Virtuous(22)

I can’t afford unfettered abandon. I survive by being in control at all times, and right now, I’m certainly not in control of my body’s reaction to Flynn. I use the facilities and then take a moment to run my hands under cool water. I bring my cold hands to my neck and face, hoping to regain the control that’s so critical to my new life.

I can enjoy the company of a handsome, charming, interesting man and hold it together. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, it’ll actually be true. It’s probably time to go home, but I don’t want to leave yet. I don’t want this evening to be over. I just need to keep things in the proper perspective and not allow my puzzling reactions to govern my actions.

I’m in control at all times. I’ll never forget the excruciating journey that led me to this precious new life. I won’t let one handsome, charismatic man undo the hard work that allowed me to reclaim my sanity.

“Never forget,” I whisper to my reflection before I leave the bathroom to rejoin him.

“What’s the verdict?” he asks. “Movie or call it a night?”

Because he seems amenable to either option, I decide to stay awhile longer. “What do you have in the category of chick flick?”

He groans and makes me laugh with the look of agony he sends my way. “For real?”

“You asked. If it weren’t for you, I’d be home with Fluff well into a Lifetime movie by now.”

“Lifetime, huh? Wow, not sure I can compete with that.”

“Give it your best shot.”

He goes to the built-in entertainment center and opens a deep drawer that is completely full of DVDs. “Lady’s choice.”

“Do you have every movie ever made in there?”

“Only half of them. The other half is at my place in LA.”

“And you still buy the DVDs when you can stream most of these movies?”

“I like to own them. I’m a bit of a collector.”

“I see that.”

“Actually, you see a fraction of it. It’s a bit of an obsession. Film, VHS, DVD, Blu-ray. I have it all.”

“I suppose your obsession makes sense when you consider what you do for a living.”

“If that’s how you want to justify it. My sisters say I need a twelve-step program for this and my addiction to cars.”

“Better to be addicted to movies and cars than to some of the other things celebrities get hooked on.”

“See? That’s what I say, too, but they give me no quarter. Until their kids want an advance viewing of the next big movie. Then Uncle Flynn comes in awfully handy.”

“It’s not easy being you in your family, huh?”

“And you wonder why I like you so much. You feel my pain.”

I feel a lot more than his pain, and despite the talking-to I gave myself in the bathroom, I’m already spinning out of control again. It takes mere minutes in his presence to forget my vows, to be drawn in by his effortless charm and self-deprecating humor. There’s something incredibly attractive about a man who can laugh at himself, especially when the rest of the world holds him up as a deity of sorts.

Anxious for something to do with all the energy zinging around inside me, I squat for a closer look at the wide array of movies in the drawer. I home in instantly on my favorite movie of all time. Removing it from the drawer, I raise it for him to see.

His agony is immediately apparent. “Really?”

“Really. Lady’s choice and all.”

Crossing his arms and shaking his head, he says, “Well, I knew you were too good to be true. No one is perfect.”

“If you don’t like it, why do you have it?”

“It’s my mom’s favorite. My parents stay here when they’re in the city, so I keep some of their favorites on hand.”

I smile widely at him. “Your mom has excellent taste in movies.”

“If you say so. I’ll watch it on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“You have to sing all the songs to me.”

“Done.” He has no idea what he’s in for. I know every word to every song in the movie.

“Crap, I figured you’d say no way to that.”

Laughing at the disgusted face he makes, I say, “Guess you haven’t got me totally figured out yet.”

“Maybe not, but I’m definitely making headway.”