Until Harry(51)

Talk, I willed myself.

“I like Kale,” I blurted out.

I held my breath as soon as the words were out of my mouth. My mother halted her movements and looked at me, her lips parted. “I know.”

She knows? my mind screeched.

I exhaled. “You do?”

She nodded. “I always knew you had a little crush on him.”

If my being in love with him was described as a “little crush” then yeah, I crushed on Kale hard. “How come you never said anything to me about it?” I questioned, feeling at a disadvantage. First, Kale had known I liked him, and now my mother did? Who else was aware of my clearly obvious feelings for him?

She shrugged and turned to face me fully, a tea towel in her hands, drying them. “I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

I frowned. “But you talked to me when I liked Blake, before Lochlan scared him off that is.”

“That was different,” she lightly chuckled. “I didn’t know this Blake lad. He isn’t a son to me the way Kale is.”

I felt my heart sink. “You really think of Kale as a son?”

My mother nodded. “Your father does too. Even your Uncle Harry and Nanny consider him our family.”

She wasn’t making me feel better. If anything, her words were making me feel worse.

I scratched my neck. “It’d be weird for us to . . . you know, ever wind up together then?” I asked, chuckling to help clear out the awkwardness I felt.

My mother laughed. “Yeah, it’d be strange since everyone considers you his little sister.”

I looked away from my mother so she wouldn’t see the hurt in my eyes. “Yeah, you’re right,” I said, and cleared my throat. “I guess I just liked him because he was always around me.”

I was surprised at how easily I lied about something, someone that was so close to my heart.

“That and Lochlan never let you close to a boy no matter how many times I warned him not to interfere.” My mother clucked her tongue, then turned her back to me as she carried on with hand-washing the dishes.

“You know Lochlan.” I swallowed. “He just wants to protect me.”

“Layton and Kale too,” she chuckled. “That’s what brothers do.”

I’d never thought of Kale as a brother or relative of any kind, not since I was little. “Yeah,” I said, and stood up from the table. “Lavender will be over soon.”

I heard the smile in my mother’s voice as she said, “I’m so glad you have a girlfriend to spend time with. You need to experience life outside of your circle with just Kale.”

I hated to admit it, but I needed to experience life entirely outside of Kale, now more than ever. I really needed to speak to my Uncle Harry, because he got me – he always understood me so easily. He didn’t need to know about Kale and me having sex, but he could know something serious happened and that the outcome broke my heart in two.

I heard my mother talking, but for the life of me I couldn’t hear what she was saying over my own thoughts. I nodded to her, even though she couldn’t see the gesture as I left the kitchen and headed up the stairs to my room. When I entered my room, I sat down on my bed and clutched at my chest as pain spread across it.

I wiped under my nose with the back of my hand and looked over to my bedside table, where the vibrations of my phone rumbled against the wood. I dried my eyes with the corners of my towel, picked up my phone and saw Kale’s text message. My heart stopped.



I hope u r ok. I’m so sry, I rly hope u dont h8 me. I luv u nd Im sry if Ive ruined evrythin.



I gritted my teeth at Kale’s text talk; I hated when he didn’t use grammar correctly, but I shoved that annoyance aside as I thumbed out a reply.



Stop it. It’s fine. I’m fine. It was a mistake. I know that, and you know that. You’re still my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. You haven’t ruined anything. You’re still my buddy. Things haven’t changed. I promise :)

Lie. Lie. Lie.

I didn’t voice it, but I suspected things would never be the same between us ever again, and I think Kale knew it too.





CHAPTER ELEVEN

Day three in York

Lane?”

I blinked away the memory that had taken hold of me and turned my head to the voice that called my name, and when I found the source was Ally Day, my gaze hardened.

It was Sunday, the day after my uncle’s funeral, and my family, family friends and a bunch of other people had dropped by my parents’ home, some to talk about their good times with my uncle, while others were drinking.

I made sure that I steered clear of alcohol. I hadn’t touched a drop of it in seven years, and even though I felt like I was at my lowest point, I kept my private vow never to use alcohol to mask my pain again. I had done that enough in my late teenage years, and I never wanted to fall back into that state of mind.

“What do you want, Ally?” I quipped, pushing loose strands of hair from my face. “I’m not in the mood to be put down. I’ve had a shitty weekend, in case you haven’t noticed.”

Ally winced. “I deserve that.”

“You think?” I sarcastically asked.

She played with the hem of her cardigan as she said, “Lane, I’m sorry.”