Valorous(99)

“Because. You look like a nice enough girl. And I’d hate to see him do to you what he did to me, both in private and in public.”

“It’s not because you want him back, is it?”

She snorts loudly. “I’d rather be single and celibate for the rest of my life than to spend one more minute with that man.”

“Good thing you don’t have to, then.”

“Check out the basement, Natalie. Don’t be na?ve.”

“Don’t call me again.” I hit the End button and hold the phone in my trembling hands. For long minutes, I stand in the dark living room that looks down over the glittering lights of Los Angeles. I can’t move. I can’t think or process what just happened.

Why is she doing this to me? It’s no secret that she and Flynn hate each other, so of course she doesn’t want him to be happy with his new wife. I’d be wise to forget what she said and go on with my life. But how am I supposed to do that without knowing if what she said is true?

And what if it is? What then?

“One thing at a time.” I return to the bedroom, where Flynn is still asleep. Fluff has moved into my spot, and Flynn’s hand is on her back. Tears fill my eyes at the sight of the two “people” I love best snuggled up to each other. How far we’ve all come since that day in the park.

And in all that time, has he been keeping something huge from me? Something I should’ve known before I married him and tied my life to his forever? Have I been a total fool? In hindsight, there have been signs that there’s more to my husband than what he has shown me. Things he’s said and done. “I want to f*ck you here,” he said while fingering my ass.

Later, he showed regret for his blunt language and for introducing things I wasn’t ready for. But I liked it, and he’s done it again since then. Standing there, watching him sleep, I’m so confused. I should wake him up and just ask him if what Valerie said is true. Is he into the same things Hayden is, and if so, what does that mean for us?

But how will I know if he’s being truthful? When it comes right down to it, I don’t know everything there is to know about this man I married after a whirlwind romance.

Leaving him and Fluff to sleep, I step out of the bedroom and close the door. I return to the living room where I sit in the dark for more than an hour, trying to reject what Valerie said as the words of a vindictive bitch who lost the love of an amazing man and earned his eternal scorn. I want to put all my faith in him because he’s given me no reason not to, but she was so specific, right down to where the key is located.

It becomes clear to me that I have to see for myself if it’s true before I ask him. There’ll be no peace in my mind or in my life until I know for certain. In the kitchen, I find the key right where Valerie said it would be, which is a reminder that she once lived in this house. Did she choose all the furniture? Were the dishes once hers?

“Ugh.” Focus, Natalie. One thing at a time.

The door to the basement is in the hallway. In the short amount of time I’ve spent in this house, I haven’t paid it much attention. That’s how I managed to miss the fact that there’s a dead-bolt lock on the door. I insert the key and turn the lock, which disengages with a loud click that sends my anxiety into the red zone. I’m fully aware that if I open that door and go down those stairs, I’m violating his privacy. That once I do this, it can’t be undone.

Other than my accidental foray into Hayden’s closet, I’ve never done anything even close to this before. I mind my own business. That’s who I am. But there’s a first—and second—time for everything. I flip on the light and start down the stairs, my heart beating so hard I can hear the flutter of it echoing in my ears.

My throat is tight and my mouth is dry. What will I find here, and will it change everything? I don’t have to go far to confirm that Valerie was telling the truth. “Oh my God,” I whisper. Flynn’s playroom is bigger and even more elaborate than Hayden’s. There are numerous pieces of equipment, one of them an S-shaped chaise that I didn’t see on any of the sites I visited online.

Like in Hayden’s room, ropes fall from the ceiling and a row of paddles in various sizes as well as floggers and whips hang from a pegboard on the wall. I don’t bother to cross the room to the armoire because I already know what I’ll find inside.

I’ve seen more than enough to know the truth about my husband and his true preferences. Half-expecting to find him waiting for me, I trudge up the stairs, my mind whirling as I relive every moment we’ve spent together and every sexual encounter. I’ve been blown away by our physical connection. I thought he was, too. But is he only pretending to be satisfied while wishing for so much more than his broken wife can give him?