VALOROUS (A Quantum Novel)(86)

“What?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“Yesterday, when we were in Hayden’s room, you were naked and hard as a rock. It turned you on to be in that room with me, didn’t it?”

“Yes,” I hiss. “So what?”

“It’s too bad you couldn’t have just told me that. Now we’ll never know what might’ve been, will we?”

“You can’t leave me over this. I won’t let you!”

“You won’t let me? What’re you going to do?”

I make an effort to soften my tone so I don’t make this worse, if that’s even possible. “You’re overreacting, baby. I kept it from you because I didn’t want to scare you after everything you’ve been through.”

“And I understand that. I even appreciate it. But when I asked you straight out and you lied to me, that’s something else altogether.”

“I realize that now. I shouldn’t have done that. I swear to God, I’ve never lied to you about anything else—and I never will again. Can’t we please talk this through and figure it out together?”

She wants to. I can see that, yet I also know there’s a backbone made of steel in her that’s gotten her through worse than this.

“So many times,” I say, “I told myself I should walk away because you deserve better than me. Remember after our first date when I didn’t call you? It was because Hayden convinced me that a nice girl like you had no business getting tangled up with the likes of me. Then you texted me and asked me to see Aileen. I took one look at you that day and knew I could never walk away from you. I love you so much, Nat. I put your needs ahead of my own. That’s what this comes down to.”

Her eyes are full of unshed tears that break my heart. “I had a right to know about your needs. You should’ve told me, especially before you married me.”

“Yes, I should have. You’re absolutely right—and I was wrong. So very, very wrong. I screwed up. I’ll never deny that. But we can fix this. I know we can. We’ve already endured more than some people do in a lifetime. Please don’t give up on us, Nat. You told me the night we got married that you wouldn’t.” I take a step closer to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “You made promises to me.”

She pushes my hands away. “You lied to me! Don’t talk to me about promises, Flynn. This is why Hayden can’t bear to look at me, because he knew the truth about you—and I didn’t.”

I gather her in close to me, breathing in the scent of her hair. “You can’t leave me, Nat. You’ll ruin me.”

She begins to cry in earnest. “I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t live with someone who lies to me as easily as you did this morning, especially over something so important.”

“It’s not important! That’s what I’m trying to tell you!”

She wiggles out of my embrace, pushing me back. “If it’s not important to you, then why do you have a room full of BDSM equipment in your house? And don’t make it worse by telling me it’s not yours or some other line of bullshit.”

Before I can form a response to that, Fluff begins to bark and snarl at me the way she did when Natalie and I were first together.

“I have to go.”

“You can’t leave without security.”


“I’ll let them drive me to the airport, and then I’ll put my hair up and wear glasses. No one will recognize me.”

“Yes, they will, Natalie. You’re being na?ve.”

“I’ve been na?ve from the beginning where you’re concerned. Why stop now?” She goes into the kitchen to retrieve her purse and then returns to the foyer, where she bends to clip Fluff’s leash to her collar.

“So that’s it? Just like that it’s over?”

After a long, endless pause during which I die a thousand times, she finally looks at me. “I need some time.”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk to you.”

“I’ll give you a week, and then I’m coming after you.” As I say the words, I wonder how I’ll survive a week without her, the same week we were supposed to spend on our honeymoon.

“Don’t do that. I won’t see you until I’m ready to.”

“I’m sorry, Natalie. I f*cked this up. I freely admit that. Please don’t go. I love you so much. Please.” I have never once, in all my life, begged a woman for anything.

Until now.

“I don’t want to go, but it’s what I need right now. I will call you. When I’m ready.” With Fluff’s leash attached to one hand and her suitcase in the other, she opens the door but turns back once more. “I love you, too. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

The door closes with a click that echoes throughout the house like a gunshot.

Through the beveled glass on the side of the door, I watch her approach the security detail. I see one of them open the back door of an SUV for her. I see her and Fluff get in. Right before the door closes, Natalie wipes tears from her face. And then they’re gone. Almost as fast as they entered my life, they’ve exited it.

Motherf*cker.

I pick up a heavy crystal vase that sits on a table next to the door and throw it across the room, shattering one of the plate-glass windows in the back of the house.