Unveiled (Torn #6)(28)

Suddenly, the speaker in the bathroom was announcing my impending flight to Athens, stating it was now open for passengers to board. Should I even bother going to “surprise” him? I derided myself for being so utterly clueless about Dimitris’s indiscretions. How could I have been so blind and na?ve, thinking he would change his sex life because he was in love with me? He was probably used to not having to commit to anyone. Maybe that was why he was finding it rather challenging to do it with me. Yet wasn’t it him less than twenty-four hours before making innuendoes about me and Brody? Was that why he kept talking about it? Because, deep down, he wanted me to look like the bad guy again so I wouldn’t catch him and see what he had been up to with Claudine? No wonder he never wanted to give her up. I fully saw his reasoning.

Biting my lip, I weighed out what I ought to do from there on out. Should I simply go back home and simmer in my hate and distaste of the man I unfortunately loved with my whole heart? Or should I still follow through with my plan, pretend I had no clue what was going on, and give him the chance to come out and fully explain himself without any malice or doubts, simply giving him a platform to disclose all the good and bad with all honesty and sincerity?

I found myself surprised that I was even weighing things. The old me wouldn’t have batted an eyelash. She would have boarded the plane back to the states the second the newspaper caught her attention. It was disheartening that this change had come too late to save my relationship with Dimitris Kosta.

Making a decision not to go back home came at a high price. I had to set my pride and ego aside, putting on a mindset that I was doing this for the both of us and would endure the pain until I knew there was nothing salvageable in our distorted bond of love. The future was unpredictable, but I didn’t want to keep having regrets. Therefore, I would go through the next few weeks or months, depending on how long it took him to confess and what that confession entailed, with an open mind as well as a guarded, shattered heart and unveiled eyes. I wasn’t sure how I would manage it, but I would get through with this, even if it killed me. I wouldn’t give up until I knew we were irrevocably over and done with.

It took me another five minutes to cry a little more and gather my bearings before coming out of the cubicle, heading straight to where the mirror was, needing to take care of tattered lashes and red-rimmed eyes.

I only hoped that, once I land on Greek soil, my old self would awaken. I needed all the armor I could get. Being the woman I was right then—vulnerable, too shaken, and too hurt to even make a decent decision—wouldn’t fair properly if I was to defend what was supposed to be mine. I would go there, ready to face whatever shenanigans Claudine had for me, equipped to handle the lies Dimitris might dish out to me.

Before booking my tickets at the airline kiosk, I remembered thinking the flight from London to Athens was too long. So long, in fact, that it would keep me on edge from too much excitement to see his happy face the moment he realized I had come out early to see him.

For the entire duration of the flight, I didn’t put myself through the hellish nightmare of recalling our good memories; instead, I willed myself to ingrain the photos to memory, as if they were the Catholic’s top-secret code to unlocking the Holy Grail. I wasn’t deceiving myself into thinking everything was Claudine’s fault. Of course not. Dimitris absolutely was involved, too, because this wouldn’t have taken place had he not been in her home. I just wondered how long it would take him to tell me and how much of it would be lies and half-truths, knowing he could very well lose me in a heartbeat.

Even a man in love could cheat. I knew that saying to be true. Carter, for one, was a prime example. He had done what he did, even though he had known Emma was crazy for him. And, deep down, he was in love with her, too; however, he had pushed those feelings aside for a moment of fun and pleasure. As had Brody. Even the perfect Bass Cole. Though he hadn’t cheated on Emma, he had pretty much dated Nikki because it was the easiest thing to try to get over his lost love. He had functioned and done all that stuff with her while he secretly pined for the love of his life.

That was how men were. Even though they would secretly be in pain, they would still carry on doing their manly jobs through sexual endeavors and bolstering their egos, as if they needed validation that they were still a man. Because a real man didn’t fall for pansy shit like love. Because a real man didn’t back down from free vaginas on display. Because a real man was a beast who could do as he pleased without feeling sorry or remorseful, even though they knew what they were doing was wrong. Still, they would carry on as if they hadn’t stumbled, as if they weren’t wounded, as if they weren’t holding on to the torch that was burning them alive, inside out.

But let’s be honest here, if Dimitris did confess to doing the deed with Claudine, did I have it in me to forgive him? I mean, after all, he had forgiven me for a lot of things, including leaving him for Brody. Could I be a magnanimous person and simply focus on how much he truly loved me, how much he had fought to have me, and how much he had battled to keep loving me, even though I had denounced his love from the very beginning, tainted his name and shamed him by walking out on him only ninety-six hours after saying I do?

The daunting question weighed heavily on me since I wasn’t really sure what I would do.

All I knew was how much I loved the man and how much I would suffer to have him. The rest was an endless question mark.

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