VALOROUS (A Quantum Novel)(53)

I groan, loudly. “Fuck, sweetheart, you might want to think twice before you ask me such a leading question.”

“Why?” The innocence, the overpowering sweetness… She destroys me and then puts me back together every f*cking time.

“There’re a lot of ways I could have you.”

“Will you tell me about them? All of them?”

I swallow hard, summoning control that’s hard to come by right now. “We’ve got the rest of our lives to try everything once, twice if we like it. For right now, move your hair to the front so your nipples are peeking out and put your hands on your hips. Strike a pose.”

I’m hard as concrete as I snap a few photos. “Now gather your hair up with your hands and hold it over your head. Fuck, that’s sexy. Just like that. Oh my God, Nat.” I throw the phone aside and take her down with me onto the bed, our lips and tongues coming together in an urgent kiss that drives my need so deep into the red zone, I can’t think of anything other than being inside her. Right now.

Motherf*cking hell. I’m never going to survive this.





I’ve never seen him quite like this before. His kiss is so fierce, so out of control that all I can do is go along on the ride with him. His tongue is everywhere, teasing and tempting and making me want to beg for whatever comes next. I want him to touch me and take me and make me his.

I’ve never wanted anything quite like I want him inside me, right now.

“Flynn,” I gasp when he finally comes up for air.

“What, honey? Talk to me.”

It’s all I can do to breathe when he attacks my neck, finding the place that I didn’t know made me wild until he discovered it.

“I want you now.”

“I’m here.”

It hasn’t taken me long to become brave where he’s concerned, so I run my hand down the front of him and push his boxers out of the way in my quest to get to what I want. When I wrap my hand around his thick erection, he moans. I stroke him the way he taught me to, hard and tight.

“This is what I want. Make love to me. Please, Flynn. Right now.”

He literally tears the thong right off my body in a move that leaves me dazzled by the sheer power of his desire. “I don’t want to hurt you. Tell me if it hurts.”

“It won’t.” I don’t care if it does.

He takes himself in hand, rolls on a condom and drives into me in one deep thrust that makes me scream from the impact, the pleasure and the heat that come together in the place where we are joined and ripple out to every other corner of my body. I can feel him trembling from the effort it takes to remain completely still, until he’s certain I’m ready for more.

“I’ve never felt anything that’s better than this, Natalie.”

“Move, Flynn. Please…”

He doesn’t have to be told twice. Rising up to his knees, he begins slowly, thrusting deeply and then withdrawing to pound into me again, over and over.

I throw my arms over my head, seeking purchase, something to hold on to as he takes me on the wildest ride of my life.

Then he’s over me, reaching for my hands to grip them together while his other hand grasps my ass, holding me in place for his fierce possession. When I realize I can’t move my hands, or any other part of me, for that matter, a slow drumbeat of panic begins in my chest.

He’s kissing me as he makes love to me, and all of a sudden I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can’t do this. I wrench my head to the left, breaking the kiss and let out a scream as the memories come flooding back to remind me that while I might be determined to outrun my past, it always catches up to me eventually.

I fight him like a wild animal, thrashing and kicking and screaming.

He stops immediately, pulls out and lets go of me. “Natalie.”

I’m hysterical, screaming and crying and fighting the demons with everything I have inside me. In the far recesses of my mind, I hear Fluff freaking out right along with me, barking and snarling.

“Sweetheart, oh my God, it’s me, baby. Please… Natalie. It’s just me, and I love you more than anything.”

His words permeate the hysteria, and I deflate like a balloon that’s been stuck with a pin. Fluff plops down next to me, licking my face and offering her own sort of comfort.

Dear God, I just totally lost my mind while making love to my husband for the first time. The sobs shake my body, and I’m afraid to open my eyes, to see how he must be looking at this broken, damaged shell of a woman he’s shackled himself to for a lifetime.

“Natalie…” He lays his hand on my heaving abdomen.

I flinch and Fluff growls, but Flynn doesn’t remove his hand. “Sweetheart, look at me. Open your eyes.”

I shake my head. I can’t. I’ll never be able to look at him again after ruining what should’ve been the most special moment of our lives.

He replaces his hand with his lips, kissing my belly, my hipbones, between my breasts, my neck, my jaw, my face and finally my lips. Each kiss is like a bandage on the wound I carry with me. Each kiss is about love and devotion and has nothing at all to do with what happened to me so long ago.

I tell myself that, but will he ever forgive me for losing it while he was inside me? Will he ever again touch me without thinking about what might happen if he makes the slightest wrong move?