Until Lilly (Until, #3)(14)
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she asks, and I press into her. We’re just around the corner from where Ashlyn is sitting. If I lean back, I can see her.
I put my mouth near her ear so I don’t have to talk too loudly. “I am not f*cking married.” I press my hips into hers. “I was married. It didn’t last long. I hated my wife. I hated the reasons why I had to marry her. I missed you every day, but I do not regret marrying her because I have my son now.” Her eyes search mine; she crosses her arms over her chest. I pull her arms apart, putting them up above her head.
“Stop,” she cries, wiggling and trying to get free. Her breathing speeds up, her eyes drop to my mouth, and just like that, it’s on. My body presses the length of hers, and keeping her hands above her head, I attack her mouth. I lick her bottom lip and her mouth opens under mine. My tongue touches hers and I coax hers into my mouth then suck hard, making her moan. She pulls back, biting my lip. I drop her hands and fist her hair, forcing her head one way and tilt mine the other. I missed this; I forgot how much I loved kissing her, and she could f*cking kiss like no other. I pull back, laying my forehead on hers, trying to catch my breath and calm the hard-on that is making my jeans way too tight.
“I'm going to make you fall in love with me again,” I tell her without thinking.
“What?” she asks as I press my mouth to hers one more time, not answering her question. I step away, walking back into the kitchen to finish making breakfast.
I look over at Lilly, who is standing on the other side of the counter. “This weekend we will be going to my mom and dad’s for a bar-b-que.” I run my hand down Ashlyn’s hair then look at Lilly. “I will come pick you up with Jax, and we can head over there together.”
“Um,” she mumbles, looking confused. Her lips are swollen and her cheeks are a light pink. Trevor’s words come back to me again. I don’t know if he is right, but I guess we will find out.
“You should pack a bag and we should have a sleepover this weekend,” I say, making Lilly’s eyes grow wide.
“Yay, sleep over!” Ashlyn claps, making me smile and bend over to kiss the top of her head.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lilly states, crossing her arms over her chest, showing off the curves of her breasts.
“Well, if we’re going to go to the zoo Saturday morning, it will be easier if we all sleep in the same place. I mean, Jax and I could stay here, but you don’t have as many rooms as I do.” I shrug like it’s no big deal either way.
“Were going to the zoo?” Ashlyn whispers, looking at her mom. Lilly’s eyes fly to hers, and her face completely changes. “Can we, really?” Ashlyn asks.
“Sure, we can go.” Lilly takes a step over towards Ashlyn, looking into the bowl. “Is that all ready?”
“Yep.” Ashlyn smiles, and Lilly kisses her forehead before taking the bowl away from her and setting it close to the stove. She goes about pulling out a pan and heating it up, while I talk to Ashlyn about the zoo and what she would like to see. Every chance I get, I touch Lilly, making sure she knows I haven’t forgotten about her. She doesn’t say anything, and I can see the wheels in her head turning. When breakfast is done, we sit down around the small table to eat.
“Where is Jax?” Ashlyn asks, taking a bite of her pancakes.
“He’s with my mom—your grandma.”
“Will I see him tomorrow?”
“No, you won’t see him until the weekend.” I look between Ashlyn and Lilly, coming to a decision. “Unless we come over tomorrow and take you ladies out for pizza?”
“Yay, pizza!” Ashlyn yells, and I laugh. I look up at Lilly, who doesn’t look very happy.
“Go get dressed, love bug,” Lilly says. Ashlyn scoots off the chair, and then heads down the hall to her room. Once she is out of sight, Lilly turns on me. “Look, I am happy you want to be a part of Ashlyn’s life, but that doesn’t include me, okay? I mean, we haven’t been a we for a long time.” She stands, picking up her plate.
“That’s going to change.” She turns to face me; the pain in her eyes is so raw that my gut clenches.
“I trusted you. I loved you. You destroyed me. If I hadn’t had Ashlyn, who knows what would have happened.”
“I know. I destroyed myself when I left you. I didn’t know what else to do. Jax’s mom was threatening to have an abortion. I always wanted you. I missed you every day, but I did what I had to do to protect my son. Wouldn’t you do whatever is necessary to protect Ashlyn?”
“Yes.” I could see tears spring to her eyes.
“You have been the only woman besides my family who I have ever loved. I never wanted to hurt you, Lilly, and I will find a way to prove to you that things are different this time. But we will work this out. You are my one. I gave you up once, but that will never happen again.” I pull her into me, holding her close. She is stiff for a second before her body relaxes.
“Why can’t I hate you?” Her words are quiet, and I can hardly make them out.
I whisper into her ear before kissing her under it, “Because I am your one, too.”
Chapter 3
Lilly
“Mommy, why do you keep talking to yourself?” I look down at Ashlyn, who is sitting on the floor playing with the doll that Cash brought her the first time he came to visit. Since then, he has been here three times with Jax so we could all have dinner together. I have been so afraid to trust what’s going on between us, but it feels so right. He hasn’t kissed me since he had me pinned against the wall, but he never lets me get too far away from him, and if we’re out in public, he is always touching me. I feel safe and cared for. I feel exactly how I felt the last time we were together, and I think that’s what scares me the most.