Unravel(2)

I pull out the chair across from Lachlan.

His eyes meet mine. It’s a shock to my nerves. My blood rushes straight to my head.

“How are you?” he asks.

My feet rest on the edge of the seat. I place my chin on my knees, refusing to look away from him. He visits frequently. But the time between those visits seems to stretch further and further apart.

“I’m the same as two days ago,” I say.

Lachlan stares at me levelly. His eyes are sharp. They miss nothing. “Have you been talking to your doctor?”

I look out the window, away from his gaze.

An exhausted sigh escapes him. Lachlan drags his hands through his hair. “I miss you, Naomi.”

“I miss you too.” My voice cracks.

“You know you don’t belong here, right?”

I nod.

“Then you need to try and get better.” Lachlan looks around the room like he’s watching a circus. His jaw hardens. “It f*cking kills me to leave you here.”

I reach across the table and place my hand on top of Lachlan’s. His eyes become hooded as he looks at it. He turns his hand over and his fingers move across my wrist, making my skin burn. With his palm face up, he swallows my hand in his own. “You love me?”

I look Lachlan dead in the eye. “You know I do.” My words should’ve given him hope, but now he just looks deflated. “If you love me, then you need to get better.”

“I’m trying,” I insist. I try to move my hand.

Lachlan’s grip tightens. “No, you’re not.”

“I can’t ignore everything that’s happened,” I say in an intense whisper.

He leans in, his face inches from mine. “I told you I wouldn’t stop fighting. I told you that you weren’t in this alone and you crumbled.”

I jerk my hand back. He lets go. I can handle a lot of things, but hearing those words come out of his mouth feels like someone has cut a piece of my heart off.

He stares down at the table, where our hands were once intertwined. “This is destroying you,” he murmurs. “The Naomi I know would have never just given up so quickly. She would have fought to stay in the present.”

“I am fighting. Look around you, Lach,” I say. “How do you think I’ve lasted this long here?”

“You know why you’re here?” he asks sharply.

I don’t say a word.

“You’re here because you fell apart.”

I flinch because, true or not, I can’t go up against Lachlan’s words. He’s going to come out as the sane one. His words will make sense before mine ever will.

My heart thunders in my ears, and my vision blurs. I see a woman with sad eyes, staring at herself in the mirror. And I see Max lying beside me in bed. In one quick move I’m above him, and he smiles up at me, his hands gripping my waist.

And then the image disappears. I groan and press the heel of my hands into my eyes.

“Naomi, look at me.”

I lower my hands. Lachlan sits across from me, staring at me intensely.

His hand is around my neck. His thumb brushes across my skin and my body jolts.

“Are you with me right now?” he asks.

Yes… no… maybe. Every day is an unknown for me. Every day I wake up feeling like I’m surrounded by a heavy fog and I know I’m missing a piece of myself, and I don’t know where it is.

I answer Lachlan honestly. “For now I am.”

There’s a two-second pause as he looks me in the eye. A pause that makes my stomach twist and my blood roar through my veins. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He looks like he’s battling his feelings, but I watch as he loses. His eyes lock with mine and then he kisses me hard on the mouth.

Instantly, I come alive. And that’s what a good kiss should do. It should speak to you the minute your lips connect.

You don’t think.

You react.

You feel.

For Lachlan and me, it’s always been this way. All I can hear from this kiss is, “Remember me. I’m real.”

I respond the only way I know how, the way Lachlan showed me in the past. His hands hold my face in place. The pressure of his lips declines when I move my mouth against his. He makes a noise and grips my face tighter. It triggers memories of who I used to be. Behind my eyes, memories start to play on a projector. Each one has Lachlan. The two of us in a field, lighting rockets. Staring at the stars and talking until the sun comes up. I see myself smiling and carefree and so happy.

For a brief moment, I feel at peace. Lachlan’s tongue slips between my lips. A shudder moves through me as I open my mouth wider. My fingers move up his arms, toward his neck. Just when hope starts to flicker in me, Mary clears her throat.

Lachlan pulls away first. His pupils are dilated; his lips are swollen from our kiss. I lick my lips, trying to get a piece of that kiss back. Mary clears her throat louder this time. I glance up.

“Mr. Halstead,” she says, “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

He removes his hand from the back of my neck. My skin instantly feels cold. My arms drop heavily onto the table as I watch Lachlan stand up.

He looks at Mary. “Give me just a minute,” he says.

Mary’s eyes move between the two of us. She sighs. “One minute,” she warns and walks away.