Unseen Messages(136)

I loved him.

I love him.

He couldn’t leave me.

“Please, Galloway. Don’t.” Tears pricked my eyes. Along with my thoughts becoming quieter and more obsessed with what happened internally, my emotions were on the knife-edge of intensity.

I bawled for no apparent reason.

I blew up over the slightest infraction.

I couldn’t stand myself, let alone understand what it was like to live with a she-monster like me.

“You’re only doing this because I’m annoying you and you want to run away from me.” My bottom lip stuck out.

I shook my head at my dramatics, rolling my eyes at this weepy, manipulative creature I’d become, but I couldn’t stop it. Whatever chemicals drenched my blood turned me from rational to insane.

Grasping his hand, I tugged him into my bulging belly. “G, I’m sorry. I won’t moan anymore. I won’t snap. I won’t do anything to annoy you ever again. If only you’ll stay. Please, say you’ll stay.”

Galloway’s arms looped around me, holding me gently but firmly. The adoration in his blue, blue eyes threatened to send me into hysterics at the thought of never seeing him again.

Tears slicked down my cheeks. It probably came across as a tactic to make him stay, but I was honestly terrified of him leaving. This wasn’t a trick. This was life or death for me.

“Estelle...don’t.” He collected my raining tears, cupping my cheeks with both hands. “I’m not going anywhere. You’ll be able to see me the entire time.”

I sniffed, doing my best to control my terribly tangled emotions but failing. “But...what if something happens.”

“Nothing is going to happen.”

“But it could.”

“Yes, it could.”

“Then, stay, dammit. It’s not worth it.”

His thumbs tightened on my cheeks. “Estelle, you’re pregnant. Remember how terrified you were at the beginning?”

I tried to remember, but strangely, those past fears had been muted. I didn’t know if it was baby hormones or sensibility, but I wasn’t nearly as freaked out. Perhaps, it was self-preservation so I didn’t go mad and try to cut myself open to avoid the horrendously painful birth.

Galloway kissed me. “Well, I’m now just as terrified. In fact, I’ve been terrified for months. And if I have a small chance that I can get you off this island before...” His eyes drifted to my large belly. “Well, before the baby arrives, then I’m going to do whatever I can to make that happen.”

Letting me go, he strode purposely to the water.

Pippa ran to him, hugging his middle. “G, I’m with Stelly. I don’t want you to go.”

My heart pounded as he ducked and squeezed his island daughter.

Daughter.

Soon, he would have another son or daughter.

A fully fledged blooded and bonded fruit of his loins.

Who the hell came up with that term? Fruit of his loins.

I curled my upper lip, realising too late that my inner thoughts probably made no sense to those watching me.

Waddling to G and Pippi, I slid my arm over her shoulders from behind, tugging her close.

I needed her closeness.

Considering I’d run all my life from being touched or getting emotionally attached to others, I now craved the company.

I never wanted to be alone again.

And he’s leaving me.

My tears began anew, tickling my chin as they rolled in sadness.

Galloway groaned. “Estelle, stop it. You’re killing me.” Grabbing my nape, he jerked me close and kissed me.

He didn’t kiss me softly. He kissed me violently with tongue and taste and tantalizing torment.

Pippa squirmed in my embrace, crushed between Galloway and my belly.

We broke apart, smiling apologetically at the girl.

Galloway took the opportunity to hop onto the raft, his arms stabilising as the bamboo rolled with the current.

Conner was already on, balancing like a pirate, holding both paddles.

He passed one to Galloway. “Ready?”

With one last look at me, Galloway nodded. “Ready.”

There were no spinnakers to harness the wind. No rudders to steer, no masts to steady.

Just a fateful, soon-to-be-failure.

No one listened to my protests as they pushed off from the shore and paddled away.

They crossed the bay, they approached the reef, all while standing proud on their floatable platform.

.............................

NOVEMBER

We never discussed what happened that day in October.

No one said a word as Conner and Galloway swam back to shore, minus the raft and oars.

I’d been right.

The calm atoll had been a paddling haven, but when the craft reached the curling waves over the reef, it’d disintegrated beneath the smashing wet weight.

My soul hurt for Galloway’s creation. My heart wept at how much energy and time he’d put into making it. I hated his crushing disappointment.

But I was glad in a way.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get off the island. It wasn’t that I didn’t crave medical supervision and a hospital when it came time to deliver.

But this way, the option had been stolen.

If the raft had survived and they’d broken past the reef, I would’ve had to make a choice.