Virtuous(28)

Hayden is right. It’s better to stop this thing with her before it gets started. But damn, it would’ve been nice.

“You need to get laid, man. Want me to set something up for you?”

“Not tonight. I’m going home.” The thought of touching any woman who isn’t Natalie makes me sick. I hope that will pass before too long, because I need sex the way other men need air.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I tell him what he wants to hear, but I know it’ll be a while before I forget about Natalie and what could’ve been if I was someone different. I take the elevator from the dungeon straight to the parking garage, and when I get in the car, I’m greeted with the lingering remnants of her scent. I take greedy breaths on the short ride home.

When the elevator opens into my apartment, I’m again assailed by her scent, and the desire for more of her nearly brings me to my knees. Then I imagine her horror and disgust if she discovers who I really am, and I know I’m doing the right thing calling a stop to it now, while I still can.

It’s only when I toss my keys on the dresser in my bedroom that I see the keycard I gave her. Any hope I had that she might seek me out evaporates in a cloud of profound disappointment and bitter regret. In that moment, I actually hate my life for the first time ever.





Chapter 6





Snuggled into bed with Fluff at my side, I’m unable to sleep as I relive every minute of the evening I spent with Flynn. Nothing about our time together was what I’d expected. He’s right—I have to stop believing everything I read about him and other celebrities. He picked me up himself, took me to his lovely but somewhat humble home where he offered me takeout and a movie.

After what I went through early in my life, I tend to view new people with an air of cynicism. I’m very rarely surprised by anyone the way I was tonight by Flynn. I was all set to bail out of our date and come home without giving him a chance. Now I’m glad I went, and I’m looking forward to seeing him again. I’ll be on pins and needles until I hear from him.

I feel silly for expecting to actually hear from him after I was so blunt about my position on sex and relationships. Maybe I should’ve held that info back for a while. But if I had, I might’ve had to fend off an unwelcome advance, and where I’m untested in dealing with such things, I’d rather not experiment with someone like him.

He was a perfect gentleman. He respected my wishes and my feelings by keeping his distance all evening. So why am I lying awake wishing he hadn’t been such a gentleman? What might it have been like to kiss him? The thought of it makes my heart beat fast and my body tingle in ways it has never tingled before.

After tossing and turning for hours, I wake with a start when Leah comes home from work. It’s after three in the morning.

“Oh my God,” she says from my doorway. “What are you doing here?”

Groggy and out of sorts from being woken so suddenly, I rub my eyes as Fluff gives off a low growl. She hates being disturbed. “Um, I live here?”

“Only you would go out with Flynn Fucking Godfrey and come home to sleep in your own bed.”

“I don’t know why this surprises you. I told you I wasn’t going to sleep with him.”

“And I told you you’re an idiot.”

“Go away. I was sleeping.”

“Well, now you’re not.” She comes in and flops down on the other side of my queen-size bed. “Tell me every single thing that happened and leave nothing out.”

“It’s three o’clock in the morning, Leah!”

“So what? You got somewhere to be tomorrow?”

As Fluff continues to growl at Leah, I stroke her ears, which calms her. I resign myself to dealing with Leah, who shows no sign of going away. I tell her about my night with Flynn, from the moment he picked me up until the moment he brought me home.

“He seriously asked you to go to the Golden Globes with him?” Her voice is so high-pitched that Fluff whimpers from the frequency.

“Yes,” I say, laughing at her reaction. “He did.”

“What did you say?”

“We left it open-ended for the moment. I said I’d think about it.”

Groaning, Leah falls to the bed and covers her face with one of my pillows. Then she lets out a scream that makes me jolt and Fluff bark. “You are freaking insane, Natalie. Insane!”