Unveiled (Torn #6)(19)

Mother Hell. Why did it have to be so difficult rehashing the past? Of course I remembered the day Dimitris Kosta had come back into my life, all set and ready with divorce papers. I still remembered the anger I had for him then, but what I didn’t recognize was that I was already jealous—so f*uking jealous that he was thinking about his future with another woman. I was confused by my emotions pulling me in all directions I was so focused on my anger and hurt I felt blindsided when it dawned on me that I was in love with him already. He calmed the raging emotions and made me feel loved.

“Brody, I’m sorry for hurting you. I really didn’t know how much I felt for him until it was too late. All my life, I was convinced it was you I wanted to be with. I f*uking adored you, loved you for as long as I could remember. But I’m his now. You need to learn to let go because I’m never coming back.”

I swallowed the ball of pain that was lodged in my throat. “Living in the past won’t do you or any of us any good. I really am sorry for putting you through this. I never wanted to hurt you, but I must follow my heart, and it led me to him.”

He flinched before looking away, blowing out a breath. “It still pains me to hear you say it. This shit still hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, wanting to comfort him, although what he wanted was truly impossible to accomplish.

“I know you are, Linds. That’s why it’s harder to stomach. I keep thinking that, if I just confronted Carter when we were still freshmen, telling him I was crazy about you, too, instead of pushing you away whenever I had the chance, none of this would’ve happened. But I missed that opportunity, and I’m paying the price for being a coward. I mean, how do I stop loving you when that’s all I’ve known all my life?”

Making a sad smile, I reached out to him. “You try until one day you no longer have to. I saw the way Amber looks at you, and if Trista is right, that girl is crazy about you, too. I never knew she had feelings for you. That’s why it all came as a shock when I found out.”

“What happened with her that one time, Linds … I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, you and I weren’t together then, but I wasn’t even thinking of her. Maybe I was too frustrated that I couldn’t have you, and that’s why, when she offered herself to me, I didn’t push her off. Maybe, in the back of my mind, she was the closest thing I’ll ever get to experience having you.

“It’s a f*uked up thing to even consider, but my suppressed feelings for you through the years have made me do a lot of stupid shit. You saw me happily hopping from bed to bed, partying until I was out of my mind. In the sickest way, I was distracting myself because I didn’t want to think about you or what you might be doing on a Friday night. I thought my kind of defense worked fine, until I saw Cooper kiss you. I just became a hot mess from then on.”

“Promise me you’ll try to live again,” I persisted. “Promise me that, even if it hurts, you’re going to put yourself out there. Maybe not with Amber, but with someone else. I hate, hate seeing you like this. I care about you too much to see you like this, Brody. So, please, do this for me. Do this for yourself.”

He shrugged, trying to contain the pain in his eyes. “For you, I’ll try. But know this, when I f*uk someone else, I’ll be thinking of you, Lindsey.

“From what I read online, it looks like that French woman is busy being a part of his daily life while you’re here, living your own life that doesn’t include him. So, when this shit falls apart with the Greek guy who has his French lover hanging off him, waiting until you’re out of the picture, you know where to find me. I won’t give up, not until you’re married, not until I know I can’t have you back. From where I’m standing, the game is far from over. He lives in Greece and you’re here. How long do you think that’ll last?”

It was as if he had dug into my heart and mirrored every fear that had plagued me since Trista had brought that article to my attention. It was rather frightening when one’s fears were brought out in the open. It made it even more real. As Brody had stated, Claudine was a part of his daily life while I was living my own that didn’t include Dimitris.





Chapter 10


Lindsey


After finishing our coffee without bothering to play checkers, since the mood between us was rather somber, he and I left the coffee shop so he could drop me off at the hospital’s parking lot where I had left my car.

The drive back left me in my own world of doubts and fears, while Brody was in a much subdued mood, as if confessing all of those feelings he had hidden inside had somehow freed him from the demons that kept him awake at night. I supposed, when one lived with a lot of regrets, it was rather hard not to feel the burden of it all.

The moment we got back to the hospital lot, he parked a few spots away from my car.

Releasing a breath, I unbuckled my seatbelt before I turned to him. “Thank you for persisting we have this talk,” I started before reaching out to hold his hand. It felt warm and familiar. “I love you, too. I’ve loved you all my life, but you must set me free. I don’t want you to wait for me and wish my relationship with Dimitris won’t ever work out, because even if it didn’t, I’m not giving up on him. Not even Claudine and her stubborn persistence will push me away. So, please, do us both a favor and try. It’s the only option that’s on the table. I’m always going to be here for you—always—but I belong to him, Brody. I belong with him.”