Unseen Messages(133)

Estelle and I didn’t fight often, and if we did, it was defused as fast as it took to move whatever it was that annoyed us or obey the certain chore we’d ignored (normally me on that one), but this time, I couldn’t calm down until Estelle gave me what I wanted.

An answer.

That’s what I bloody want.

“Tell me. Do you hate me? Did I hurt you?” I paced, unable to stand still. “I told you I’d never hurt you, but if somehow I did, I’m so bloody sorry. But you can’t keep punishing me like this. You can’t shove me out of your heart just because you don’t like me anymore.”

I struggled for breath; the island became claustrophobic. I hadn’t admitted my fears, even to myself. I’d pretended she was okay. That we were okay. But as days turned to weeks and she never lost the cool despair in her eyes, how could I not jump to conclusions that our relationship had run its course and she’d moved on?

Of course, she’d bloody move on.

Why wouldn’t she? She was gorgeous. Smart. Pretty. Funny. Insanely talented.

Compared to me?

She was a damn goddess while I was a convicted felon who ought to have spent the rest of his life behind bars (before a bloody miracle freed him).

I’d pursued her knowing full well she was out of my league. But now, having her come to the same conclusion and cutting me off? It was more than I could goddamn stand.

Take the raft and leave.

I couldn’t stay here if she didn’t want me anymore.

I physically couldn’t sleep beside her never being able to touch or kiss or whisper nonsensical stuff in the night.

She was mine.

She was my home.

And for some reason, she’d tossed me out into the scary, terrible dark with no explanation.

Estelle slowly stood up, her eyes narrowed to combat the bright sun behind me. “Can we not do this here?”

“No, we can. Right now.” My nostrils flared. “Just spit it out. Go on, it’s not hard. Tell me the truth.”

“What truth?” Anger tinted her cheeks.

“The truth that you don’t want me anymore.”

She had the gall to roll her eyes. “G, you’re bonkers. Why wouldn’t I want you anymore? I love you.”

“Funny way of bloody showing it.”

“Leave her alone,” Pippa said.

Conner’s head wrenched up, no longer oblivious to the swirling tension cycloning around the camp. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Estelle sucked in a breath, her chest rising beneath her black t-shirt.

When was the last time she wore her bikini? When was the last time she let me spoon her in bed, cup her belly, and pull her onto my cock?

Weeks, that’s how long.

Too goddamn long.

“Galloway seems to think I don’t love him anymore.” Estelle glanced at Conner. “Can someone tell him how ludicrous that is?”

Conner scowled. “Dude, stop being a drama llama.”

(I should never have told him what Estelle called me that first day).

“She’s fine. Course she still loves you, man.” His eyes narrowed on Estelle. Recently, his hormones had revved his testosterone to a level I didn’t like. He watched my woman with a lust that shouldn’t exist. I didn’t want to have to kick his ass, but I would if he ever put the moves on her. She was his mother figure, not a damn wanking object.

Oh, shit.

What if Estelle shacked up with Conner? What if years passed by and Conner grew into a good-looking man and she dumped me for younger goods?

“Ah!” I clutched my head, wanting to rip into my brain and tear out such heinous thoughts.

Estelle’s hands landed on my wrists, pulling my arms down. Concern and affection swam in her gaze. “G, I don’t know what’s brought this on, but I’m sorry if I caused it by being so quiet.” Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed me.

I didn’t yield.

I didn’t give into the kiss.

For all I knew, it was a break-up kiss.

My back bunched and muscles quivered with the need to punch something or run.

Pippa drifted forward, standing warily a few feet away. “Please...don’t fight. I love both of you. Please.” Her eyes welled with tears.

Poor kid was overly sensitive to losing those she cared for.

I sighed heavily. “It’s okay, Pippi. We’re not fighting.”

Estelle dropped her gaze, fighting the oppressive weight she’d been battling for weeks. It killed me that she didn’t let me fight on her behalf. Couldn’t she see I would slaughter anything that hurt her...multiple times over...and chase it into the underworld to make sure it was dead so it could never hurt her again?

My heart clambered like a rabies-infected animal. I cupped her cheek, sucking in a relieved breath as she pressed her face into my palm. “Please...Estelle, I’m begging you. Tell me what’s wrong. I’m going out of my mind with worry.”

A small smile lit her lips. “Well, you can stop thinking I don’t love you anymore. In fact, I love you even more than I did.”

I didn’t know how that was possible, but I’d take it.

I’d take whatever she gave me. I’d survive on mere scraps of tenderness if that were all she could offer.

“Okay...” I brushed my thumb on her lower lip, very aware of how soft and warm her mouth was. “Tell me then...what is it?”