Unravel(31)

“No. I mean something fun, like a road trip.”

I knew Lana was controlled by her fear, but maybe if I turned the leaving part into a fun vacation, she would agree. It was a long shot, but it was the only thing I could think of right now.

She gave the sun her cheek and looked at me. “What?”

“Yeah!” I said anxiously. “We could go to California. Instead of laying out by a pool, we could have the ocean in front of us and the sand beneath us!”

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. But Lana shot my idea down in a heartbeat.

“Why not? This is summer time. This what people our age do.”

She stared solemnly at me, never answering. We were the same age. Our eyes should reflect that. But hers showed she had lived a lifetime filled with more darkness than light, more tears than smiles, and more brutality than happiness.

“You promised you wouldn’t bring it up.”

My shoulders stiffened. “I’m not.”

Lana lowered her sunglasses. “How long have we known each other?”

“Ten years.”

“Yeah. Ten years. And in that ten years I’ve kept this a secret. Do you know why?” She leaned in, never giving me the chance to answer. “Because I wanted to protect you.”

Lana was the one that needed protecting. Not me. I was fine. I stared at her, unable to say a damn thing.

“Naomi,” she said slowly. “I knew you couldn’t handle it. You can barely handle it now.”

“But you can?”

Lana shrugged. “It’s all I know.”

She accepted her pain fiercely. So much so that it was almost crippling. Her thoughts and dreams and fears were woven and created by her past.

“So that’s it?” I ask. “You’re just going to live with this pain for the rest of your life?”

Lana shifted in her seat. “Can we drop this, please?”

If I kept persisting she would bolt and I might make things worse than they already were.

“Yes,” I finally said. “For now.”

She gave me a smile and straightened out her towel. Before she lay back down, she looked at me, the smile gone. “You’re going to keep this a secret, right?”

I looked away.

“Naomi,” she said my name softly. “Please tell no one.”





Later in the day, Lana fell asleep in her room. I left her and went downstairs. I should’ve been the one tired, but I had adrenaline coursing through my body. Sooner or later, I would crash, but not right now.

I had just gotten off the phone with Max. He would be coming over soon. I’d only seen him mere hours ago, but our date and kiss felt like it’d happened weeks ago. I was so caught up in Lana that I really hadn’t had the chance to think about him… or us.

Did I want the summer with him? When I said yes, I meant it. Even now I wanted to. Yet the situation with Lana changed everything. I didn’t see how I could have both in my life without the two of them interconnecting. Lana was my best friend—a sister more than anything else. Max… he was something. I could feel it in the way my heart tightened and flipped whenever I thought about him. And being something meant that sooner rather than later he would find out about Lana. It was too big to keep hidden.

I sat at the computer desk. I had swiped her laptop before I left the room. I clicked on the Internet icon and waited for the Google home screen to appear. I nibbled on my fingernail, impatiently waiting. When it did show up, my heart went into overdrive. I felt scared and nervous, questioning why I was doing this.

I typed in US Senator Virginia before I could talk myself out of it. Instantly Lana’s dad appeared, highlighted in black and directly beneath the search bar. I clicked the option and waited for the page to load. I knew I was safe. No one was here besides Lana, but I still looked over my shoulder in paranoia.

There were pages of sites that came up. A campaign website. His own personal website and a Wikipedia page. He even had a f*cking Facebook page.

But I ignored the websites. I clicked on the photos first. Most of them were pictures of her dad shot at different angles, speaking to a crowd, with dozens of mics in front of him. There was one of him walking down the street of McLean with a nameless man beside him. Her dad was pointing to something off in the distance, the nameless man looking impressed.

There was nothing damaging connected to his name. His record was squeaky clean.

What did I really expect though, one quick Internet search and I would have the answer to all my problems? My Nancy Drew skills were pathetic.

I opened a separate page and typed in the word rape. My stomach started to churn. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew the meaning behind the word. I just didn’t know how to handle what came after the word. I was clueless, and after this afternoon, I was deflated and more confused than ever. I rested my chin on my palm. My fingers drummed against my lower lip as I quickly scrolled down the page.

“What are you looking at?”

I turned, falling halfway out of the chair. My back painfully hit the desk.

Max was standing behind me. His arms were crossed, brows knitted in concentration as he stared at the screen.

“You scared the shit out of me!” I breathed.

“Sorry,” Max said and he helped me up. But he didn’t sound sorry. His voice was tight and in control. “What are you looking at?”