Unravel(83)

“Do you know Lachlan outside of Fairfax?”

He stares at me, saying nothing, before he nods. “I know his parents.”

I mutter a curse and walk around him.

“Think about what you’re doing!” Dr. Woods calls out behind me.

I whirl around, walking backwards, and pointing my finger directly at him. “I’m doing this because of what you allowed to happen this morning. Whatever happens is on you!”

I turn back around and run to my car. I can feel everyone’s eyes on my back. It occurs to me that my job is more than on the line. I can just about kiss my career good-bye. Even with that depressing thought looming above my head, I still slam my car door and follow after Lachlan. I finally realize that I probably am too close to Naomi and her story. I pushed myself into her world, where the truth was hidden by lies. The option to step back and do nothing has disappeared.

My mistake, but my choice.



40—CONVERGE

Freedom is a heady thing.

When it’s been absent from your life for so long you become obsessed with it. You think of all the things you’ll do when you get it back. Maybe stand outside and breathe in all the fresh air you can. Or maybe you’ll lie in the grass, watch as the sky above and the white, puffy clouds slowly drift by, knowing that you have nowhere to go. The more time that passes, the more you envision what you would do. And then, when you are handed your freedom, so easily and so quickly, you almost don’t know what to do with yourself.

That’s exactly how I felt when Mary came into my room and told me I was going home. She had my suitcase in hand and a solemn expression on her face as she packed up my stuff. It was so unexpected, and completely out of the blue, that I could only stare with shock. I quietly got dressed, looking over at her every few minutes.

Before we left my room she handed me back my shoelaces, a bag of makeup. A nail file. One pen. And my cell phone. I had stared down at the items with shock. Was this really happening? I kept thinking. Or was this some kind of elaborate prank at my expense?

When we walked down the hallway, I braced myself for Mary to pull back and tell me that this was just a practice run for when I really was released and that I had to go back to my cold, lonely room.

I finally saw my mom by the front doors, standing next to Dr. Woods. I quickly realized that this wasn’t a joke. I was actually leaving. So where was my excitement? Why couldn’t it walk on up to my fear and kick it aside and fill me up with hope? It was there when Lachlan picked me up and that freedom was only temporary.

My mom turned around when she heard our approaching footsteps. She walked over to me. I instantly got a whiff of her perfume.

“Ah, there she is.” She hugged me.

“Mom?” I frowned over her shoulder as she patted my back. “What’s going on?”

She pulled me back, holding me at arm’s length. Perfectly straight, white teeth appeared when she smiled. “You’re going home.”

“I know that… but why?” Nothing was making sense.

“You need to be home, that’s why.”

That was probably the only explanation I would get.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked.

It didn’t feel right. Just yesterday, I had left Dr. Rutledge’s office feeling worn down. She had told me I wasn’t ready to go home yet, and now here my mom was, right out of the blue? My gut twisted tightly. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

I reached for my bag. Mary was still holding it, both hands tightly gripping the strap. I didn’t want to look her in the eye. I don’t know why. I just knew that if I did, tears would ensue. Mary was always so stern and stoic but I was used to her. She had become a consistent part of my life and I didn’t know what I would do without her.

She reached out and hugged me. Her grip was tight. I had to pull away first.

“Take care of yourself,” she said into my ear and smoothed my hair. The whole time she had a smile on her face and tears brimming in her eyes.

“I will,” I said.

A few minutes later, my mom and I were walking out the front doors. Before I got into the car, I spotted that naked tree next to the rec room window. That frozen icicle was melting. Water slowly dripped down onto the soggy ground.

It felt like an omen—the ending of my time here.

I spent the entire drive home trying to figure out if that was a good or bad thing.

When my mom parked in front of the house, neither one of us made any attempt to get out of the car. She grabbed her purse and exhaled loudly. I just sat there, completely frozen over.

“You’re home,” she said slowly, staring at the steering wheel. “It’s time to move past your stay at Fairfax.” She looked over at me. “We need to be a family again.”

No welcome home! Or hugs. Just the cold, hard facts.

Instead of relaxing when I got home, I dropped my bags off in my room, and walked right back out the door with just my keys in hand.





An hour later I’m still driving.

I have no idea where I’m going and I don’t care. I follow the twists and turns of the road, trying to ignore the restless feeling taking root in my gut. It makes my fingers tap anxiously against the steering wheel. A few minutes later I park the car and get out. The air rushes into me, making me shiver. I cross my arms and turn in a circle, staring at the barren earth.