VICTORIOUS (A Quantum Novel)(3)

After crying all the way to LAX, I get on the plane that was supposed to take Flynn and me to Mexico for our honeymoon. The security guys with me won’t hear of me flying commercially, which is just as well since my credit card is nearly maxed out anyway.

Two of Flynn’s security personnel, Josh and Seth, have insisted on accompanying me, even though I told them it’s not necessary. They tell me they’re under orders, and it’s not up to me.

Great. Since I’m apparently stuck with them, I decide to ignore their hulking presence as we prepare for takeoff. I try to stay focused on the fact that I’m going to see my sister Candace for the first time in eight years. If I think about Candace—and only Candace—I can breathe. If I allow myself to think about Flynn and the scene at his house this morning, my chest begins to ache, and all I want to do is cry.

I’ve been away from him only a few hours, and I already miss him like I haven’t seen him in a year. Still, I did the right thing. I refuse to be in a marriage that’s based on lies. He’s lied to me for weeks. He married me without telling me he’s a sexual dominant. The hard part is, I understand and even appreciate why he did it.

He was thinking of my painful past as a sexual assault survivor. He was deeply affected by the episode on our wedding night when he pinned down my hands while we were making love, triggering a flashback from the assault. I screamed and cried, and he was right there with me through it all. I love him. I love every minute I’ve gotten to spend with him, even the difficult ones.

But I can’t bear that he looked me in the eyes this morning and lied to me after I’d already uncovered the truth about his sexual desires, thanks to a heads-up from his spiteful ex-wife. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been. My heart is crying out for him, but my better judgment tells me I need this break to figure out how to deal with what I’ve learned about my husband without his overwhelming presence influencing my every thought.

Tears roll down my cheeks, and I immediately wipe them away. Though I trust the security personnel Flynn has hired, I’m wary now of what even the most consummate professionals will do for a buck. I can’t afford to be seen crying such a short time after I married Flynn. I can’t do that to him, so I struggle to maintain my composure.

I try not to think about the last time I was on an airplane with Flynn and how we made love in the private plane’s bedroom. This time, I’m sitting alone with only Fluff on my lap to keep me company.

The flight to Colorado is turbulent, and the flight attendant isn’t allowed to get up to tend to us. I can’t help but think about holding hands with Flynn on bumpy approaches into Teterboro and LAX, his nearness calming my anxiety. I have no such comfort now, so in addition to being heartbroken, I’m also petrified.

By the time we land at Fort Collins-Loveland Airport two and a half hours later, I’m a certified disaster area and in absolutely no condition to see my sister for the first time in eight years. But nothing will keep me from her now that we are finally in the same place at the same time.

Josh and Seth position themselves in front and in back of me, which makes me feel ridiculous. No one will recognize me in the airport, because they aren’t expecting to see me here. Why would they? My life with Flynn has taken place in New York and LA, not Colorado.

I’m nauseated from the rocky flight and the fact that I haven’t eaten anything since last night, not that I could have eaten even if I tried. The thought of food makes me feel worse.

Fluff is losing her mind with excitement as we get off the plane, and she pees right on the tarmac.

We walk up a flight of stairs and into the quiet airport, my heart beating faster with every step. Any moment now, I’ll see Candace, who promised to be waiting for me at the airport when I arrive. This whole thing was thrown together via a series of texts while I sobbed my way to LAX after leaving Flynn’s.

I plan to return to New York tomorrow to rejoin my life already in progress, but I can’t wait any longer to see my sister, thus the stop in Colorado. An escalator delivers us to baggage claim, and there she is. My baby sister is all grown up and gorgeous at nineteen. I forget about my heartbreak and the mess my new marriage has become and run for my sister.

She throws her arms around me, and we hold each other for a long time, both of us sobbing. My very first thought is she still wears the same perfume she favored at thirteen, and the familiar scent only enriches this long-overdue moment. By the time we pull apart, her face is blotchy and red. I can only imagine what mine must look like after weeping for hours. She’s got hazel eyes and long auburn hair, the same color mine used to be before I changed my appearance. The chubby cheeks she had the last time I saw her are long gone, replaced by the well-defined cheekbones of a grown woman. She’s stunning, and I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my life.