in light of his confession.