Upside Down(61)

Mrs Petrovski frowned. “I don’t know how that ends.”

I sighed. “Probably just as well.”

She leaned in. “Did he tell you he not want to see you?”

“No, I… I walked out on him,” I mumbled. “I… it was…”

“You not talk to him?”

I shook my head.

“You must talk to him. Sometimes talk is not easy, but you must. Communicate is most important!” she declared to the entire bus, her pointer finger held high.

Charles, Sandra, Becky, and Ian all nodded. “It is,” Ian said.

Jesus Christ. Was everyone on the bus invested in our relationship? Had I let all of them down too?

“Sorry if I’ve disappointed you all,” I mumbled.

“You didn’t let us down,” Charles said. “You let yourself down.”

“And Hennessy,” Mrs Petrovski added.

Oh great. Because that’s so much better.

“I’ll see what I can do to fix it,” I lied. Then I willed myself not to cry, and I ignored how everyone now frowned, so I stared out the window until it was my stop.

I got home, stripped the doona off my bed, and cocooned myself on the couch, and stared at that nowhere space between me and the TV. The room grew darker, and when I heard Angus come home, I didn’t even sit up.

His face appeared in front of me, concerned and sad. “Hey, is my Jordan Burrito alive in there?”

“Yeah.” My voice cracked.

His frown grew deeper, but he sat on the coffee table so I could see him. “This is the saddest burrito I’ve ever seen.”

“I was going for cocoon. A chrysalis, even. Just waiting to turn into something prettier before I come out.”

“Bad day?”

“The worst.” Which was totally dramatic, considering the horrors some people were living through in the world that very moment, but I was wallowing, so shut up.

“Well, I was hoping…” He twisted his hands in his lap. “Never mind. Another time.”

“You were hoping what?”

“Well, considering we did the ‘meet the friends’ thing for you, I was thinking maybe you’d like to maybe do the ‘meet the friends’ for me?”

“Your sex-couple?” I wasn’t sure what else to call them. “Is it getting serious…? I didn’t know that, sorry.” Then I felt a whole lot worse because he’d always been a good friend to me and I’d been so caught up in my own fucking world, I hadn’t thought to ask him how things were in his world.

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I’ve been a shitty friend, sorry.”

His face softened. “No you haven’t.”

To be completely honest, leaving my cocoon, leaving the couch, and leaving our apartment was the last thing on the planet I felt like doing. But this was Angus, and at the end of the day, I’d do anything for him. “You were meeting them tonight?”

“Yeah, well, we talked about it…” He seemed so unsure. He bit his bottom lip and couldn’t look at me, so it was pretty clear he was nervous about it.

“I’ll go,” I said, still not moving my burrito cocoon on the couch. “You make the arrangements, and I’ll wallow a little bit more, then we can leave.”

He smiled, relieved. “Okay, I’ll just go shower.”

“Maybe you should let them see you all covered in paint and your hair filled with plaster dust. You know, the real you.”

He laughed. “Nah. If there’s body-licking involved, I don’t wanna taste like a building site.”

I buried my face into my cocoon and mumbled through my doona. “Too much information.”

His laughter disappeared, and a moment later, I heard the shower start. I took some deep breaths and tried to fortify the resolve to at least sit up.

Small steps.

But who knew… maybe being forced out of the house and being made to socialise might do me the world of good. I’d literally spent the entire day in the basement at work, hiding away from the world, and that had been a blessing. Maybe tonight would be too.

Twenty minutes later, we hit the pavement, our breaths puffs of steam in the cold winter air. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets. “So, where are we meeting them?”

“Oh,” he replied. “Um, at the Clock Hotel.”

Right across from my work. “Well, on the bright side, Sunan’s will be open and we can get some of his mango fries, spicy beef salad, and green curry to help soak up the fuckton of alcohol I plan on drinking tonight.”

Angus laughed and it was an uneventful bus trip in. There was no Soup Crew, which I was thankful for, because I wasn’t sure I could face another lecture about my failings. The closer we got to the stop in Surry Hills, the more eager I was to get shitfaced.

As we were stepping off the bus, Angus’ phone rang. He answered it, all cheeky smiles, and grabbed my arm. “This way first,” he said. Instead of crossing the road to the pub, he was taking me toward the library. “Okay, we’ll see you soon.”

“Angus, where are we going?”

“Just a quick stop first. And believe me, if it all turns to shit, you can drink all the Midori Leprechauns you can drink, and I’ll pay for it.”